A Split-Second of Violence
by Laura of Maychoria
Summary: Hinata is loud. Hinata is annoying. Hinata is also passionate and sunny and bright, and so full of joyful energy that he brings out the best in everyone around him, even if they occasionally want to slap his head to make him shut up for awhile. When a split second of violence threatens to take all of this way, Karasuno responds with a fury.
1. Chapter 1

"Where's Hinata?"

Kageyama glanced away from the door as Tanaka stepped up beside him, then looked back, watching through the supports of the covered walkway to the windows of the school hall. Tanaka followed his eyes and saw what he was looking at. "Ah, there he is."

Hinata was making his way toward the school exit to reach the gym, but not with his usual frantic run. He was chattering non-stop to a girl walking next to him, a tiny first-year Kageyama didn't know. Maybe she was in Hinata's class. It was obvious to Kageyama that she was fascinated by Hinata, hanging on his every word, her eyes bright and mouth open, hands clasped up near her chest. Hinata gesticulated wildly, making movements that vaguely suggested a block, a spike, a receive. He was nattering on about volleyball, of course, while his classmate probably didn't care what he was saying at all. She just wanted to listen to him talk.

Kageyama drummed his fingers against the door jamb, his other hand holding tight to the volleyball at his waist. "Tch." Hinata shouldn't be wasting his time on things that didn't matter. But it would be rude to run away from the girl, so Hinata should just extricate himself politely and get over to afternoon practice, already. They had a match coming up-they always had a match coming up-and they had far too much work to do.

Tanaka laughed, folding his arms over his chest and bending his hand back in his delight. "Ahaha, Hinata has an admirer! How adorable! They look cute together, don't you think?"

He nudged Kageyama's arm, threatening to dislodge his grip on the volleyball, and Kageyama spared him a squinty-eyed glare. "No. Shut up."

Tanaka chuckled, not in the least deterred, and went back to watching the two first-years as they appeared in the open double doors that led outside. In the entrance, Hinata reached some sort of climax in whatever he was talking about and performed one of his ridiculous jumps up into the air, his messy orange hair only a few centimeters below the top of the door.

_Dumbass!_ Kageyama's hand clenched into a fist. _What if he hit his head? He could have hurt himself!_

The girl gasped and clapped, even making a little hop in pure celebration. Hinata busted out one of his face-splitting grins, his eyes closing, and gave her a thumbs up.

Then things happened very quickly.

Kageyama hadn't been paying attention to the group off third-years hanging around behind Hinata and his tiny new friend. (Seriously, she was even shorter than Nishinoya, how the heck.) Later he would wonder if it would have made a difference if he'd noticed them, if he'd been observant enough to realIze, if he'd used some of his famous situational awareness outside of a gym for once…

But it was too fast, too unexpected. Even if Kageyama had been standing next to Hinata, he might not have been able to do anything.

The third-years were rough types, the kind of teenagers people assumed Asahi was before they got to know him. They were the kind of delinquents that would have had Hinata scrambling to hide behind Tanaka or Kageyama if they met them in a street. They wore sneers more sincere than Kuroo's, more mocking than Oikawa's, more cruel than fate's.

Maybe the thugs were talking amongst themselves, though Kageyama could not hear them over the sounds of Hinata's continued chatter. Maybe one of them said something to another that was taken as a dare or as encouragement or something like that. Maybe there was some twisted reason for what happened next. It was impossible to know.

All Kageyama knew was that suddenly one of the third-years grabbed Hinata's head, rough, dirty fingers plunging into that orange mop, and slammed him face-first into the concrete pillar of the door. The noise of it, the sickeningly loud _thunk_ of bone and flesh meeting painted concrete at an awful speed, hung in the air. For an instant, all sound was sucked out of the atmosphere as Hinata's voice cut off in the middle of a word.

Kageyama was moving before he knew what he was doing, well-honed athletic reflexes rocketing him across the walkway. A red haze was descending on his world, drowning out all other colors. Blood. There was blood dripping from Hinata's head. Behind him and slightly to the left Kageyama heard Tanaka's wordless roar chasing after him. That roar told him that he did not have to worry about the upperclassmen. He would not have to fight, not right now. Which was good, because that wasn't where he was heading. His feet were taking him to Hinata, straight as an arrow. Straight as a volleyball spiked by an ace.

Hinata's legs had buckled, sliding him down the wall to the ground. Now he knelt on the pavement, his hands raised to his head but not touching it. He was totally immobile where he knelt, frozen, his head bowed so Kageyama couldn't see his face. It wasn't like... It was not like him. It was wrong. It was... Hinata was never still, he never stopped moving, not in class, not in the hallway, not at lunch, not when they were sitting cross-legged on the floor of the gym as Coach Ukai or Takeda-sensei taught them new things about the sport they loved…

Kageyama fell to his knees, too, feeling like his muscles had been sliced from beneath him. "Hinata..." He started to reach out, his hands hovering frozen in the air's, just like Hinata's. It felt like the oxygen had been cut off from his brain. What had _happened?_ When he tried to think, his mind hit a snag, stuck on that horrible, incomprehensible moment when Hinata's head hit the wall. How could something like this happen? How could anything like this ever happen? To Hinata, of all people?

He was distantly aware of a commotion beside him, around him, Tanaka yelling, other teammates running up from behind him to the scene of the...crime? Accident? Horror? None of it mattered because Hinata was kneeling on the floor with his head bowed and blood dripping from his face and just... How could this happen?

Kageyama was waiting, he realized. He was waiting for someone to laugh and break the tension, to tell him that it was all a joke, that he'd seen it wrong, that it hadn't happened like that. He was waiting for Hinata to blush and wave his hands, embarrassed at the sudden attention, and tell everyone that it was fine and he was used to getting hit in the face. (But that's with a volleyball, his mind supplied helpfully. This was a wall.)

So he waited. But none of that happened.

Slowly, so slowly, Hinata raised his head and looked back at Kageyama. His eyes were blank and flat and completely empty of comprehension. Blood flowed in a fat, ugly trickle from a wound on his forehead, down to his cheek, reaching for his chin. "Ka...ge..."

"Hinata." Kageyama's hands completed their aborted movement and floated in to rest on Hinata's shoulders, gently, so gently. _Concussion,_ his mind informed him coolly. _Skull fracture. Brain damage. Coma. Death._ "Hinata, keep your eyes open, okay?"

"O...kay," Hinata agreed. His voice was also flat, empty of understanding. Hinata's voice was never flat. This was wrong.

"Did you pass out? Did you lose consciousness, even for a second?"

Hinata blinked. "I...don't know..."

Scuffling beside them. Tanaka's voice. "How dare you. How _dare_ you!" Suga, Daichi, grunting as they held Tanaka back. "His nose is already bleeding, Tanaka, wait for security now."

"How _dare_ you." A sob in Tanaka's voice, harsh and broken.

Hinata blinked again, a little bit of light leaking back into his eyes. "Kageyama? Are...are we at a match?"

Kageyama shook his head, the words jamming up in his throat.

"Did...did I get hit by a spike again? Is that why everyone's upset?"

Kageyama shook his head.

The little bit of comprehension that had returned dulled, faded. "I...I don't know what's going on..."

Kageyama didn't know, either, so he couldn't tell him.

His mouth opened anyway. "You're going to be all right. Just keep your eyes open."

Of course that was when Hinata started to turn green, his face wrenching up. Kageyama shuffled to the side and tried to support Hinata's torso as he bent over and threw up on the ground. He could feel Hinata swaying, the weakness in his trembling limbs as he tried to hold himself up, tried to keep from face-planting into his own vomit. Kageyama wrapped an arm around his chest and kept that from happening. It was the least he could do.

"Ugh." Hinata moaned, trying to straighten up from his bent position. His head fell back against Kageyama, weak as a baby bird's. "That hurt."

Somehow Kageyama managed to maneuver them around so that they sat with their backs against the wall, Kageyama's arms still around Hinata's middle, Hinata's head leaning back into the dip between Kageyama's upper arm and chest. He couldn't watch Hinata's face this way, couldn't make sure he was following instructions and keeping his eyes open. But Hinata instantly relaxed against him, a soft sigh sliding out, and that was enough for the moment.

A hand landed on Kageyama's shoulder and he looked up, startled to realize that there was still a world outside the two of them. Suga, his kind, encouraging face not quite hiding his fear. "Tsukishima and Yamaguchi went to get security and find Takeda-sensei to take him to the hospital. They'll be back soon. Everything will be all right."

"Yeah." They both knew that wasn't a certainty, but he liked hearing it in Suga-san's voice. "Will you talk to him? Keep him awake."

"Of course."

Suga picked his way over their sprawling legs to kneel next to Hinata, immediately engaging him in a soft, one-sided conversation that Kageyama couldn't bear to listen to. Instead his eyes slipped away, taking in the world he'd been ignoring.

The thugs who had done this cowered against the wall opposite where Kageyama sat, corralled by Nishinoya and Asahi. The look of terror on Asahi's face would be mistaken for rage by anyone who didn't know him. The look on Nishinoya's face, though... Kageyama had never seen that look on his face before. That wasn't a game face. That was real.

Captain Daichi still held on to Tanaka, both arms wrapped around him. He wasn't holding him back anymore, though. He was just holding on. Tanaka had deflated from his murderous rage, reduced to angry, helpless tears. Any other time it would have been embarrassing, but now... He was just expressing what the rest of them couldn't.

"How could you?" he kept saying. "How could you do that?"

Kageyama couldn't see what had happened to Hinata's little classmate. Part of him hoped that Shimizu and Yachi were looking after her. Most of him didn't care.

His eyes traveled on their own, back and up, back to those disgusting third-years. He found the guy responsible right away, blood still oozing out of his nose from Tanaka's punch, red smears on his cheeks and the back of his hand from trying to wipe it off. The smirk was still firmly in place as he watched Tanaka shake in the captain's arms. Kageyama wished he could erase that smirk himself, but he needed to stay where he was.

Kageyama's eyes narrowed as he took in the stupid punk. His greasy hair, his torn uniform, his dirty fingers with their too-big knuckles and broken nails. His ground his teeth, remembering those ugly things buried in Hinata's fiery locks. Wrong. Evil. Not supposed to happen. Never supposed to happen.

"You," Kageyama blurted, the single word like the bark of a dog. Or the cry of a crow.

The punk looked at him, and something in Kageyama's eyes made him quail for an instant, shrinking back against the wall. Then he gathered himself and glared back, more sullenly than defiantly.

Kageyama's glower deepened. His arms tightened around Hinata, causing the smaller boy to grunt. He tried to loosen up, then, but couldn't manage it. Hinata's hands rose and grabbed onto the arm wrapped around his chest, and only then did some of the tension leak out of Kageyama's tightly-coiled body.

Only some of it, though.

"You," he said again, as harsh as an insult. A hundred questions raced through his head, but once again all the words had jammed up in his throat. There was only one thing he could say.

"Why?"

_Why? Why did you act in such an unforgivable manner? Why did you use violence against a boy half your size? Why was the power and strength in your limbs used for evil instead of anything else, anything at all? Why did you hurt my friend?_

Kageyama's fingers tightened in the cloth of Hinata's shirt. _My friend._

That disgusting smirk slipped back onto the punk's face. He was cool and self-assured again, no longer intimidated by the wrath of the entire volleyball club focused directly on him.

"Why?" He raised his chin so that he was looking even further down his nose at Kageyama and Hinata, sitting on the floor. The blood on his face gave his expression a terrible, demonic cast.

"Because his voice annoyed me."


	2. Chapter 2

Where was Takeda-sensei? As the minutes ticked by and the adults who could take care of this did not appear, Kageyama tensed up more and more. He could no longer stand to look at those thugs, preferring to let the senpai deal with them. Daichi had taken Tanaka off somewhere slightly removed to cool down, and Suga still knelt next to Hinata, talking softly, occasionally eliciting a "hmm" or an "oh" from the injured boy.

As time wore on and Kageyama's agitation rose, so did Hinata's. His breathing became ragged, coming in soft little panting moans. His fingers clenched and unclenched in Kageyama's sleeve.

"I don't..." His weary voice interrupted whatever Suga was saying, and Suga shut up, listening intently. "What..."

"You had an accident," Suga said. "Don't worry. You'll be fine."

_It wasn't an accident,_ Kageyama thought, but he said nothing.

Hinata painted weakly, chest heaving under Kageyama's arm. "I don't... understand..."

"Just stay calm, all right?" Suga had been holding a cloth to Hinata's forehead, trying to stop the bleeding without putting too much pressure on the wound. Now he raised his other hand and started petting Hinata's head, slender fingers carefully sifting through the messy orange. These fingers, Kageyama didn't mind. "We will take care of everything. Be still and relax."

But the pain had fully kicked in now, previously buried under a thick layer of shock and confusion. Hinata's legs moved restlessly as he struggled to deal with the waves pouring over him. "Suga-san... Where's Kageyama? I thought he was here earlier..."

A shadow of worry crept over Suga's face, and he opened his mouth to respond. But Kageyama growled. "Oi," he said, more gruffly than he'd intended. He squeezed Hinata's chest, making his breath hitch. "I'm right here, dumbass."

Suga tsked, but Hinata puffed out a sigh of relief, melting back into Kageyama's side. "Oh, right. I forgot."

"Dumbass," Kageyama said again, and he bit his tongue to keep from saying more.

Hinata chuckled, then went still. "Ouch."

Kageyama glanced guiltily at Suga, expecting a scolding look, but Suga smiled at him. His eyes were soft and relieved. "Thank you," he murmured.

Kageyama blinked. He hadn't done anything worthy of thanks. Calling Hinata a dumbass was completely natural.

Suga went back to talking to Hinata, and Kageyama quit paying attention. This conversation repeated itself several times. Hinata would get agitated or distracted by the pain in his head and forget where he was and who he was with, and Suga would remind him, sometimes backed up by Kageyama.

Suga's patience seemed infinite, but by the fourth or fifth reiteration, Kageyama was just done. He had long ago passed through the trembling limbs and swirling stomach of an adrenaline let-down, his butt hurt from sitting on the floor, and Hinata's head was cutting off the circulation to his arm. He wanted to get Hinata to a doctor already and get this fixed so they could go back to playing volleyball. He wanted to never, ever think again about that horrible, sickening moment when Hinata's head hit the wall.

When the adults finally showed up, it was all at once. The security patrol-a couple of volunteer parents with batons-came jogging to the scene, followed by the vice-principal, puffing and blowing. Immediately behind them were Takeda-sensei and Coach Ukai. Takeda was flushed and overwhelmed, and Coach Ukai looked about ready to blow his top and scream at everything and everyone. Kageyama even caught a glimpse of Tsukishima and Yamaguchi in the back of the thundering herd. Yamaguchi seemed to be near tears, and even Tsukishima was atypically concerned.

It got very noisy. The vice-principal demanded to know what was going on, obviously ready to blame the volleyball club for everything, and Tanaka tried to explain what he'd witnessed, still dashing away tears. It didn't go very well. In fact, it went pretty badly. Both voices escalated to screams in mere seconds, and Daichi ended up holding on to Tanaka again while Coach Ukai tried to intervene on their behalf.

The thugs being taken into custody snickered and sneered. Kageyama had to bite his lip to keep from adding to the cacophony. Dammit, he just wanted to punch them all. Every last one of them. The punks for doing this, his team for not fixing it instantly, the teachers for not being there to stop it, and even Hinata for being in the wrong place at the wrong time. It wasn't fair, but that was how he felt, and it was damn hard to keep it all inside. Hinata grunted when Kageyama's grip around his chest tightened again.

Then Takeda appeared beside them, crouching down and holding out his hand. His eyes were moist, but his face was set and determined. "Let's get out of here. Can you get him on his feet? My car is right outside."

Suga and Kageyama worked together to get Hinata up, swaying and gulping down nausea, and supported him between them as they escaped with all haste. Takeda led the way through the crowd, somehow managing to slice a path even with his small frame and normally gentle presence. In that moment he was a tower of authority, and the students who had gathered to stare and gossip let him through without a word.

Hinata bobbed and wobbled between Kageyama and Suga, barely supporting any of his own weight, groaning in pain when they jostled him too much. "Sorry, sorry," Suga murmured, but he didn't seem to be paying as much attention as Kageyama would have expected. His head kept swiveling back to look at the shouting mass behind them.

They reached Takeda's little car, and Kageyama got into the backseat first, reaching out for Hinata to draw him inside while Takeda hurried around to the driver's door. Suga carefully lowered Hinata down onto the seat, practically into Kageyama's arms. They propped Hinata up against the backrest, but he immediately started to slide sideways, so Kageyama put an arm around his shoulders again to hold him up.

Suga was bent over with his head inside the car, looking at the two of them. He made no move to get inside, himself. He glanced back at the school again.

"Come on," Kageyama said. "We gotta go."

Suga smiled apologetically. "I really...I really ought to go talk to the vice-principal. I was standing right behind you and Tanaka-I saw what happened. He might believe me."

Kageyama didn't doubt that that was true. Suga was eminently trustworthy and believable, and everyone knew it. Still, panic pulsed in his throat and made his arm tighten around Hinata in reflexive alarm. "No, please, I really need you to come with us. Hinata is so confused and...you're good at talking to him."

Suga waved a hand. "You'll be all right. He trusts you too, you know. Just remind him that he's safe and you're with him, and everything will be fine."

"Suga-san, please..." _Don't leave me alone with this._

Another shout from the school-audible even from here-had Suga looking back again. Kageyama wasn't sure, but he thought maybe that was Coach Ukai's voice. And that would mean that things had gotten even worse, though that didn't seem possible.

Suga gave him one more encouraging smile. "I'm sorry. We'll come to the hospital as soon as possible, all right? Just do your best to keep him calm and awake. I'll see you soon."

"Suga..."

But Suga had already shut the door and was hurrying away. Takeda glanced at him in the rear-view mirror. "Are you all right, Kageyama-kun?"

Kageyama realized that he was sweating. He bent his head to wipe his temple on his shoulder. "I'll be fine." He had to be. Takeda put the car in drive and pulled out, driving as quickly and carefully as he could.

_Do your best._ Kageyama didn't really know what those words meant outside the context of volleyball. He did his best on the court. He did his best when serving, when blocking and receiving, when making a perfect toss so one of his teammates could score. None of that was worth anything right now.

But once again, when it came to relating with other people, Suga had shown him the way. If Kageyama couldn't follow the excellent example he'd been observing just minutes ago, he really was an idiot.

Kageyama looked at Hinata and caught him in the middle of a slow blink, his head lolling back on the seat. "Oi." He started to shake him by the shoulders, but thought better of it. "Don't fall asleep, dumbass."

"But I'm tired," Hinata said, soft and pleading. "I want to sleep."

"No. Don't you dare."

This wasn't working. He couldn't keep a close enough eye on Hinata like this. Kageyama considered for a moment, then tugged on Hinata's shoulders, levering him away from the seat. At least the wound on his forehead had stopped bleeding, though the entire area seemed to be turning a disturbing shade of purple.

"What...what are you doing..."

"It's okay." Kageyama rearranged the way Hinata sat, for once grateful that the other boy was so small. It made him much easier to handle. He finally got Hinata sitting sideways on the bench seat, leaning against the back cushion on his shoulder. Kageyama sat sideways, too, facing him, still holding his shoulders to keep him still. There. Now he could watch Hinata's face and make sure he didn't close his eyes.

He was pretty sure that he'd heard that you weren't supposed to let people with concussions fall asleep, and Suga had acted like that was important, too. But really...he just couldn't quite push away the idea that if Hinata fell asleep, he might never wake up again.

He couldn't let that happen.

Another too-slow blink. "Oi, Hinata." Kageyama squeezed his shoulders, and Hinata opened his eyes wide again, staring back at him. His face was slack and drawn with pain and...his pupils didn't look right. Kageyama drew in a sharp breath and did his best to not freak out.

What would Suga say?

"You're going to be all right," Kageyama said firmly, giving a decisive nod.

"You keep saying that." Hinata waved a hand lazily in the air between them. "Hey, what's going on? Why are you being so nice to me?"

Dammit, how far was it to the hospital? Kageyama couldn't do this, he couldn't, he didn't know how...

Kageyama closed his eyes for a moment, screwing up his courage, and looked at Hinata again. "You had an accident. Suga told you, remember?"

He wasn't going to tell him that someone had done this to him. He wasn't an idiot. He knew why Suga hadn't told Hinata-over and over again as he kept forgetting-that a greasy-fingered piece-of-shit punk had slammed his head into a wall. He was doing his best to keep Hinata calm, not scare him with a horror story.

"Suga-san was here?" Hinata glanced around, but didn't try to lift his head from the back cushion. It must be hurting him pretty badly.

"Yes. He'll come see you later, too. Everyone will come."

"Oh." Hinata's voice was tiny, almost impossible to hear over the rumble of the car. "Everyone was upset."

"Yes. We didn't like it when you got hurt."

"I'm sorry."

Kageyama's vision blurred and he had to look away. Dammit. _Dammit._ He felt the muscles of his jaw bunch up as he clenched his teeth, trying to hold it all in. Why... Why? The reason the punk had given was no reason at all. How could a thing like this happen?

"Kageyama?" Again that tiny voice. Hinata's voice had never been so small, never.

Kageyama made himself look back to him. Hinata's eyes were wide and worried. Dammit, he wasn't doing a great job of keeping him calm.

He pulled in a breath. "Yeah?"

"Are you mad at me? Did I screw up?"

Kageyama's fingers tightened on Hinata's shoulders, tighter and tighter, and he struggled for breath, for words. His vision was blurring again and... Dammit, it was all so awful.

"No," he choked out at last. "You didn't do anything wrong. It was just an accident."

"Oh. I'm glad."

Hinata's shoulders relaxed under Kageyama's hands. He even smiled, the little dumbass. A gross, wet chuckle ripped out of Kageyama's throat.

"You're going to be all right," he said.

It had to be true. It just had to be.

And Hinata just kept smiling, small but full, lighting up his whole face. "Because you're here."

Kageyama's brain halted. "...What?"

"I'll be all right because as long as you're here, I'm invincible."

Kageyama couldn't breathe.

Hinata blinked, leaning a little harder against the cushion. He was confused and dazed and utterly out of it, yet completely certain and sincere at the same time. There was no doubt on his face, no fear, no hesitation. "That's right, isn't it? That's what you said."

Another thousand thoughts sped through Kageyama's mind. _That was in volleyball, you dumbass. It was about hitting spikes and dodging blockers. It had nothing to do with getting your head slammed into a wall by the king of all dirtbags. I don't know why you trust me so much, so much that even with your brain shorting out on you and your body refusing to work, still you somehow believe that I can fix everything just by being here. That's ridiculous and stupid and I can't believe it's happening. You're the dumbest dumbass ever to dumb your way into my life, and I don't get you and I don't get this and I hate it, I hate it so much._

All that came out of his mouth was, "Right. That's what I said."

And Hinata smiled.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Listen, guys, if in you're in a situation with someone who's been hit in the head and is acting like Hinata-confused, dazed, uncoordinated, unable to retain information (as well as a bunch of other symptoms you can look up later)-do NOT move them. Call an ambulance and keep them still until it arrives. We can handwave Kageyama and Suga as not knowing any better, but Takeda really should have, especially as an adult working with kids who do sports. Chalk it up to panic in the moment and just wanting to get poor injured Hinata AWAY from an area where people were screaming at each other about what happened to HIM. Anyway, yeah, part of the fall-out of this incident is probably that the Karasuno volleyball club is going to take first aid classes. Voluntarily. Even though it's a little late.

PS: This is not a deathfic. Sorry if I scared you.

* * *

Once they arrived at the hospital, things happened quickly again. Takeda stopped at the emergency entrance and told Kageyama to stay with Hinata while he ran inside to get help. In what seemed like seconds, a team of paramedics ran out and took over. They put some weird thing on Hinata's head to hold him still and put him on a backboard. It was stupid and Kageyama tried to fight the feeling, but it seemed like they were ripping Hinata out of his hands. There was nothing else he could do-the adults were in charge now and they barely said a word to him, entirely focused on Hinata. Kageyama followed after the gurney as they ran it into the hospital like a scrap of paper pulled along in the wake of a speeding car, unwilling to be left behind but unsure of what he was supposed to do now.

Inside the door, Takeda-sensei snagged his shoulder and pulled him away, preventing him from following Hinata through the thick, mysterious metal doors that led further into the hospital. Kageyama let himself be led, feeling strangely adrift. He no longer needed to keep watching Hinata's eyes, keep coming up with things to say and answers to his strange, wondering comments, keep squeezing his shoulders or his chest to remind him of where he was and who was there. For the first time since Hinata's head hit the wall, he didn't know where he was supposed to be.

"Now, now," Takeda patted his shoulder, steering him toward a lounge with chairs and tables and magazines. "Let's sit down, all right? You must be exhausted. You worked very hard to help Hinata, and it must have worn you out."

"All I did was talk to him." Kageyama shook his head, still at a loss. Takeda's hands pushed him toward a chair, gently pressing him down, and his knees locked, keeping him upright. His hands bunched into fists at his sides, and he couldn't look up from the floor. "All-all I did..."

"Eh?" Takeda paused beside him, a hand still on his shoulder. Then he moved around in front of Kageyama, craning his head to look into Kageyama's bowed face. "What are you saying, Kageyama-kun?"

Kageyama felt his fingernails bite into his palm as he squeezed his fist. "All I did was talk. And I wasn't even good at it." His vision was blurring again.

"Now, now..."

Kageyama pressed a hand to his face, desperately trying to hide. Everything rose up inside him at once, everything he'd been pushing back and pushing down, refusing to feel, refusing to allow. It was like a giant wave looming over him, about to crash. He could see it coming and he didn't know how to stop it. It was going to bury him, crush him, destroy him completely.

"That, that _punk..."_ He spread his fingers wide enough to look at Takeda through them. The pads of his fingertips pressed hard into his cheeks and forehead, as if the pressure and the slight pain could act as a mask, a lid, holding it all in. "That piece-of-shit _bastard_ almost killed Hinata, almost killed him, could have killed him right there, could _still_ kill him... And-and I wasn't there, I didn't stop it, no one was there, no one stopped it! Why didn't anyone stop it? I-I saw his head hit the wall, and-and I couldn't stop it!"

To his horror, the tears started to leak out, overflowing, escaping his frantic efforts to dam them back. His face screwed up in a grimace behind his pressing hand, and they flowed over and out, staining his fingers and painting his cheeks, and it was so stupid, it was so stupid, but he couldn't make it stop. His chest felt like it was going to burst. He could barely breathe. And still he stood there, practically screaming at his sensei in a hospital lounge, and he didn't know how to make it _stop._

"And he still trusts me," he choked out, the words slipping away from him, escaping his attempts to hold them back, just like the tears. "He still thinks I can fix it. He's such a _dumbass._ Why? Why does he think that? Why is he so stupid? Why is everything so _horrible?"_

Then there were arms around him, thin but strong, and Takeda-sensei was pulling Kageyama's head down to his shoulder. After a moment of stiff-necked confusion, Kageyama allowed it, though he could not bring himself to respond in kind. He simply stood there and endured, gulping, trying to stuff it all down again and not succeeding at all.

"I'm very sorry that this happened to you and your friend, Kageyama." Takeda's voice was soft but clear, only centimeters from his ear. His deep sigh ruffled Kageyama's hair. "What happened to Hinata was a horrible, terrible thing, and you are right to be upset about it. Of course you are. You have nothing to be ashamed of. It must have been awful to see it happen so close to you and still be unable to prevent it.

"But I want you to listen to me and try to understand something, all right? This thing, this terrible thing that happened... It's what can be called a 'random act of violence.' It did not make sense. It had no warning before it. No one could have seen it coming, and no one could have stopped it from happening. Perhaps even the horrible person who committed that crime didn't realize what he was going to do until he actually did it.

"Though there is a human being responsible for it, you must think of it as being different than a conscious act. It was like an earthquake or a tsunami or a hurricane. It happened and it passed, and all we can do now is try to mitigate the damage. You could not have stopped it. You must not take that burden on yourself."

Kageyama breathed. The air pushed in and out of his lungs, shaking his body. The hand pressed to his face began to tremble, and then it fell, caught between him and Takeda. Then his whole body began to shake, lightly, like a flimsy house in a too-strong wind. He had to let it pass through him. He had to let it pass through and then it would go.

Takeda's voice lightened a bit. "Also, I think it's a wonderful thing that Hinata trusts you so completely. I couldn't hear everything you said to each other in the car, but I know he was very confused and frightened by what was happening to him, and because you were there he felt much, much better. You may think that it didn't make sense, that you didn't do anything to deserve it, but that's not how Hinata sees it. Your presence made this bad situation more bearable for him, and that's not something you should disregard or think lightly of. You did more than just talk to him. You were there for him. That's important."

Kageyama blew out a breath, and the wind finally passed through.

When Kageyama's body had relaxed more fully, Takeda gave him one last squeeze, then stepped back. He turned away for a second, wiping his face with the back of his hand, then looked back to Kageyama with a shaky but sincere smile. "All right. How about you sit down now? I'll get you something to drink from the vending machine. What would you like?"

Kageyama shook his head, unable to come up with an opinion about such a trivial matter. He sat down, though. At the last second his legs seemed to give way and he all but fell into the chair. Takeda was pulling out his cell phone as he turned to the side, looking around for a vending machine. Kageyama watched him blankly, too weary to be curious, but Takeda smiled and tilted his head toward the phone, explaining anyway.

"I already called Hinata's family. His mother and little sister will be here soon. But I think I should call a few others, as well. Will your parents be able to come? You need someone here."

Kageyama shook his head. "They both work during the day. And I'm fine. I don't need anyone. I wasn't the one who got hurt."

Takeda gave him a doubtful look. "That's not quite true," he said gently.

Kageyama just shook his head again. "You should call Tanaka-senpai's family. He took it really hard."

"That's a good idea. Thank you. I'm sure he and the rest of the team will be here soon."

_If they can escape the clutches of the vice-principal,_ Kageyama thought. That man really had it out for them.

"Ah, there it is." Takeda spotted a sign for vending machines down the hall. "I'll be right back. I'll bring you a milk box, all right?"

Kageyama made a noise that could be taken as affirmative, and Takeda moved off. As soon as he was gone, Kageyama rested his elbows on his knees and buried his face in his hands. For as long as he could, he would stay here, sheltering in his private darkness. It was better than no shelter at all.

Of course, it couldn't last long.

"Pardon me, did you come in with Hinata Shouyou?"

Kageyama hadn't heard anyone approaching, but suddenly someone was speaking to him from half a meter away. He opened his hands enough to see shoes on the floor in front of him. Sensible, rubber-soled hospital shoes, not athletic shoes. He lowered his hands and looked up. A woman in a nurse's uniform stood there, watching him expectantly.

Kageyama scrubbed his hands over his face, trying to rub some alertness back into his brain by main force, and nodded. He didn't have it in him to be more polite at the moment.

"Do you know where his parents are?"

"No." Kageyama cleared his throat. "They're...coming. Is there news?" He couldn't help the note of hopefulness that lifted his voice at the end. Maybe Hinata was okay. Maybe everything was fixed and it all would be better soon.

The nurse gave him a sympathetic look. It was almost more than Kageyama could bear. "We need to do some tests. The machines are busy right now so it will be some time before we can get him in."

"Oh." Kageyama lowered his head, watching her shoes again.

The shoes started to turn away, heading back into the hospital, where Kageyama wasn't supposed to go. Then they hesitated and turned back, stopping in front of him again.

Kageyama looked up, eyebrows raising.

The nurse looked somewhat nervous, but determined. "Are you Kageyama-kun?"

"Yeah." He couldn't imagine where she was going with this.

"Hinata-kun has been asking for you. Will you come with me?"

Kageyama was on his feet before she finished speaking, his nerves buzzing, fatigue washing away. "Yeah." Hinata was asking for him. He had no more time to wallow in solitary misery.

She nodded gently and led the wa, through those mysterious doors, deep into the emergency section. Kageyama didn't look around. He didn't want to even think about what else might be happening here.

"I was sent to ask for Hinata's parents because he is quite confused and upset," the nurse said. "We're trying to keep him calm, but there's a limit to what strangers can do. He's been mentioning your name and asking where you are repeatedly. I don't want to burden you with this, but if you can help, it would be greatly appreciated."

"I'll do my best."

The nurse looked back to give him a smile. "I'm sure you will." She stopped by a curtained-off alcove and turned to face him, her expression turning serious. "Listen. Your teacher told us about his symptoms, which it seems you have been witnessing since the accident happened. Some of them may have gotten better, but some may have gotten worse. A doctor might want to talk to you for your observations. But the most important thing is to help Hinata feel better. Try to talk to him about ordinary things and keep his mind off how scary his situation is right now."

Kageyama nodded, slow and solemn. All he would have to do is mention volleyball and they would have plenty to talk about that had nothing to do with hospitals and head injuries.

"But also..." The nurse's forehead bent with concern. "If it gets to be too overwhelming, let us know, all right? We'll give you a break or find some other way to handle it. I'm sorry to ask so much of you."

Kageyama huffed in exasperation. "I'll be fine." Seriously, why were people so worried about _him?_ He wasn't the one trapped in a bad-smelling hospital room, waiting for treatment. He wasn't the one who had gotten his head slammed into a wall. He wasn't the one who had been victimized by a "random act of violence."

She simply nodded and pushed the curtain aside. Hinata was inside, lying in a tiny bed with blankets pulled up to his chin, his head still immobilized. His eyes widened when he spotted Kageyama, bright and shining despite the rings of fatigue around them. And an instant smile blossomed and grew, seeming to crowd out everything else in that little alcove. "Kageyama! I knew you were here. Where did you go?"

Kageyama stepped up next to the bed, leaning against it on one hip so he could look in Hinata's face. Was his memory getting better, then? That had to be a good sign. "Sorry. I had some stuff to do. But I'm back now and I won't go anywhere."

"Okay, okay. Good." Hinata's hand fumbled out from under the blankets covering him. He found Kageyama's sleeve and grabbed on, knuckles turning white. "Good. I'd rather you didn't."

Kageyama nodded. A hard little knot of anxiety between his shoulder blades loosened and fell away. He hadn't even noticed its arrival. Must have been right around when Hinata first disappeared from his sight.

Didn't matter now. It was gone.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: I know that "Mrs." in Japanese is -san, but I'm using some English honorifics to ease the reading. I hope it's not jarring for you.

* * *

By the time Kageyama returned to the lounge, almost everyone was there. Takeda-sensei saw him first, jumping up from where he'd been sitting next to Coach Ukai. He was still holding a milk box. Kageyama knew it would be barely cool anymore, but he accepted it when Takeda held it out.

The others noticed the movement and looked up, some more quickly than others. Nishinoya jumped to his feet, abandoning his seat between Asahi and Suga, and stepped forward with his fists clenched and his chin jutting out. Tanaka just lifted his head wearily and looked at him from where he sat in the corner, bent over onto himself. His sister Saeko sat next to him, rubbing his back in big, firm circles. Daichi and Coach Ukai both opened their mouths, but Kageyama already knew what they were going to ask.

He shook his head, answering the unvoiced questions. "We don't know yet."

Everyone slumped or sat back in disappointment. Takeda stood still, watching Kageyama's face without wavering. "Any change?"

Kageyama rubbed a hand over his face. "Toward the end his memory seemed better." He glanced at Suga, who looked back at him with some version of calm, though his jaw was tight. "He stopped needing us to remind him that he'd had an accident. I think he still doesn't know what really happened, but he knows that we're all worried about him. He remembers that we were all upset and that Suga-san stayed with him for a while. He feels bad for making us unhappy, even though I told him not to."

Takeda shook his head and patted Kageyama's shoulder, guiding him to sit down next to Yachi and Shimizu. This time Kageyama obeyed. YachI leaned into his side, sniffling, and Shimizu caressed her head. Kageyama fumbled with his milk box for a moment, though his stomach churned and he wasn't sure he wanted to drink it.

"What's going on now?" Ukai asked.

"They're getting tests done. His mom and little sister are with him, so he's not alone." They had practically forced him out to "take a break for a while, Kageyama-kun," saying that he looked like he was about to fall over. He believed them-he certainly felt like he was about to fall over.

"Yeah, we saw them come in," Nishinoya said. He slouched down on the padded bench, elbows akimbo. Asahi and Suga endured his jutting angles with a wrinkled forehead and a tolerant look, respectively. "Mrs. Hinata seems really kind."

Kageyama nodded. "She is." Hinata's mother had been a bit of a surprise. He'd always suspected that Hinata's parents had to be just as crazy and full of energy as he was, but Mrs. Hinata turned out to be beautiful and calm, one of the most dignified women Kageyama had ever met. Her smile was swift and sweet and always showed in her eyes, and her voice was soothing and steady. Hinata had settled down a great deal as soon as she came in the room.

_It must be nice having a mother like that,_ Kageyama thought, hesitantly sipping his drink. He could see how that would be important for someone like Hinata, a strong and sturdy foundation that he could always depend on. Hinata needed stability, a firm surface for him to perform his ridiculous leaps off of. Mrs. Hinata provided that in the best possible way.

"Hinata's sister was so cute," Yachi said. With half her face pressed against his upper arm, Kageyama could feel the watery smile struggling to emerge on her face. "They must be amazingly adorable together."

Kageyama nodded. He had, in fact, been unable to stop staring at the tiny girl for what had seemed like minutes on end when Mrs. Hinata first entered the room with the little one in her arms and talked to the nurses for a bit. The girl just looked so exactly like a miniature version of her big brother that he hadn't been able to belIeve that there wasn't magic or time travel involved somehow. "Her name is Natsu."

"Natsu-chan." Yachi sighed. "That's perfect."

Natsu had not appreciated Kageyama staring at her. When Mrs. Hinata stepped toward the bed to touch her son's cheek, still carrying her, Natsu had taken the opportunity to smack Kageyama on the arm just as hard as she could. Kageyama barely felt it through the sleeve of his jacket, but he still gaped at her in baffled shock.

For a moment the alcove was utterly silent as the nurses, Hinatas, and Kageyama all tried to figure out how to respond to this development. Then Hinata Shouyou's clear giggle pealed like a bell, and he held out his arms to his sister, letting go of Kageyama's sleeve for the first time since the nurse brought him in.

"Natsu! You can't hurt Kageyama-san! Who will I play volleyball with if you kill him?"

"Me!" she declared fiercely. She reached back to Hinata, wiggling her fingers in frustration when he remained just out of reach and leaning so far over in her mother's arms that she almost toppled onto the bed.

At the nod from a nurse, Mrs. Hinata let Natsu down onto the bed next to her brother. Natsu immediately snuggled into Hinata's side and wrapped an arm around him as far as it would go, glaring at Kageyama all the while. She couldn't have screamed _MINE!_ more loudly if she'd done it in words.

Kageyama held her gaze for a moment, then abruptly looked away to a corner of the ceiling. He worked very hard to convince himself that he hadn't been about to get into an intimidation contest with a little girl who might not even be in school yet. Mrs. Hinata hid a smile behind her hand, but it sparkled in her eyes, and Hinata just grinned, weary but content.

For the rest of the time Kageyama was in the room, Hinata called him _san,_ which was weird until Kageyama figured out that he was trying to influence Natsu to see him in a better light. It might have even worked eventually, but right now, in a strange place surrounded by strange people with her beloved nii-chan not quite himself, Natsu was having none of it. Her narrowed eyes and pinched expression followed Kageyama wherever he went.

It was almost a relief to be kicked out, honestly. Almost.

"Kageyama, you're smiling." Tanaka Saeko's warm voice chased him out of his reverie, and Kageyama blinked, momentarily disoriented. She smirked at him from across the room, but this smirk was nothing like the ones on the punks at school. It was teasing and affectionate, sharp-edged with a bite but not in the least malicious. "Care to share what caused this unique occasion?"

Kageyama huffed and leaned over to put his milk box on the floor, careful not to dislodge Yachi's head from his arm. "Natsu is cute."

"We knew _that."_ Even Suga's expression was lighter now. "What exactly did she do to make you smile like that?"

Kageyama slumped back in his chair. They were all looking at him so hopefully. He'd never felt attention quite like this focused on him.

They all needed a moment a levity, he realized. His team had all been worrying and hurting and struggling, just as Kageyama and Hinata had been. He'd felt alone and terribly scared the entire time, fighting with every tool he had available to him to keep Hinata awake, alert, focused on something besides the suffering in his body and mind. And all that time, everyone else in the Karasuno volleyball club had been pulling for him, wishing and hoping for a positive outcome. It was just like in a game when they all strained together for a common goal, only this time they had been separate, unable to see each other. Their unity had been no less powerful for all that.

The least he could do was give them a moment of relief, even at his own expense. Slowly, in halting words, Kageyama told them about Hinata's little sister and her instant animosity toward him. He wasn't good at telling stories, but he did his best. And his team laughed, and the mood of the room lifted immeasurably, and it was worth it.

"It's too bad she never came to a match," said Nishinoya. "Can you imagine if she met Aone? How would that even work?"

Daichi folded his arms across his chest. "It's still weird that that guy made friends with Hinata. It's like a wolf making friends with a chipmunk."

Shimizu giggled behind her hand, which made Nishinoya and Tanaka perk up. And they were off, talking about Hinata and the weird things that happened to him at matches. There were a lot of them, actually.

"He really does always run into scary dudes in the bathrooms," Tanaka mused. "Maybe we should do something about that."

Kageyama scowled. "I'm not going with him to the toilet."

"Who said anything about it being you?" Nishinoya said. "We could take turns. _I'll_ look out for Shouyou-chan." He puffed out his chest and pointed his thumb at it.

"At least take Asahi along as backup, then," Tanaka said.

Asahi waved his hands. "Hey, hey, leave me out of this!"

"You're such a wimp!" Nishinoya punched him in the side. Asahi winced and rubbed the spot where he'd been hit.

Kageyama grunted. "It's not that big a deal. They're just other volleyball players. None of them really mean any harm."

A moment of silence fell, the mood shifting from lighthearted to serious again. Kageyama stared at the floor. It was true. Some of their opponents in volleyball could be annoying or intimidating, but they were all basically decent guys who loved the same sport the Karasuno team did-they just happened to be from other schools, other regions. When they said, "We'll smash you to pieces" or "I'll crush you completely," they meant on the court, in a game.

The guy who did this to Hinata... He wasn't the same at all. He wasn't decent. There was nothing redeeming about him. He had meant harm to Hinata, and he'd done it.

Kageyama looked up, catching Daichi's eye. "What happened with the vice-principal?" Did they still have a gym? Were they still even a club?

Daichi groaned and covered his face with his hands. Suga patted his back, grimacing sympathetically.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Kageyama demanded.

"It didn't go well," Coach Ukai said, bending his head back to look at Kageyama around the people between them. "Tanaka is suspended for a week."

"And Coach Ukai almost got banned from the school grounds," Tanaka said, giving the coach a hurt look at being outed so bluntly.

"I didn't, though." Ukai gave him a wolfish grin.

"Now, now, don't fight. Neither of you are any better than the other." Takeda patted the air between them. Tanaka and Ukai looked smug. "Because you were both terrible." Their faces fell. "Sugawara saved the day, as usual."

Suga smiled painfully. "I only told the truth."

"But you told it well. That counts for a lot." Takeda looked at Kageyama. "There won't be any consequences for the volleyball club besides Tanaka's suspension. He's not even banned from club activities for a month like Nishinoya was."

Tanaka's hand clenched into a fist. "I didn't even deserve that, though."

"You punched another student in the nose," Saeko said, smacking him lightly on the shoulder. "I'm not saying you shouldn't have done it, but of course there's a consequence for that. Wear it proudly as a badge of honor for defending your kouhai."

Tanaka sat up straighter, nodding firmly.

"But what about the guy who did this?" Kageyama asked. "That punk _bastard..."_

Several members of the team shifted uneasily. Kageyama scowled at them, not sure what to make of that.

"There's a meeting going on about that right now," Daichi explained. "The rest of the team is there to represent us. Ennoshita will speak for our wishes."

"Ennoshita?" Kageyama blinked. The second-year was steady and dependable, but he wouldn't have picked him for such a role. "But shouldn't you..."

Daichi shook his head. "I would not be able to speak well on this matter. I held it together in the hall because I had to, but in front of a group of people, trying to speak calmly about this... I wouldn't be able to do it."

Suga nodded. "None of us who are here would be able to. We must rely on Ennoshita."

There were several nods. Kageyama looked around, taking it in. His team. Hinata's team. They were all here together, waiting for news about their teammate and friend.

If he couldn't stay with Hinata for the moment, there was nowhere else Kageyama would rather be.


	5. Chapter 5

A some point Kageyama dozed off, slumping back in his chair with his head resting atop Yachi's, still on his shoulder. It was a light sleep, troubled and uneasy. There was a sensation of many faces, of movement and dark shadows on the walls. He was aware, even while asleep, that something was wrong. Hinata wasn't in the dream, but his presence loomed somewhere outside it, shifted askew from his normal sunniness, and that made the images all the more disconcerting. Still, he did not wake as from a nightmare, because he was also aware that he wasn't alone. His entire team was with him, facing the same shadows, the same darkness. They were on his side.

He woke to voices, a shift of mood. He opened his eyes and blinked, sitting up, to find that the rest of the team had arrived. Ennoshita was reporting to Daichi, standing straight as if at attention, though the captain remained sitting next to Suga. Their faces and voices were serious, but Kageyama had entered too late to catch the meaning of the words passing between them. Yachi stirred when he moved, yawning and smacking her lips. Maybe she had dozed off, too.

"What happened?" Kageyama blurted, interrupting whatever the two senpai had been saying. Daichi and Ennoshita both looked over to him. Neither seemed upset at the rudeness. That was... Kageyama sat back, intensely bothered. That was sympathy on their faces. Why were they looking at _him_ with such sympathetic eyes?

"I apologize," Ennoshita said, calm as ever, though something else lurked in his expression. His mouth opened to say more, but he halted for a moment as if lost for words.

"Why?" Kageyama asked. "Why are you apologizing? Why are you hesitating? Did the meeting go that poorly for us?"

"It could have gone better," Ennoshita said.

"But it also could have gone worse," Daichi countered. He faced Kageyama. "In an ideal world, Isao would have been expelled. Instead, he's been suspended for two weeks and is on restrictions."

_Isao..._ Kageyama tucked the name away to remember. His heart pounded, his hands clenched, and he lurched up from his chair and automatically spread his stance as if preparing for a fight. Yachi squeaked when her head fell off his shoulder. He stood there, panting, his face burning hot. "Two weeks? Only twice as long as Tanaka?"

What kind of world did they live in, then?

Daichi stood, too, stepping forward to place a steadying hand on Kageyama's shoulder. He held his gaze, squeezing firmly, as if expecting some of his own solid, steady presence to transfer to Kageyama. "This is the world we live in," he said. "Isao's parents argued that it had only been a moment of bad judgment. It happened so quickly, after all. It was over and done in less than a second. In their words, it was an unfortunate incident, but they insisted that it should not jeopardize their son's future. Their arguments were persuasive."

"Over so quickly..." Kageyama stared at the ground.

Yes, it had happened quickly. Before Hinata's head hit the wall, Kageyama had been thinking of other things. So many other things. The upcoming match, the new quick he and Hinata had been practicing, the matches they had fought in the past and the things they had learned there. How Hinata still needed to work on his serve and his receive, and how Kageyama planned to practice his jump serve on his own after practice, at least a hundred times, because he needed to be better. They both needed to be better. They had little time and much to do. They couldn't waste a moment.

Then that punk..._Isao..._had attacked Hinata. It had been like a lightning bolt from a clear sky, splitting the world in two. Before the bolt hit, only volleyball filled Kageyama's thoughts. Afterward, volleyball vanished completely from his head. Things that had been very, very important suddenly meant nothing at all. It had been an awful shock, having all of that ripped away. Kageyama was still reeling from it.

"I apologize for the fact that my arguments were not persuasive enough," Ennoshita said.

Kageyama slowly raised his head, looking in their faces again. That was shame behind Ennoshita's calm expression. But Daichi...

Daichi's eyes were bright with rage. His hand on Kageyama's shoulder was firm and comforting, but the captain... He was pissed. Kageyama had never seen him so angry.

Tanaka was right. Daichi was scary when he was mad.

This anger was aimed outward, though. Kageyama could see that. He was not angry at Ennoshita or anyone on the team. He was angry at Isao, and he was angry at the world for allowing such a creature to exist within it.

Kageyama nodded briefly. At least his captain understood his feelings, then, and shared them.

Daichi's gaze shifted from Kageyama to Ennoshita. His other hand landed on Ennoshita's shoulder, firm and strong. "You did nothing wrong. You're a sixteen-year-old high school student and they are powerful members of the community. We should have expected that their strength would outstrip ours."

He gave their shoulders one last squeeze, then stepped back, looking around at the team as a whole. "It does not matter," he said, his voice ringing in the little lounge. "When Hinata returns to school, he will have nothing to fear, because we will not allow anything else to happen to him. No one will ever have a chance to hurt him. We are Karasuno. We are strong. We care for our own. Evil people may share the world we live in and even walk in the same halls we do, but they will not touch any of us. Never again."

Kageyama followed his gaze, looking around the room. Every face was set and determined. Many had their fists clenched or their arms crossed, holding tight. Even those faces that usually glowed with kindness, even those who were usually timid or faded into the background. Even Tsukishima, who had once been the embodiment of apathy. They were all firm in their resolve to make Daichi's words into reality.

Then Coach Ukai chuckled, looking down at his arms folded over his chest. "And here I was worried that you all would be discouraged by this development." He shifted forward and stood, smooth and casual, and crossed over to pat Daichi's shoulder. "I should have known better. Well spoken, captain."

He kept moving toward the door, then paused to look back at them. "Don't worry. This was only a warm-up before the real match. I'm going to make some calls. You all should know that you have powerful allies in the community, too. We'll show you what we can do."

He was so self-assured that none of them even thought about asking what he meant by that. He disappeared from the lounge, and Daichi stepped awkwardly back, rubbing his neck. Suga grabbed his sleeve and gave it a little tug, urging him to sit again, and he went. Kageyama sat next to Yachi. Ennoshita and the other newcomers found places to sit as well, though it necessitated some rearranging among the other members of the team. It was starting to get a bit cramped in here.

Kageyama looked around, then finally thought to rub his eyes, ridding them of the sleep-grit from his brief, troubled nap. "Did anything else happen while I was asleep?" he asked the room at large.

He wanted news about Hinata, of course. He wanted them to say that someone had come and told them that everything was fine and Hinata would be back at practice tomorrow and they could all go home with no worries. But they wouldn't all still be waiting here if that had happened.

Suga did brighten a bit at the question, though. "Hinata's father came out to greet us. He said Hinata never stops talking about the team when he's at home, and he was glad to finally have faces to put to names. It was nice to meet him."

"Did he have news, though?"

Suga shook his head, sitting back in his seat. "He said the doctors are analyzing the test results. We'll know soon."

Yachi yawned widely, not bothering to cover her mouth. "What was Mr. Hinata like?"

Nishinoya grinned, slow and wide. "Like an older, slightly taller, slightly quieter Shouyou-chan. He said he sells cars for a living. I bet he's really good at it."

"He was very personable." Suga nodded. "Of course he also seemed tired and worried..."

"And he was kind," Daichi said, before they could all follow that thought down and get lost in anxious silence again. They were all trying to keep the conversation light, keep it going, keep themselves distracted and at ease. "Hinata has wonderful parents."

_Good,_ Kageyama thought. _I'm glad._ The words were fierce in his head, sharp and intense. Hinata deserved wonderful parents. It was good that he had them.

They kept it up for another fifteen minutes or so, making inconsequential chit-chat about whatever came to mind. Whenever the conversation started to die, someone would come up with something to say, and the rest would seize on the new topic with relief. Eventually, though, everyone ran out of energy for the facade, and a tense quiet fell.

Fortunately it wasn't long before Tanaka, looking out the window of the lounge to the hospital hallway, suddenly sat up straight. "Hey, he's coming back." Every head turned to look.

Kageyama didn't need to have met the guy to know that this was Hinata's father. His hair was a few shades darker and his face was a little more dignified, but he walked with the same kind of bouncing agility, and his expression was very like one of the intense faces Hinata made on the court. Beside him walked a man who looked like every stereotype of a doctor-white coat, weathered face, clipboard in one hand.

By the time they reached the door of the lounge, Kageyama, Daichi, and Takeda were all standing, waiting. Mr. Hinata smiled and bowed his greeting, and they bowed back. Kageyama's heart beat quicker at the smile-it seemed genuine, not meant to couch bad news.

"I wanted to let you all know right away," Mr. Hinata said. He looked to the man beside him. "Dr. Saito? These are my son's dear friends. Please tell them everything you told me."

The doctor nodded calmly, glancing around at the three who were standing. "Physically, Hinata Shouyou will recover completely. However…"

Cacophony. Nishinoya and Tanaka leaped to their feet, cheering, and high-fived with both hands over Suga and Saeko's heads. Those two were also exclaiming, and Asahi had risen to his feet with both hands clenched into fists in the air as if celebrating victory. Yamaguchi and Tsukishima thumped each on the shoulder. Ennoshita closed his eyes and hid his face in his hands, and the other second-years let out brief cries. Yachi squealed in delight and clapped her hands. Shimizu's breath of relief was drowned out in the chaos.

Daichi, Takeda, and Kageyama had not taken their eyes off the doctor. Dr. Saito allowed the team their moment, then cleared his throat and went on. "However, he faces many challenges ahead. Though the tests found no bleeding in his brain, which is a very good sign, and his spine and neck were not damaged, he still suffered a moderate concussion. His symptoms have already begun to improve, but the brain is a very delicate organ. We don't know yet what problems might arise from this injury."

The room went very still. The students were all incapable of speech. Takeda spoke for them, his voice dry and almost hoarse. "Would you please explain?"

Dr. Saito faced him frankly. "We still don't understand the brain very well. An injury like this...can cause chemical imbalances and other changes. It's possible, even likely, that Hinata-kun will have problems. If he has post-concussive syndrome, he could suffer dizziness and headaches, and other symptoms, for a long time. Mental issues, depression, even personality changes. It's uncommon, but these symptoms might even become permanent."

"Personality changes?" Kageyama's voice was so low that he could barely hear himself. The doctor still looked in his direction, though, listening quietly. "What does that mean?"

"As I said, we don't understand how it works. But after an injury like this, a kind person might become irritable or a brave person might be fearful. A quiet person can become loud, or a loud person quiet. It's impossible to know. But I want you all to be aware of the possibilities. Your friend is not clear of danger yet."

The words were jamming up again behind Kageyama's lips. Only a few made it through. "All...all because his head hit a wall? It was so quick…" It was all over in a second. Only a split second of violence, and it could have consequences like this?

Daichi's hand was on his shoulder again. The doctor look at him sympathetically. It was all too much to bear.

"I'm sorry to say yes. All because his head hit a wall."

Kageyama's hands clenched into fists.

He didn't want Hinata's personality to change. Yes, he was annoying and stupid and more trouble than he was worth half of the time, but this… To lose part of himself because of _this…_ It was wrong. It was evil. It was unendurable.

Takeda cleared his throat. "What happens next, doctor?"

"We're going to keep Hinata-kun in the hospital for a couple of days for observation. Then, unless something goes wrong, he can go home to rest. He won't be able to go back to school for at least a week, possibly more. Even then, he cannot be allowed to play sports until all of his symptoms have completely gone. If he gets another concussion before this one heals, it will almost certainly kill him."

Silence as everyone took this in. Daichi spoke first. "We understand. Is it possible...could we see Hinata now? Kageyama told him we would visit, and we would all like to keep that promise."

Dr. Saito looked to Mr. Hinata, who nodded readily. The doctor looked back to Daichi. "He's sleeping now. You should not wake him. But yes, you can all look in on him and reassure yourselves that he is well."

Mr. Hinata smiled at them. "Come, I'll lead the way to Shouyou's room."

They had to take a couple of trips, since they wouldn't all fit in the elevator. Shimizu and Yachi chose to go in the second group, stopping at the gift shop first. Kageyama went with the first group along with most of the starting players, plus Suga. He marched through the halls behind Hinata's father like a soldier going to war, and only kept himself from fidgeting in the elevator because Daichi and Suga both stood next to him, radiating calm and assurance.

Outside the door to the private room Hinata had been moved to, Mr. Hinata put a finger to his lips. "Be quiet," he reminded them, his voice low. "Shouyou needs to sleep for as long as he can. They'll be waking him many times to do tests during the night. We'll tell him you all visited later, and he'll be glad to hear it."

"May we come and see him tomorrow, when he's awake?" Daichi asked.

"Yes, of course."

Daichi nodded. "Expect us, then."

Mr. Hinata gently pushed the door open, and they filed into the dimly lit room, all but holding their breath. Mrs. Hinata sat in an armchair against the far wall, Natsu curled up asleep in her lap. Kageyama gave her a hesitant wave, and she smiled sweetly.

Tanaka and Nishinoya crowded up next to the bed first, staring down at the sleeping Hinata. His wound had been bandaged with gauze and tape, but the thing that had looked so uncomfortable holding his head still was gone. His face was pale, dark circles under his eyes, and even in sleep he looked pained and unhappy.

"Hey, kouhai," Tanaka murmured, almost too quietly to be heard. He touched Hinata's arm briefly, then turned away from the bed, his shoulders hunched up around his ears. They all pretended that they hadn't seen tears in his eyes.

Nishinoya laid his palm on top of Hinata's hand, staring at his face without saying anything, as intense and focused as he was when studying an opponent team and trying to figure out where the ball would come from. Then he stepped back, and Asahi, Suga, and Daichi moved forward. More gentle touches, a few more quiet words. It was as if they all just needed to make sure he was really there.

Last, Kageyama. He leaned against the bed on his hip, just as he had in the emergency section, studying Hinata's face. It might have been his imagination, but he thought that maybe some of the pain had smoothed away from Hinata's expression, banished by the presence and touches of his teammates. It was a nice idea, in any case.

Carefully but swiftly, before he could talk himself out of it, Kageyama reached out and touched Hinata's hand, too. "Hey, dumbass Hinata," he said, soft as he could. "You have to get better soon, all right?"

He watched intently for a moment, but couldn't detect any change. But he had to say one more thing, couldn't leave until he did.

"Don't change. I won't like it if you do."

Again, no answer. After a moment, Kageyama blew out the breath he'd been holding and turned away, walking quickly out the door. He wanted to go home now. There was nothing else he could do.

Thanks to everyone who has ever left feedback on this story. Every kudos and favorite and follow, every hit, and especially reviews and comments-they all fuel the muse. Thanks for the motivation!


	6. Chapter 6

I'm not calling it angst because that term is...incorrect.

I feel like maybe I should apologize for this chapter. But then I might as well apologize for the whole fic. Just...this chapter was hard to write, not least because it tugged at some of my own memories. PTSD is a...well, I want to say "bitch," because I come from the Supernatural fandom and that's how Dean Winchester talks, but I'm aware that that term will probably bother some people. So just. Yeah. PTSD is bad. Be assured that I know what I'm writing about, quite intimately, and this is all meant respectfully. I honestly didn't mean for this story to dig in so deep and drag open so many holes, but there it is. Sometimes writing is like that. You wanted to write something fluffy about Kageyama being overprotective of Hinata because he hit his head, and somehow it turns into fifteen thousand words with no end really in sight. C'est la vie.

Fluff is coming. Eventually. Lots and lots of fluff. I promise.

Blah blah, I also write little ficbits follow me on tumblr I have stuff there. Is there more that should be in these notes? Agh, I'm so rusty at fandom. Been too long. How do you even talk to people on tumblr? It seems unnecessarily difficult. Anyway, I'm there and I write stuff that's not here.

* * *

Kageyama opened the door quietly, his bag hanging heavily on his shoulder. Sure, he was grateful that the team had thought to bring his stuff to the hospital, but now he was tired, and the bag was heavy, and he would have been just as happy if it was still in the club room at school. He was pretty sure he wasn't going to get any homework done tonight, anyway. Even if he felt the inclination, he didn't think his mind would be able to settle enough for something so mundane and unimportant.

He toed off his shoes and hung up his jacket, stretching his shoulders and cracking his neck. The entryway was dark, but light from the hallway to the rest of the house told him that his mom was still up, using her office. He wasn't sure where his father was. On a business trip again? He really wasn't good at keeping track of his parents.

"Tobio?" His mom's voice, faintly worried. He could picture her leaning back in her computer chair, looking out the office doorway toward the quiet sounds of his entrance. "You're home late, aren't you?"

"Yeah." Kageyama walked slowly toward the spreading warmth of the light, feeling his weariness in every footstep. He wrapped a hand around the strap against his shoulder to hold his bag still and made his way to the door of her office.

She was indeed leaning back in her chair to peer out, her hands still on her keyboard. "Are you all right, Tobio? I know I got a message from someone at your school earlier. Sorry I didn't get around to listening to it. You're not in trouble, are you?"

Kageyama shook his head. His throat felt tight and hot. How could he begin to tell her what had happened... How could he even begin to explain... It was too much. He couldn't do it.

His mom smiled, new wrinkles appearing around her eyes that covered up the stress creases. "That's good. I would hate for you to get in trouble. You wouldn't be able to do that ball club you love so much anymore."

"I'm not in trouble," he managed to say. "Some things happened and... Takeda-sensei brought me home."

"Oh, how kind. I'm glad you have such a good teacher. We'll have to have him over for dinner some time."

Kageyama nodded. He knew it would never happen. His mother was always making comments like this, ideas and plans for things they could do together in the future.

Her smile faded, a vague sense of concern settling back over her features. "You look tired. You should go to sleep. But I was glad to see you, Tobio. I hope things go well for you in school tomorrow."

"Thanks, Mom."

She waved him over with one hand, and he stepped into the office and bent down to accept her kiss on his forehead. As he stepped back out the door and down the hall, he could hear the swift tapping of her keyboard. Kageyama felt like a snail carrying his house on his back, every footstep slow and plodding. The strap of his bag dug into his shoulder.

He didn't bother turning on the lights in his room, just dumped his bag by the door and flopped down onto his bed. So tired. So very, very tired. He would sleep, and maybe he would wake up in good time tomorrow and do his homework before school. Maybe.

After a few minutes of laying face down, he pushed over onto his back and stared up at the ceiling. Light from the window trailed across the surface in a skewed rectangular shape, shading the darkness. The tree outside the window moved in a breeze, painting shifting shadows of leaves and twigs twining and twisting, breaking apart and coming together.

Hinata's head hit the wall. Kageyama squeezed his eyes shut and turned on his side, pressing his hands to his face. He didn't want to think about it anymore. He didn't want to _see_ it anymore. But in the quiet and the dark, without voices distracting him, without anything to do, the images just wouldn't stop coming.

Hinata laughing, jumping, healthy and vigorous and full of life. His little classmate giggling and clapping, her face bright with happiness. Then fingers, rough and crooked and horrible, marring the orange sun of Hinata's head, and the wall, the wall, the wall, obdurate and unbreakable, unmoving, a mountain untouched and unchanged by the brightness rammed into it. Hinata falling, falling, sliding down the wall, the blood flowing down his face in a thick, slow line of viscous red...

He could have died. He could have _died._

Kageyama gasped in the darkness, then pressed both hands over his mouth, too late stop the sound. He curled up on his side, his head almost touching his knees. Hinata could have _died._

Kageyama had never known anyone who had died before, except some grandparents that he never really knew anyway. Dying was what happened to old people. Dying was what happened to strangers on the news in terrible accidents and wars far away, in natural disasters and cosmic events that had no place in quiet, provincial Miyagi. Dying wasn't for high schoolers. It wasn't for kids who just wanted to play volleyball. It wasn't for Hinata, dammit, it wasn't, it _wasn't._

No. No. Hinata was fine. The doctor said he would heal. It would just take some time, that was all. His brain wasn't bleeding. No skull fracture. No damage to his spine. He was fine.

Hinata's head hit the wall.

Kageyama groaned and turned over onto his stomach again, burying his face in his pillow. He needed to think about something else. He needed to replace the images in his head with something pleasant, something ordinary, something with no blood and no threat of death.

Maybe… Morning practice. He and Hinata had worked on their new quick strike. They weren't at a hundred percent yet, but they were getting closer. Every success sent a jolt of victory through Kageyama's entire body, and he saw it in Hinata, too, the way his face lit up, the way his shoulders lifted and he bounced on his toes in brief celebration. Then he turned serious, settling down into a ready stance. "Once more!" rang through the gym, and Kageyama prepared to toss him the ball again.

Kageyama couldn't imagine ever tiring of this, the smack of the ball, the squeaking of shoes, the smell of sweat and the burn of muscles as he pushed himself to the limit again and again. He felt strong, pure in his focus on his sport. They were good, they were very good, and they were only going to get better. He felt free and solid and sure of his footing. He felt invincible.

Hinata's head hit the wall.

No. _No._ Hinata was fine. Everything was fine. Everything was going to be okay. He didn't have to think about this anymore. He needed to sleep. He was just...tired. He was so tired that his mind was playing tricks on him. Yes. That had to be what was happening. He just needed to get some sleep, and this would all go away. He'd feel better in the morning. He'd feel normal in the morning.

It was so… It was so stupid. So weird. Before today, Kageyama had never even thought the words "Hinata" and "my friend" in the same context. Even after all they'd been through together, all the learning and growing and fighting and winning and losing, the closest he'd ever come was thinking of Hinata as a kind of partner. Setter and spiker, right? Partnership was natural. It had been hard enough to think of this idiot as a teammate, never mind anything more than that.

Then Hinata's head hit the wall, and Kageyama suddenly knew something really, really dumb. Hinata was the best friend he'd ever had.

Granted, it wasn't a high bar. Kageyama was terrible at making friends-he always had been. After the stage of elementary school where everyone was a friend as long as they wanted to play the same game you did, he'd never gotten close to anyone, really. He'd never tried very hard, either. He knew he wasn't good at it, so he concentrated on things he could succeed at, instead.

Then this inferno of passion and energy and joy had fumbled into Kageyama's life, halting in the door of the gym and pointing at him in wide-eyed shock. "What are _you_ doing here?" As if Kageyama was the surprise, as if he was the one who didn't belong on the volleyball court. As if it was his talent and drive and senseless, boundless spirit that knocked everyone back a few steps and set the world on its ear, instead of Hinata's.

And Kageyama had hated the guy. What an idiot. What a dumbass. What a useless bag of shit he was, terrible at receiving, terrible at serving, terrible at blocking, terrible at everything.

But he fought. He fought hard. He fought harder than anyone Kageyama had ever met.

And now...

And now.

Kageyama's stomach executed a slow flip in his gut, and he was glad he hadn't eaten anything since lunch. Hinata was his friend. He knew that now. But had he only realized what he had in time to lose it?

If Hinata changed… If he lost his cheer or his energy or his courage, or the stupid way his hair stuck up all over the place, or the silly way he scrambled to hide behind someone when he was intimidated, or the fearless way he jumped like he could reach the stars if he just tried hard enough…

Kageyama's mind skittered away from the thought, unable even to hold onto it. Any change would be awful. It just would be. That was all.

He needed to sleep. Kageyama turned on his side again, facing the wall, and pressed his forehead to the cool plaster in search of something solid and steady and reliable. He needed to visualize something else. A jog through the streets, maybe. Something that had nothing to do with Hinata or volleyball or anything that could remind him of today.

The thoughts were slippery, constantly threatening to morph back into that concrete wall, that trickle of blood. Kageyama struggled to fend the memories off, to visualize, to control. It took everything he had in him.

It was a long time before he fell asleep. But at least he was too exhausted to dream.

* * *

Kageyama woke the next morning feeling like something that had died and then been dragged back out of the ground and forced to go about its normal business. A zombie, that was the word. Zombie. He was so tired he couldn't even do words.

He perked up a little on his morning jog, enough to get to school on time, but he still felt like his body was dragging on him throughout the entire day. He missed morning volleyball practice for the first time...ever. Didn't even realize he'd skipped it until he was already deep into his morning classes, half-heartedly trying to listen to whatever his teacher was droning on about. And when he did realize, he just blinked slowly and let out a quiet grunt, incapable of any further reaction.

By afternoon practice, though, he was determined to set everything aside and concentrate on the game. They had work to do, so much work to do. Especially if Hinata… Especially if they were going to be missing their decoy for a while. He would need to work out some alternate moves, maybe with Tanaka and Asahi. No one asked him why he'd missed morning practice, which he was grateful for, and they all buckled down to their tasks.

He wasn't the only one having problems, though. Everyone was subdued, a little slower, a little less enthusiastic than before. Sugawara tried to keep their spirits up with his usual encouraging comments and little speeches, and Daichi and Coach Ukai used their presence and forcefulness to keep things moving as much as they could. But Takeda and Shimizu kept their eyes on their clipboards, rarely looking up. Yachi's calls of "Nice receive!" and "Nice spike!" were almost too be quiet to be heard. Ennoshita, Narita, and Kinoshita went through their drills with silent tenacity, joyless and grim. Nishinoya never pushed and shoved at anyone in high spirits, never made any ridiculous pronouncements about his skill and laughed at his own jokes. Tanaka wasn't there.

Tsukishima didn't even say anything mean.

Everyone started packing up their gear earlier than usual. Kageyama didn't pay much attention at first, too busy thinking about what he planned to do. He hadn't done that jump serve practice he'd meant to yesterday. Should he just do a hundred today, or double it to make up the loss? Only when most of his teammates were gone did he feel the eyes on him and look up. Sugawara was standing nearby, his jacket on and his bag over his shoulder, half-turned to the door as he prepared to leave. His eyebrows were raised expectantly.

Kageyama blinked, coming out of his self-induced fugue. "What is it?"

"We're going to the hospital to visit Hinata. Aren't you coming with us? You should get ready to go."

Kageyama looked down at the volleyball in his hands. He spun it, feeling the _buzz_ and the _burr_ of the texture against his skin, then stopped the spin with a quick closing of his palms. He shook his head. "I need to work on my jump serve. Can you leave the keys? I'll lock up."

"Ah." A moment of silence, then Suga stepped over to Kageyama. His hand landed on Kageyama's shoulder, light as a bird, not pressing, not insisting, just making itself known.

Kageyama waited for insistence. He waited for guilt. He waited for Suga to tell him that Hinata would want to see him, and they were all going, so it would be rude of him to stay behind. He waited for an admonishment to fulfill his duty as a teammate and friend, to put aside whatever was troubling him and support his team no matter the cost.

Suga said none of this. He held Kageyama's shoulder lightly, gently, as if aware of how on-edge he felt, how certain he was that any moment he would simply explode from everything spinning inside him. Or, failing that, to fall into the earth, sinking under the weight of his fatigue, his fear, his helplessness.

He didn't want to see Hinata. He didn't want to see him in pain, and he didn't want to see him changed. It was too much. He couldn't take it. He didn't want to try.

"If you'd ever like to talk," Suga said, "I'm here."

Kageyama didn't look up from the ball.

"Or, if not me, you could talk to Daichi, or Coach Ukai, or Takeda-sensei. Any of us, really. Honestly. Even Shimizu. She might not know what to say, but she's a good listener. If you need to get something out, out from your chest where it's eating you up. We're here. All of us."

Kageyama shook his head. "I just need to practice my jump serve."

Suga released a breathy little sigh. Again, it wasn't insistent or pressuring. No guilt, no disappointment. Just a tiny expression of sadness and understanding. "All right. It's up to you. Just remember that you're not alone. Please? I was standing behind you and Tanaka. I saw what you saw. If you ever want to talk, I'll listen."

He seemed to be waiting, now, so Kageyama managed a nod. Suga gave his shoulder a little squeeze, then stepped back. "Don't worry about locking up. Coach Ukai was planning to come back and do it later, anyway. Just do what you gotta do, then go home and try to rest. All right?"

Kageyama nodded. Footsteps on the wooden floor, and he looked up to watch his teammate leave. It occurred to him to wonder who Suga had to talk to. Since he'd seen it, too.

Daichi was waiting near the door. Suga fell in step beside him, their shoulders bumping together casually as they walked.

Oh.

Then they were gone, the door shut firmly behind them. Kageyama blew out a breath and looked down at the ball in his hands. Now he would be able to concentrate. Now he would be able to set everything aside and lose himself in the physicality of a long, hard practice. Two hundred jump serves, definitely. Maybe more. As many as he could stand. Whatever it took not to think, not to feel.

He rolled one of the bins of volleyballs over to the end of the court, then began. He set himself almost at the wall. Then, the toss of the ball. Running, his arms swinging back, then forward. The spring into the air right before he crossed the line. His right arm powering up and forward like the arc of a powerful weapon. His hand striking the ball, spiking it at a downward angle to the other side of the net. The satisfying _wham_ of the ball meeting the floor at a reckless speed.

Again. Ready. Toss. Run. Jump. Hit.

Hinata's head hit the wall.

Kageyama landed, his breath suddenly loud in the empty gym. His heart pounded and sweat started to run down his forehead.

No. Push it aside. Practice. Serve the ball. The team was depending on him to be good at this.

Ready. Toss. Run. Jump. Hit. And again, and again. The ball slammed into the floor as if it had been shot from a cannon.

Hinata's head hit the wall.

No! No. Forget that. Forget it.

Kageyama pressed his hands to his forehead for a moment, as hard he could, as if he could rip the image out of his skull and throw it on the floor. Then he walked back to the bin and picked up another ball.

Again. Again. Ready, toss, run, jump, hit. Ready, toss, run, jump, hit. Ready toss run jump hit. Readytossrunjumphit.

Hinata's head hit the wall. And hit the wall. And hit the wall.

_"Aaaaaaagh!"_

He couldn't do it.

He couldn't do it.

Kageyama came back to himself kneeling on the floor on his hands and knees, panting and panting, struggling to catch his breath. The polished wood beneath his face was spattered with drops of moisture, sweat running down the sides of his face, off his nose and chin, landing on the floor. Drip, drip, more and more of them, big fat drops of water like raindrops presaging a storm.

He fell back on his rear, his head spinning viciously with the movement, and pulled up his sleeve to wipe his face. His breath rushed in and out, hard and uneven, shaky, like water trying to rush through a passage too small for the mass of it, vibrating all the surroundings with its speed and force.

He couldn't do it. He couldn't bury the images no matter how hard he tried. He just kept...he just kept _seeing_ it. Over and over. Hinata, laughing. Isao, cruel. Dirty fingers in orange hair. Hinata's head hitting the wall. The sound of it. The awful, sick, breaking sound of it, hanging in the air.

"I can't," he whispered. He sobbed. "I can't."

He didn't know what else to do. What was he supposed to do?

After a few minutes to gather himself, Kageyama dragged himself to his feet and continued practicing his jump serve.


	7. Chapter 7

Kageyama lay on his side in his bed, staring blankly into space. There was nothing about him that didn't hurt. He knew he'd overdone it at practice—way, way overdone it—and he was going to be paying for it for days. It would be worse after he slept, stiff and achy in every joint, every muscle, but for now it was just an overall kind of burn and weariness.

His cell phone lay next to him on his pillow, the battery light blinking now and then, drawing his attention. He'd taken it out and put it there without any real thought as to why. He knew, though. He was slowly trying to work up the courage to make the call.

Why was this so hard? It shouldn't be this hard.

Suga had all but ordered him to call. _If you need to get something out, out from your chest where it's eating you up._ Yes. Yes, that was exactly it. That was exactly how he felt. It was like a vicious animal trapped inside his rib cage, gnawing, gnawing at his heart and his lungs, making it difficult to breathe, to move, to do anything at all.

Why couldn't he make the call? Was he too proud?

Maybe a year ago, before he came to Karasuno, Kageyama would have been too proud to ask for help. Before his team rejected him, before he found a different team that taught him how to be someone who would never suffer that again. This wasn't pride. Kageyama was fully aware that he wasn't handling this well, and that Suga and the others were doing much better than he was. It only made sense to ask for help when faced with a task that someone else could teach him to do better.

Perhaps it was fear. Junior high school had taught Kageyama that he must be strong, or he had no place on the team. It had also taught him that he had to do it alone. Every time he had asked for assistance from his senpai, they had pushed him away. Oikawa had almost hit him once, stopped only by Iwaizumi, simply because Kageyama had asked Oikawa to teach him how to serve. Kageyama had never asked again. He wasn't an idiot. He could read a situation. Instead, he learned by watching and practicing on his own.

But Karasuno was different. That had been obvious in the first week. Suga had spent hours and hours practicing with Hinata at lunch time, at breaks, on grass and dirt and concrete, promising to help him get better simply because Hinata wanted to. The senpai here looked out for their kouhai and cared for them deeply. Tanaka's great distress at what had happened to Hinata was proof enough of that.

It was the thought of Tanaka that finally had Kageyama's hand moving toward his phone. Poor Tanaka was already broken up enough about Hinata. He wouldn't be able to stand it if he knew that Kageyama was struggling, too. Kageyama needed to get this fixed, at least a little bit, so that Tanaka would not have to bear that burden.

Still, his nerves buzzed unpleasantly as he listened to the phone ring, and he had to resist the urge to end the call before Suga answered. Maybe it was too late, maybe he'd be bothering… But no, a glance at the clock on his shelf showed that it wasn't that late at all. It just felt like it was already the small hours of the morning because he was so unutterably exhausted.

Suga picked up in the middle of the third ring. His voice was warm and pleasant, and he didn't sound like he'd been woken up or bothered or anything. "Hello? Is this Kageyama?"

Kageyama blew out a little breath. Though he'd exchanged numbers with Suga-san at the beginning of the year (as well as with most of the team), they'd never actually talked on the phone before. It had never seemed necessary, since they saw each other a minimum of twice every school day and sometimes on weekends, as well. The inherent distance of this form of communication, the lack of visual input, added another layer of strangeness to the thick fog that was already oppressing him.

"Yeah, this is Kageyama."

"Oh, good. I'm glad you called." There were rustling noises on the other end of the line. Kageyama imagined Suga moving around his room, maybe sitting up on his bed or in a desk chair. "What can I do for you?"

The question was too big. Kageyama's tongue stuck to the roof of his mouth, and his mind whited out for a moment, unable to produce any words.

"Um…" An easier route occurred to him suddenly, and Kageyama seized it with gratitude. "How was Hinata?"

Suga sighed. More rustling. "Very tired. We were there for an hour or so and he was only awake about half of the time. He'd fade out in the middle of a sentence, then wake up a couple minutes later and keep going right where he left off. It was rather endearing, really, but frustrating, too."

"Hm." Kageyama blinked. He wasn't sorry he'd missed that. It would have driven him absolutely crazy. "Was his memory better?"

"Yes. He knew what was going on, and he didn't forget anything new that we or his parents told him. He was still a little out of it, a little dazed and dizzy, but that could have been just because he was so exhausted. Dr. Saito said that his body and brain will need a lot of rest in the next few days, so we shouldn't be discouraged or surprised."

Kageyama had nothing to say to that. He just lay still on the bed, staring at the opposite wall and listening to the gentle sounds of Suga's breath on the other side of the phone.

"He didn't ask for you," Suga said after a moment, quietly, not accusingly, just informing Kageyama of the facts. "But I think he noticed that you weren't there. I hope you'll be able to visit him later. I'm sure he'd be glad to see you."

Kageyama squeezed his eyes shut and turned his head to press his face into the pillow for a moment, doing his utmost to suppress a groan. Yes, he was sure that was true. And he did...he did want to be able to visit Hinata. He just didn't know if he could, if he would be able to stand it. They were bad already—the images, the thoughts that wouldn't go away. What would they be like if he saw Hinata in the hospital again, confused and dizzy, with his head bandaged and his face still drawn with pain?

But Suga was waiting on the phone, silent, patient, and Kageyama had to say something in response. In person he could have nodded, or grunted, or wrinkled up his face, and Suga probably would have understood and let the conversation end there. Talking on the phone was so _difficult._ Kageyama didn't understand why people did it so much.

"I do…" he began slowly, painfully. "I do want to visit him. I'm sorry I couldn't."

"No one blames you. We all know this is hard for you."

Kageyama hesitated. They did?

After a second he tried to shake it off and keep going. He had to get to it, the real reason why he'd called. It was like crawling on his belly through a bed of rocks, dragging each word out one at a time, but he had to get there. He had to try.

"But, Suga… The, the problem… This problem I'm having… I…"

Ah! Why was this so hard? Kageyama lifted the phone in his hand and pressed it to his forehead for a moment, his face screwing up, eyes wincing shut. It shouldn't be this hard, dammit. He'd decided to say it. He had made the call; he'd voluntarily reached out for help despite every impulse that told him not to. Now he just had to finish the deed.

He put the phone to his ear again. Suga was still quiet on the other end, just breathing steadily. "I…" He bit back a sob. "There's something wrong with me, Suga-san. I don't know what to do."

Another moment of silence, but Kageyama felt the acceptance in it, the warmth, the understanding. He didn't know why he'd expected anything else. This was Sugawara Koushi. No other response was possible.

"How about this, then. How about you tell me exactly what's going on," Suga said. "Exactly what you think the problem is. Anything that has been bothering you, however long it's been happening. And then I'll let you know if I think there's something wrong with you."

"O-Okay."

One word at a time, Kageyama told him what was going on in his head. How he couldn't get that moment out of his mind, how he kept seeing Hinata's head hit the wall, over and over, no matter how hard he tried to repress the memory. How he'd barely slept, how he'd gone through the day with little to no awareness of what he was doing. How he hadn't even realized he'd skipped morning practice until hours later. How even the hardest workout he'd ever forced on himself had done nothing to quell the tide of sights he didn't want to see and thoughts he didn't want to think and feelings he didn't want to feel.

"I just don't know how to make it stop," he finished, weary and helpless, so helpless that he couldn't even keep it to himself anymore. He had exhausted his options. Suga was his last hope. "I don't want this. I don't want to _see_ it anymore. What's wrong with me?"

"First off, there's nothing wrong with you," Suga said firmly. "Stop thinking that right this instant. What's happening to you is completely normal. I know that's horrible in its own way, but it's true. You need to stop believing that you're somehow defective because you're having problems dealing with this. It's not true. You are completely, totally, and in every way as normal as can be."

Kageyama drew in a deep breath, his eyes slipping shut for a moment. He wanted so, so badly to believe it. "But…"

"No buts." Sometimes, Kageyama had learned, Suga could be just as commanding and overwhelming as Daichi. This was one of those times. "You're normal. This is normal."

Kageyama was silent, absorbing this. Suga sounded utterly certain. He sounded like he knew what he was talking about, like he'd known it for a long time. "Then…" Kageyama clutched the phone a little tighter, his voice dropping. "What is it? Why does this keep happening?"

"They're called flashbacks."

"Whuh...really? They're not like the flashbacks in movies…"

Suga sighed, and there was a sound of rustling as if he was rubbing his head or changing the way he sat. "Movies get a lot of things wrong. Sure, some people have flashbacks like in movies, long scenes that go from beginning to end and have all kinds of details and information, but for a lot of people it's just like it is for you. Something happens, and little moments come back. An image, a feeling, a scent. It's like your mind is having an allergic reaction and breaking out in a rash."

Kageyama snorted softly at this bizarre comparison, but he had to admit that it was apt. "But...but why is this happening? Flashbacks happen to people who have been through horrible things. I...I wasn't even the one who got hurt. Isao never touched me. It was...it was Hinata who…" He choked suddenly and couldn't go on.

"Oh, Kageyama." Suga's voice had gone soft and sad, the commanding demeanor hidden away. "You were hurt, too."

"No, I wasn't, I wasn't even…"

"I don't mean your body, Kageyama. Not all wounds are physical. An act of violence committed against one person can have many, many victims. You, Tanaka, Hinata's family, the entire team… We have all been hurt by that one terrible act. You understand flashbacks because of movies, yes? How many movies have you seen where a soldier is suffering in that way, even though he was never wounded in action? Just being involved in that sort of thing, being around it… It can cause wounds. You were wounded yesterday, just as Hinata was, but in a different way."

Kageyama breathed, in and out, in and out. This, he didn't want to believe. Not at all. It was terrifying to think that someone could do that to him from a dozen meters away without him even realizing it. Without him having even a ghost of a chance to protect himself.

"If...if that's true…" And just approaching the subject hypothetically was already making it seem more possible, more plausible… "If I was wounded… How can I heal? How can I make this stop?"

He could practically hear the encouraging smile in Suga's voice. "The first step is acceptance. You must acknowledge that you are hurt. I know it's hard. We're taught since we're very small that we must be strong and tough, that we should be able to brush off any injury or hurt and carry on with our duties. But things happen, sometimes very bad things, and it is not a weakness to understand that and to say to ourselves, 'That was a very bad thing that happened to me, and it hurts very much.' Do you understand?"

"I...think so. But how will that help?"

"You said you've been trying to push these flashbacks away and ignore them. You've been doing your best to repress your feelings and pretend that nothing is wrong. It hasn't been working. Don't you think you should try something new?"

"Heh." The breath left Kageyama's mouth in a sound that was half amusement, half startlement. "I guess so."

"Then try this. The next time a flashback comes, instead of trying to ignore it, allow yourself to experience it fully. Say to yourself, 'Yes, this happened, and it was awful, and it hurt me deeply. But it's over now. I'm safe. Hinata is safe. Nothing will hurt us again. Daichi said so.' Do you think that might help?"

This time Kageyama very nearly laughed, a breathless chuckle forcing its way out of his chest. He turned over on his other side and curled up, still clutching the phone. "I think it might."

"Good. 'Daichi said so' is often a very reassuring thing for me to think, too."

"Captain says a lot of things."

"And he's right more often than he's wrong."

"Yeah."

A gentle quiet settled over them. Kageyama found it a bit amazing, but very nice. Nothing had really changed. Hinata was still in the hospital. Isao was still getting away with near-murder. All he'd done was have a little conversation with Suga-san. And yet he already felt much more steady, more equipped to deal with everything.

Still, he didn't end the call, and neither did his companion on the other end.

"Suga?" Kageyama's voice was soft, tentative.

"Eh?"

"How do you know all this? How do you know about flashbacks and wounds and...and all that?" Suga was a teenager, too, only a couple years older than Kageyama. Had he been through something awful in the past? It didn't bear thinking about (not Suga, no, surely nothing bad could ever be allowed to happen to Suga), but Kageyama couldn't help wondering now that the question had occurred to him.

Suga didn't answer for a moment. "That's a story for another time."

"Please, I...I'd like to hear it now."

Another small hesitation. Then, "All right. I'll tell you a little. It's not really my story."

"Thank you."

Suga released a breath. "I had a friend in junior high. A very sweet, kind friend, and I loved her very much. I called her nee-san, and she called me nii-chan.

"Some bad things happened to her. It's not my place to tell you what. But she changed. She became sad and withdrawn. I very badly wanted to help her. So I did my best to learn how. My mother bought a book for me and, well… It was difficult to read. But I did. I still have it. I still remember what I learned.

"And that's it. That's why I know. Nothing bad happened to me—you don't have to worry about that. All right?"

Kageyama smiled into the phone. Of course Suga knew why he had wanted to know so badly. He was a very smart senpai.

And that story… Yes, it made complete sense. Of course Suga would do that. Of course he would overcome any difficulty just on the chance that he might be able to help a friend.

But now Kageyama had another question, and suddenly it seemed very important that he get an answer.

"How is your friend now? Is she still...wounded? Does she still carry all that weight?"

"Ah." The smile returned to Suga's voice. "She's much better. She went to a different high school, but we still text each other now and then. She has the same concerns as any other high school girl. The past no longer oppresses her."

"Oh." Kageyama's body suddenly relaxed into the bed. His eyes felt heavy, his limbs weighed down. It was as if every particle of tension that had held him tight in iron bands suddenly melted away.

"Scars don't disappear," Suga said softly. "But they fade."

"I think I'll be able to sleep now," Kageyama told him.

"Good. You should do that."

* * *

AN: I realize that I may be writing Suga-san as a bit TOO perfect...but it's really hard not to. Sorry!


	8. Chapter 8

Kageyama only managed to sleep for a few hours. He woke in a panic, flailing his way out of bed and hitting the floor with a jarring crash. He stared at the ceiling, fighting for breath, his limbs tangled in a swelter of sheets and blankets. His heart pounded like the ringing of a mighty bell calling warning for some disaster about to fall.

Dread clawed at his throat. He was suddenly absolutely, completely certain that Hinata was dead.

It must have been a dream. It must have been a nightmare. The images and thoughts and feelings had returned when he was asleep, when he had no chance to fight them or try to follow Suga's advice_—it happened but it's over it's over Hinata is safe I'm safe Daichi said so—_and accept them as part of his reality now. Instead it had all been twisted askew, changed by the realm of dream and made so, so much worse. The wall. The trickle of blood. Hinata on the ground, eyes open and staring, his body far, far too still.

No. No, it hadn't happened like that. Hinata was fine. He was fine, he was in the hospital, he was getting better, Suga said so, Suga said...

Kageyama clutched at his chest, trying to slow his racing heart. He had to see for himself. He had to know. Right away.

He sat up, shoved away the fabric that bound his limbs, and shakily climbed to his feet. His knees wobbled, but they held him up. He reached out for the wall, leaned on it, groped his way to his door.

Light down the hallway. His mom was still awake. Kageyama blew out a trembling breath and glanced at the clock. It was late, it was too late for public transport, and the hospital was too far to jog to, running through the streets with his chest still on fire with panic. It was too much. He couldn't do it.

But his mom was awake. Kageyama's hand clenched into a fist. She was always busy, always working on important things. He didn't want to bother her. But his need to make sure Hinata was okay outweighed every hesitancy he'd ever had.

He limped down the hall, leaning on the wall, his legs shaking, his breath and heart far too fast. The light wasn't coming from her office. It was shining from the living room, a soft, diffuse glow, probably only one lamp.

His mom sat in an armchair, reading glasses on, a single yellow bulb lighting the book in her hands. It was a novel, not a treatise or a trade journal or legal briefs. She'd finally found a moment to relax and he was about to interrupt it. Kageyama leaned in the doorway, his breath catching for a moment. Guilt filled his chest like a balloon, but it couldn't displace his panic, his need.

"Mom..." His voice was too soft, choked by everything rushing through him. He cleared his throat and tried again. "Mother..."

She looked up, the light catching on her glasses. For a moment she sat very still, staring at him. "Tobio?"

"I need...I need a favor..."

She set her book aside and took off her reading glasses. Kageyama's vision wavered, and suddenly she was standing in front of him, her hands reaching out. They landed on his cheeks, holding him gently, and he was able to breathe again. Her hands were so cool and soft and nice. He hadn't realized how flushed and overheated he was.

"Tobio, what's going on?"

She often sounded vaguely worried when she talked to him, as if she wanted to know what was going on in his life but had no idea what questions to ask. Now the worry had sharpened down to a point, defined and urgent. She knew something was wrong and she demanded to know the reason, as commanding and irresistible as Daichi and Suga had ever been.

Kageyama caught his breath and opened his mouth, but still couldn't quite find the words. It was too much, too overwhelming.

"Did you have a nightmare? Is that what's wrong?"

He shook his head, then hesitated, still shaking. Yes, he'd had a nightmare, but that wasn't what was wrong.

"You said you needed a favor. What is it? What can I do?"

Ah, maybe that one he'd be able to answer. "I need a ride... Please, I know it's late, but I can't get there by myself, and I need to go..."

"Go?" She released his face with one hand, reaching up to stroke her fingers through his messy, tangled hair. It felt so nice. Kageyama suddenly understood why it had helped Hinata so much when Suga had done this for him. "Where do you need to go?"

Maybe he was finally strong enough to say it. "My friend... My friend is in the hospital. I need to see him."

Her hands stilled as she froze where she stood. For a moment she didn't breathe. A tiny noise escaped Kageyama's lips, frustrated, needy, and she started petting his hair again. "Your friend. I see." Her voice was calm, but something trembled beneath it. "This is what that message was about. I should have listened to it."

"It's okay." Kageyama wiped his hand on his t-shirt, trying to get rid of the fear that still clung to his skin.

"It isn't." For the first time it what seemed like a very long time, Kageyama's mother met his eyes with understanding, with bright focus and piercing intelligence. "You've never really talked about your friends before."

"I've never really had friends before."

"Ah. Yes. And now something bad has happened to one of them."

She didn't ask. She didn't try to force the story out of him. But now that she was showing interest, he couldn't help but want for her know everything.

"Another s-student… An older student, a third-year… He hurt my friend. He grabbed his head and slammed it into a wall. Just like that. Just...because he could. And my friend...Hinata, Hinata Shouyou. He's in the hospital. He has a concussion. The doctor said...the doctor said he could have problems for a long time. All because of that wall, all because… I saw it happen and I couldn't stop it, and now Hinata is hurt and I need to go see him, please. Please, Mom. I need to see him."

"You had a nightmare, didn't you?"

Kageyama could only nod. He raised his hand, curled into a loose fist, and rubbed at his eye. It had only been a dream. But it had frightened him, and the fear was not going away, even though he stood in the light with his mother's hand in his hair, soothing and kind.

"I need to make sure," he said.

"All right." Her hands gently disengaged from his head, and he swayed forward with the movement, then held himself still again. "Get dressed. I'll start the car."

He didn't have a chance to express his gratitude. She was already out the door.

The car ride was strange and quiet. Kageyama said nothing, staring out the window at streets that should have been familiar, now made into an alien landscape by the darkness, by the bright streetlamps shedding halos around them, by the slow blinking of traffic lights in green and red and amber. His mother was silent, too, but an odd sense of determination radiated from her. It was as if she had taken this small task—driving her son to the hospital—as some kind of mission that must be fulfilled with all her strength.

They were only a block or two away when Kageyama realized the problem. He turned to his mother, eyes suddenly wide. "It—it must be far past visiting hours. They won't let me in."

But she only smiled, broad and certain in the shifting light. "Don't worry about that. You can accomplish almost anything with talking. And your mother is a champion talker, Tobio-chan. Why do you think I'm such a good lawyer? It's not my cute, girly smile."

She turned her head slightly to give him a good look at that smile, and Kageyama blinked. You could call that smile a lot of things, but "cute" and "girly" were not on the list.

Was that what he looked like when he smiled, too? No wonder it always freaked Hinata out.

She was right, too. Kageyama didn't quite understand what magic she was working, but once they were inside the hospital, no one could stop them. Kageyama led the way to Hinata's room, and anyone that tried to speak to them halted immediately after a few words from his mother. She spoke with such authority that it was impossible to stand against her. It was like having Nishinoya watching his back on the court, receiving every shot that came in, deflecting every attack and making it look easy.

At the door to Hinata's room, his mom paused. "Go on in," she said. "I'll wait here and make sure no one bothers you. Take all the time you need."

"It won't be long," Kageyama said. "I just need to see, that's all. I just need to make sure."

"Take all the time you need," she repeated firmly. She opened the door with one hand, the other gently nudging Kageyama inside. "I'll wait for as long as it takes."

Kageyama nodded slowly, then stepped into the room.

He expected it to be dark, but the room was dimly lit with a strip of blue lighting along the wall. Monitors blinked with red and green dials, like traffic lights that never stopped. Against the opposite wall was a cot occupied by someone with a shock of dark orange hair. Hinata's father had stayed overnight, then. Kageyama was relieved to see that his little sister wasn't there, though.

Kageyama moved slowly toward the bed, doing his best to make no noise. Hinata was curled up on his side, his hands resting loosely on the pillow in front of his face. His eyes were shut and his expression seemed smooth and empty. Kageyama held his breath. He just needed to see his chest move, his finger twitch. Some sign, no matter how small, some proof that the dream had been a lie.

He reached the bed and gripped the rail that ran along the side with both hands, the cold metal biting into his palms. Hinata was far too still. It was really starting to disturb him. Hinata wasn't supposed to be so still, he wasn't supposed to…

Hinata's eyes opened. Kageyama started back, his heart thumping, but managed to keep himself from yelling in shock. A tiny squeak was all that came out, something that sounded like it should have come from Yachi, not from Kageyama, manly volleyball player extraordinaire.

Hinata still didn't move, only his eyes raising to Kageyama's face. Then his face lightened, a small, weary smile appeared, and Kageyama's heart finally started to slow down. "Hi, Kageyama."

"Hi, Hinata." Kageyama slumped, shoulders lowering, hands loosening from their death grip on the rail. The guy didn't seem at all surprised to see him. Maybe he was just too worn out to have much reaction to anything. "Why aren't you asleep?"

Hinata frowned. Kageyama could see the dark circles around his eyes even in the dim blue light. "I sleep too much. It's weird."

"You got hit in the head, dumbass. Of course you need a lot of sleep."

"I know I got hit in the head, idiot. What does that have to do with needing a lot of sleep?"

"You gotta, you gotta heal. That's all. Your brains got scrambled and messed up and you already didn't have enough of them. So you really need to protect what little you have."

They'd both been keeping their voices low, but Kageyama was starting to get strident, his voice rising from a quiet murmur to more of a stage whisper. He couldn't help it. He just felt really strongly about this.

Hinata chuckled suddenly, soundlessly, and relaxed into the pillow. His eyes fell shut for a moment, then opened again, fixed on Kageyama. "Thanks."

Kageyama didn't know what to do with that. He let go of the bed rail and stepped back one step. His eye fell on a chair nearby, and he went over and moved it next to the bed, picking it up so as to make no noise on the floor. Sitting, he was more on level with Hinata, and it didn't feel as strange. He leaned forward and rested his arms on the rail, crossing them in as casual a pose as he could manage.

"What are you thanking me for?" he asked.

Hinata lifted one shoulder in a weary shrug. "Just...for being yourself, I guess. Everyone's being weird."

"You got hurt and you're in the hospital. Of course people are acting different. It's a weird situation."

Hinata bit his lip, hesitating. Kageyama held his breath, deeply disturbed by this uncharacteristic sign of distress. Hinata didn't hesitate. He rushed in. It was who he was.

Then he spoke, his voice so low that Kageyama had to lean in closer to catch all the words. "I heard my mom crying last night."

Kageyama said nothing. His heart felt like a stone in his chest.

"They thought I was asleep, but really I just kept fading in and out all the time and I didn't move or open my eyes because it hurt too much. So I heard her crying. My dad was shushing her, but she sounded...so sad. So, so sad. She kept saying, 'How could anyone do this. How could anyone do this to our little boy.'"

Kageyama's throat was tight. He had to look away for a moment, but when he looked back, Hinata was still staring at him fixedly. He probably hadn't even blinked.

"I've been trying to remember… I know my mind is messed up, but I remember most of what happened yesterday. I know I kept forgetting things and you and Suga had to remind me over and over. Sorry for being such a pain, by the way."

Kageyama swallowed. "Don't worry about it," he muttered.

"But I still can't remember the accident. It's all a blur in my head. I was talking to my classmate, explaining to her why being a decoy is so cool, and then the next thing I remember I'm sitting on the floor and you're holding me up and my head is a big ball of pain."

"Yeah," Kageyama said. "That's pretty much it."

"But the accident…"

Hinata was starting to shake, his eyes wandering away to stare at nothing. Fear jumped in Kageyama's throat. "Oi." He reached out and poked Hinata's arm. "Stop that. Stop thinking so hard. You're hurting yourself."

Hinata startled at the touch, and his eyes flew back to Kageyama's face. "Kageyama…"

His hand rose from the bed, empty and reaching. Kageyama stared, unsure what was going on. It was the first time Hinata had moved anything but his eyes, so it seemed important, but he didn't know what Hinata was looking for.

"Kageyama…" Hinata's breath was coming faster. He flexed his fingers, making a grabbing motion at Kageyama.

Oh. Oh.

Kageyama felt heat rise in his cheeks, but he reached back. He took Hinata's hand in his and held it, palm to palm, their fingers wrapping around each other in a tight band. Hinata relaxed instantly, a light breath puffing out of his mouth. His hand was too cool, and his grip wasn't very strong, but he held on.

Kageyama had thought it would feel weird and stupid. But here in the dark, just the two of them...it was only Hinata, and he was hurt and scared, and Kageyama was right here and he could do something about it. That was all. It was simple. It was easy.

"I know I shouldn't think about it," Hinata said. "But I can't help it. And I think… I think I remember a hand… A hand grabbing my hair, digging in… It hurt… It was so fast…"

"Hinata, don't…" Kageyama shook his head. The horror of that moment was welling up in him again, stealing his words, his breath.

"Kageyama." Hinata's eyes were wide and demanding, even as fear made his voice so soft that it was almost impossible to hear. "Someone did this to me, didn't they? It wasn't an accident. Someone hurt me."

Kageyama lowered his head, his chest heaving as he struggled. After a moment, he nodded. Hinata deserved the truth.

"Oh."

And they were silent.


	9. Chapter 9

Kageyama waited until he was sure that Hinata was deeply asleep before he carefully disengaged his hand from Hinata's loosened grip and stood up from the chair. Even then, he couldn't bring himself to leave until he'd woken Hinata's father and told him what was going on. Kageyama couldn't be there constantly to hold Hinata's hand when he needed it—never mind how a small, fiercely protective part of him screamed that he _wanted to—_but someone should. Mr. Hinata had been sleeping overnight, anyway, so they already knew Hinata shouldn't be alone. They would just have to keep an eye out so they didn't miss when Hinata needed extra support and comfort.

Even then, it was hard to leave the room, hard to walk down the hallway back to the car to leave. Kageyama had all but trotted on his way to Hinata's room, never running but never quite walking, either, and the reverse trip felt agonizingly slow. His mother said nothing, allowing him his space. He almost fell asleep in the car, soothed by the movement and by her strong, steady presence, but once he was in bed at home it seemed to take forever to drift off despite the fatigue that dragged at him, the soul-deep ache in every muscle and every bone.

The next day was slightly easier. Though his body hurt with a deep, abiding ache that he knew wouldn't fade for days, his mind was not as clouded and confused. Some things that had been murky and dark were now as clear as the air after a spring shower. He knew his purpose; he knew what he needed to do. It was simple. He needed to keep training, keep pushing his limits, keep doing everything he could to improve his skills and increase their chances of winning the next match. And he needed to do everything in his power to help Hinata heal and get better and leave this act of violence in the past. Whatever it took, whatever was required of Kageyama to make that happen, he would do it.

Whenever a flashback came—and they did, they still did, part of him wondered if they would ever stop—Kageyama took a moment to center himself. He closed his eyes and breathed, slow and steady. He accepted the pain, the terror, the overwhelming horror. He let the wind pass through the flimsy house.

_Yes, this happened. It was the worst thing that ever happened to me. But it's over. Hinata is safe. I'm safe. It will never happen again. Daichi said so._

It was weird, maybe, but that last phrase was the most reassuring of all of it. What Suga said was true. Captain was right more often than he was wrong. And Daichi wanted this particular thing to be true very, very badly, so he would make it so. Kageyama was as certain of that as he'd ever been certain of anything in his life.

He did skip morning practice again, this time because his body was so exhausted that he never even heard the alarm calling him to get up for it. He phoned Suga to explain, and Suga did not seem at all bothered or even surprised. Everyone was a little off their game, a little out of rhythm, Suga told him, so practice wasn't particularly productive right now, anyway. "But come in the afternoon, right? We'll visit Hinata again."

Kageyama agreed readily. He was looking forward to it.

He even managed to pay attention in class. All right, mostly. Sometimes. Okay, not very well. But it was better than yesterday.

Afternoon practice was...almost soothing. They did nothing special, just drills that they'd all done dozens, maybe hundreds of times. But it was good to be there, good to be surrounded by the team, though they all missed Tanaka and Hinata. Practice was short, but it grounded and steadied them. Then they all piled into Takeda and Ukai's cars and Tanaka Saeko's van and drove to the hospital. Both Tanaka siblings were with them, which was something of a relief. Nishinoya and Tanaka bumped fists, and everyone pretended that Tanaka didn't look like he'd gotten no sleep for the past two days.

He should talk to Suga. Kageyama made a mental note to inform him.

They split into a few groups again, not wanting to overwhelm the little room. Again, Kageyama went with the first group. The hospital looked different in the daylight. Less claustrophobic, more plain and ordinary. Hinata's room was sunny and bright and full of gifts, flowers and cards and silly little stuffed animals from the gift shop downstairs. Kageyama hadn't noticed any of it last night, and he found himself gaping at the bounty.

A lot of people cared about Hinata at least enough to send a token or a trinket. A lot of people.

Good.

When they came in, Hinata's bed was raised so that he was almost sitting, though his head lay limply against the pillow and his eyes were heavy. Kageyama only saw that for instant, though, because the second they entered Hinata perked up, beaming like the sun. He reached out for them with both hands, calling a greeting, so like an innocent little kid excited to see his playmates that Kageyama would have rolled his eyes if last night hadn't still been fresh on his mind.

Nishinoya ran ahead of the others, his hands outstretched in return. "Shouyou!" They caught each other's hands and gripped tight, fingers twining together.

It was...stupidly adorable. Kageyama could see the thought on everyone's faces, including Mrs. Hinata's. She'd been standing by the window, arranging some flowers in a vase, but now she was watching her tiny son interact with his tiny friend, affection glowing in her eyes. Suga released a quiet chuckle at the sight, and even Daichi huffed out a breath in fond amusement.

An immediate chatter began. Kageyama hung back from the main group a bit, looking around the room cautiously. Mrs. Hinata caught his eye. "Looking for something, Kageyama-kun?"

"Uhh…" He grimaced, but didn't see a point in trying to lie. "Just wondering if Natsu-chan was here."

Mrs. Hinata grinned. "She's with a babysitter for the day. She doesn't much like this place. But she's certainly looking forward to seeing her big brother at home this evening."

Nishinoya had fallen quiet for a moment in respect for the adult talking, but now he turned back to Hinata, bouncing on his toes. "Is that right? You're going home later today?"

"Yeah. I can't wait to get out of here."

"Hey, I bet, huh? What a boring place. There's not even a TV in this room."

They were still holding hands. Kageyama watched their entwined fingers, unaccountably bothered. It shouldn't be a big deal, but... Hinata's knuckles were pale. Nishinoya was gripping Hinata in return, but not nearly as hard.

Hinata frowned at the comment. "I'm not supposed to watch TV."

"Uuuaa? No kidding?" Nishinoya looked at Mrs. Hinata for confirmation.

She nodded. "The doctor says that Hinata has to let his brain rest. No TV, no books, no video games. It's too much of a strain."

Kageyama was still watching their hands. He was pretty sure he saw Nishinoya start to loosen his fingers, preparing to let go, but Hinata tightened his grip. So Nishinoya remained where he was, solid and straight at Hinata's bedside, as if he really was the guardian deity of Karasuno. If he was perturbed by this unusual clinginess from his kouhai, he didn't show even a hint of it.

"Ah, but at least that means no schoolwork then, right?" Nishinoya grinned at Hinata, earning a somewhat weaker smile in return.

"Can he at least have visitors?" Tanaka asked. It was the first thing he'd said since they'd arrived at the hospital

It was odd for their usually boisterous teammate to be so quiet and subdued, standing next to Daichi with his hands in his pockets and his face almost neutral. Kageyama didn't like it, and he could see that Suga and Daichi were bothered by it, too. But today seemed to be a day for odd, worrisome behaviors.

Fortunately, Mrs. Hinata nodded enthusiastically. "Yes, of course, as long as his symptoms don't get any worse. The doctor said it will be good for him to have some activity, just not too much."

Tanaka smiled. A really nice, wide, genuine smile. Kageyama's shoulders slumped a bit at the sight.

"But our house is so far away," Mrs. Hinata went on. "Surely you all will have better places to be."

"Better than hanging out with Shouyou?" Nishinoya replied. "Never."

"We really would appreciate the opportunity to check in on him," Tanaka said more quietly.

Mrs. Hinata chuckled and waved a hand, but she seemed pleased. "My, what good senpai you are."

"That's us!" Nishinoya stood straight and puffed out his chest. He obviously wanted to point his thumb at himself in his characteristic gesture, but his hands were still full with holding onto Hinata, so he didn't.

They kept talking, plans for when different members of the team could come visit, ideas for things they could do that wouldn't tax Hinata's brain. After a few minutes, Hinata's grip on Nishinoya's hands finally loosened. Nishinoya smoothly released him and stood back, giving the impression that it was all entirely natural, but Kageyama didn't miss the almost invisible wave of relief that passed over his face. When he thought no one was looking, he gave his hands a careful shake, trying to dispel the cramped feeling.

Hinata, meanwhile, was tensing up, his shoulders gradually rising toward his ears. His face had been happy and relaxed while Nishinoya held his hands, but now all that was slipping away. His fingers clenched in the blanket over his stomach, tightening and relaxing, over and over.

Kageyama scowled, eyes narrowing. He hadn't been here yesterday, but from what Suga had told him, this seemed like a new thing. Hinata didn't seem to be having any trouble staying awake today, but he was having trouble with...this. Whatever this was. Disorientation? Did he need some kind of tactile sensation to help him keep a grip on reality? Was he still feeling dizzy and detached?

Whatever it was, Kageyama knew what to do about it. He'd already done it once. It wasn't really difficult, just a little awkward and overwhelming. But when was anything involving Hinata outside of a volleyball court _not_ awkward and overwhelming? Never, that was when.

Kageyama made his way through the press of bodies until he stood next to Hinata's bed, taking Nishinoya's place as Nishinoya moved around the room, looking at and exclaiming over all the gifts Hinata had received. Hinata glanced at Kageyama sideways, but made no move to reach out. Did he think Kageyama was embarrassed to do this in the daylight?

Whatever. Maybe he was. But that didn't mean he wouldn't do it. Kageyama's cheeks were too warm, and the room suddenly seemed stuffy and claustrophobic, but he did what he had to do. He reached over for Hinata's hand and held it, close and warm, palm to palm and fingers wrapped around the back like the clasp of a key in a lock.

Hinata gripped him in return, though not so tightly that it hurt. His shoulders lowered, his head relaxed back against the pillow, and his eyes looked heavy again.

After a few minutes, someone moved a chair over behind Kageyama's back. He didn't see who it was. He sat down, still holding Hinata's hand warm and safe in his.

Nishinoya and the others kept chatting with Mrs. Hinata, keeping the room full of life and laughter. Hinata was going home tonight, and in a few days he would be able to come back to school. Everything was going to go back to the way it had been soon enough.

Even the thought of Isao held no terror for Kageyama here, surrounded by his teammates in the warm sunlight of a beautiful afternoon. Everything was going to be okay, sooner or later. Hopefully sooner. Probably sooner.

If, for a while, Hinata needed to hold someone's hand in order to feel safe and secure, they could deal with that. It wasn't a big deal. Kageyama honestly...didn't really mind it much. It was a simple thing, and it worked. Fighting it would just be silly.

Though he did have to admit a certain appreciation for the fact that no one else felt it was necessary to talk about it.


	10. Chapter 10

At some point Hinata felt secure enough to let go of Kageyama's hand. Kageyama remained sitting by the bed, letting his hand and lower arm rest on the mattress, in case Hinata felt the need to grab him again. He remembered Hinata clutching his arm right after the incident, remembered his fingers clenching in Kageyama's sleeve. Remembered how he declared confidently that he was going to be all right because Kageyama was there.

If Hinata had come to associate Kageyama subconsciously with safety and well-being... That was kind of dumb, but Kageyama no longer felt any need to disabuse him of the notion. If it helped Hinata feel better, it was okay, no matter how stupid and ill-advised it was.

When the first group started moving toward the door, preparing to leave, Kageyama shifted to get up and follow them. But they all turned to him and told him to stay where he was, almost in unison. Hinata laughed, and Kageyama flushed, but he settled back in his chair. The senpai knew what was going on, obviously, and they felt the same way Kageyama did. If it helped Hinata, it was worth doing.

So Kageyama sat there by Hinata's bed while the rest of the team visited. He felt a little awkward, but Hinata and his mother were sociable enough for ten Kageyamas, and the room was always full of lighthearted chatter and pleasant smiles. Everyone was delighted to find Hinata acting more like himself, more alert and aware and talkative. A few of them seemed aware of the oddness of Kageyama sitting so close, never moving. And when Hinata's hand twitched toward Kageyama's sleeve, then halted abruptly, Shimizu and Ennoshita definitely noticed it, a flicker of concern in their eyes as they glanced at Kageyama.

Kageyama just shrugged, unable to convey the situation without words. They both gave slight nods, though, and were wise enough to say nothing. Yachi was talking, something about the classes Hinata was missing and how she would be happy to help him catch up when he came back, and the conversation turned to other things.

By the time the last group came in, consisting of Takeda, Ukai, Yamaguchi, and Tsukishima, Hinata was beginning to droop. Hinata had always been one to gain energy from company, unlike Kageyama. When people were around Hinata got more cheerful, more bouncy, more garrulous, while Kageyama found such situations tiring. It was a bit alarming to find their feelings now reversed—Kageyama appreciated the constant support everyone was showing, while Hinata seemed more and more exhausted with every smile, every conversation.

The biggest surprise of the day, though, was probably the squashy package in Tsukishima's hands. It looked like it was wrapped in wrinkled paper from a past birthday—light blue with multicolored balloons and confetti—and he held it loosely in his hands and didn't look at it, as if embarrassed by its existence. Takeda and Ukai paused on the other side of the room, talking quietly to Mrs. Hinata. Yamaguchi, grinning broadly, nudged Tsukishima in the arm. When he resisted, Yamaguchi put both hands in the middle of Tsukishima's back and forced him over to the bed.

Kageyama and Hinata stared, unblinking. Tsukishima looked fixedly at a corner of the ceiling, his cheeks pink, his expression full of suffering. "Here." He dumped the package in Hinata's lap.

"Wow. Um, th-thanks, Tsukishima," Hinata said. His hands hovered over the package, as if not sure he was allowed to touch it.

Tsukishima glanced at his face, then looked away again. "It's just some stuff I had sitting around the house. It's no big deal."

Yamaguchi giggled and bumped Tsukishima's shoulder with his own. "Go on, open it."

"Ah, o-okay." Hinata scrabbled at the paper, finding a loose corner and ripping it open. The worn paper gave way easily, revealing two items. A large, soft plushy dinosaur—a stegosaurus—and a glossy oversized book about sharks.

"Wow." Hinata stared at the gifts in flabbergasted silence for moment. Then, "This is really nice, Tsukishima."

Tsukishima's eyebrow twitched. "I told you. They were just things I had sitting around. I don't need them anymore. I didn't do anything special for you. I'm just getting rid of stuff."

"Ah. Right." Hinata tucked the stegosaurus under his arm and centered the book in his lap. His face actually looked glum. "I'm not supposed to read right now."

"It's mostly pictures. You can look at those." Tsukishima pointed at the book. "The Lucifer Dogfish is on page twenty-three."

"Oh. Cool!"

Hinata raised his face to beam at Tsukishima. Tsukishima grunted in pain and took several steps backward, almost running into Yamaguchi as he did so. Yamaguchi had covered his mouth with both hands and looked he was about to die from smothering his laughter.

"All right. That's finished. I'm going now." Tsukishima turned to the door, snagging Yamaguchi's elbow as he went. "C'mon, Yamaguchi."

Yamaguchi allowed himself to be dragged backward, but he waved at Hinata and Kageyama before they disappeared out the door. "See you at school! Get better soon!"

"Come _on,_ Yamaguchi," Tsukishima's voice sounded, already in the hall, and they were gone.

Hinata and Kageyama looked at each other with wide eyes.

"Huh," Kageyama said.

"Yeah," Hinata answered.

Hinata squeezed the dinosaur under his arm and stared at the book in his lap. "Did you ever in a million years think that Tsukishima would ever give me a present, for any reason?"

"No."

"Me neither."

They fell silent.

Takeda-sensei and Coach Ukai came over to greet Hinata and wish him well. The conversation was kept brief—they could all see that Hinata was worn out and needed a nap. When they moved to leave, Kagayama rose from his chair to go with them.

Before he left, though, he turned back to Hinata. "Hey, where's your phone?"

Hinata's eyes had already slipped shut. He opened them, blinking dazedly. "My...phone? No idea. At home, I guess? Wherever they put my stuff. Why?"

Kageyama glanced around the room, but Hinata's school bag did not immediately appear before his eyes. It probably really was at home. "Just wanted to make sure you had my number."

He pulled out his own phone and scrolled through the contacts he'd entered at the beginning of the year and hadn't glanced at since. Ah, there was Hinata, under "Dumbass Redhead." He hit the dial button and let it ring. "There. Now you'll have my number in your call log. If you need to, you can get hold of me."

Hinata blinked again. "Why would I need to get hold of you?"

Kageyama turned away, cheeks heating. "I dunno. Just in case."

Takeda and Ukai were waiting patiently for him by the door. Kageyama moved over to them, then turned back one last time and gave Hinata a little wave with one hand. "Get better soon."

Hinata smiled. "Of course."

Kageyama gave him a tight smile in return. And they went.

X

It had occurred to Kageyama that he might someday regret ensuring that Hinata had his phone number and then encouraging him to call when he needed something. He had foreseen a day when a then-completely-healed Hinata bombarded him with texts and messages about buying pork buns or making sure the gym was open for Saturday practice or wanting to know what answer he had for problem five in the math homework, and other such inanities.

He hadn't realized that he would come to regret his impulsive action so very, very quickly.

The insistent ringing that woke Kageyama from a sound slumber had him slapping around his pillow in irritation, trying to shut off the alarm. His room was pitch black, much too early to be getting up. Had he set his alarm for the wrong time?

His hand finally landed on the thing making the noise, and Kageyama blinked and froze where he lay, feeling the shape of the object in his hand. It was his phone, not his alarm. The clock on his shelf told him that it was very, very early. Or very, very late, depending on your perspective. In either case, it was not a normal time to be calling someone for a phone conversation. And who would call Kageyama at any hour? Who did he even know? He'd barely ever used his phone as anything more than a portable clock until just a couple days ago...

Oh. Kageyama rubbed the sleep-grit from his eyes with his thumb and index finger, then raised the phone high enough to look at the ID. Yep. Dumbass Redhead.

Kageyama accepted the call and put the phone to his ear. "Oi, Hinata. This had better be important."

"Wow, your phone etiquette is amazing." Hinata's voice over the phone sounded kind of reedy and thin, not like his usual self. Kageyama narrowed his eyes in irritation. He was coming to really hate phones.

"Whatever, dumbass. Just tell me why you're calling me at this horrible hour."

"You told me to call if I needed to."

"Yeah, I did." Kageyama turned onto his back and stared up at the ceiling, doing his best to repress a sigh. "But what can you possibly need from me in the middle of the night? I'm not there at your house—I can't bring you a glass of water or pull up the blankets you dumped on the floor or anything like that. Why aren't you asleep?"

"You sound mad." Hinata's voice wavered. "Never mind, this was a bad idea..." His voice faded, as if he was moving the phone away in preparation of ending the call.

"Oi! Don't hang up, idiot!" Kageyama sat straight up in bed with the force of his exclamation.

Hinata's voice strengthened again. "But you're mad. I shouldn't have called."

"Yeah, but..." This time Kageyama did sigh. He slumped over, pressing his forehead into his hand. He was pretty much awake now, so he remembered that he'd made a promise to himself that he would do whatever he had to do to help Hinata get better. If that meant talking to him on the phone in the middle of the night when he'd much rather be sleeping, so be it.

"But you called me anyway," Kageyama said as reasonably as he could. He was quite proud of how even and calm his voice sounded, despite his agitation. "So you might as well tell me what it's about."

"Oh. Right. Okay." There was a rustling of cloth as if Hinata was moving restlessly around in his bed. When his voice came again, there was an odd, close, almost muffled quality to it. "The thing is... Well..."

Kageyama blinked. He thought maybe he recognized that quality of sound over the phone, the sudden absence of ambient room noise. "Hey. Are you hiding under your covers?"

A brief, embarrassed silence. "Maybe."

"Why?"

Another silence.

"And why did you call me in the first place? Stop hesitating and just tell me."

Another short silence, filled only with the sound of Hinata's breath, quick and labored. He seemed to be working up to an answer, though, so Kageyama waited.

"The thing is..." His voice was soft. Soft and hesitant and wavering, and not much like Hinata's voice at all. "I'm...scared. For no reason. And I thought maybe you could talk me out of it."

Kageyama blinked into the darkness. He would have expected almost anything else before this. "Scared?"

"Mm. Yeah."

"Of what?"

"I don't know, Kageyama. That's why I said 'for no reason.' Weren't you listening?"

The irritation was welcome. It sounded more like Hinata. Kageyama dug the heel of his palm into his eye, watching patterns of red and black and white burst in his vision. This made no sense and he didn't know what to do with it. "How long have you been feeling scared?"

"A...a while? I dunno. Sometimes I get too tired and forget, and when people are around it usually doesn't bother me. But it's dark and quiet now and everyone else is asleep and I can't make myself forget and so I called you and I'm _sorry,_ I didn't mean to wake you up and make you mad at me but honestly I already feel better just with you talking to me on the phone and being your normal stupid grumpy scary self so I guess it's working and is that okay with you or not? I need to know for reasons."

Kageyama sat still in the dark, his mind working furiously. Suddenly a number of things made sense. "You've been scared for...a while? Since you got hurt? This whole time?"

"Since somebody hurt me, yeah. I guess. Though I didn't know someone had done it, at first. But I know now and... I guess it makes sense that I'm scared? A little bit? It kind of helps to know that there's a reason. But also not, because I hate being scared and it won't go away and I don't know why it won't."

"Don't you feel safe at your house? The guy who did this is on the other side of the mountain. And he probably doesn't even know where you live."

Hinata made a frustrated sound that was somewhere between a squeak and wail. "I know! But it doesn't help!" Somehow he got across the impression that he was yelling even though his voice was barely above a whisper. "My dad told me that the guy is suspended and he's never gonna be allowed anywhere near me, ever, and I _know_ I live on the other side of an entire freaking mountain, and I'm still. So. Scared."

Kageyama fell backward onto his pillow, still holding his phone to his ear, his other hand clenched over his chest. Scared. Hinata was scared. He'd been attacked and injured, violence had been committed against him, he had to deal with all kinds of pain and weakness, time had been stolen from him that he would have to spend recovering, and now this, too. He was afraid, almost constantly, because of this horrible thing that had been done to him.

It wasn't fair. It was too much. It made Kageyama want to beat his fist against a wall until his knuckles bled, until he couldn't remember anymore why he was angry, until he didn't have to think about this, didn't have to understand, didn't have to know just how evil the world could be and just how much it could hurt him and hurt Hinata, an innocent person who had never done harm to anyone, and yet was still being forced to endure all of this suffering.

At least he understood, now, why Hinata had so badly needed to hold onto his hand, as well Nishinoya's hands when given the opportunity. It hadn't been disorientation or dizziness or anything so simple and physical. He'd been scared, and holding someone's hand had helped him feel safe.

But there. That was it. The solution to the problem.

"Hinata." Kageyama's hand loosened from its tight fist over his heart. "Go wake someone up and ask them to hold your hand."

Brief silence. "What? No."

Kageyama scowled. "You called me to see if I could help you, right? Well, that's what you need to do. Go wake up your mom or dad and have them hold your hand until you fall asleep."

"I'm not gonna do that." Hinata's voice was flat. At least he didn't sound scared anymore. "Because that's stupid and you're stupid for suggesting it."

Kageyama felt his face twitch. Dammit, Hinata. "It's not stupid, and I'm not stupid for suggesting it. It helped you at the hospital so it'll help you now, too."

"Eck...gah..." Hinata made several sounds that were not in Japanese, nor in any language Kageyama had ever heard. "I thought we weren't going to talk about that!"

"Well, I wasn't planning on it, until you called me up at ass thirty in the morning and asked me to help you stop feeling scared! Seriously, what were you expecting from this conversation?"

"I don't know! I thought you would _talk_ to me, not make stupid suggestions I would never, ever follow."

"It's not a stupid suggestion! It's what you need to do so you can feel better and get some sleep."

"Well, I'm not gonna do it, okay? I'm in high school now and I'm not gonna go wake up my parents and ask them to sing me lullabies because I'm a little _scared._ I have some dignity. I'm not a _baby."_

Kageyama punched the mattress at his side. "It's not about being a baby, you dumbass, dumbass Hinata. It's about doing what you need to do so you can rest and recover from your injury. If your ankle was twisted you'd wrap it up and put ice on it, right? So take responsibility, be a man, and _go ask your parents to hold your hand."_

"No."

"Dammit, Hinata!" That was it. Kageyama had had enough. He sat up in bed and swung his legs over the side, feet hitting the cold floor. "Dammit, Hinata, I will _come to your house."_

Stunned silence. "What?"

"I will wake my mom up—which I don't mind doing because I'm a _man—_and ask her to drive me to your house, and she'll do it, because she loves me, and then I will stand there in the dark and ring the doorbell until someone answers, which means that your parents will be awake anyway, and then I will come into your room and I'll sit by your bed and I will _hold your hand until you fall asleep,_ you massive, ridiculous, unbelievable _dumbass._ I will do it. I swear I will. Do not test me!"

"Okay, okay. Fine! Weirdo." There was a rapid rustling of fabric, and ambient room noise started coming over the line again. Kageyama was satisfied. Hinata wasn't hiding under the covers anymore.

"Are you heading to your parents' room?"

"Yes! Okay? I am." Kageyama could hear the soft thud of Hinata's bare feet on the floor, then the sliding of the door. "I'm going, I'm going. You can hang up if you want."

"Not until I hear your mom or dad's voice, so I know for sure you're doing it."

"Okay, fine." More soft footsteps, probably in the hall. Then they paused. Hinata's voice was suddenly both softer and clearer, as if he was pressing the phone closer to his mouth. "This isn't fair. I can't believe you're making me do this."

"It's the only way," Kageyama said resolutely. "At least for tonight."

"I don't want to do this. I don't want to bother them. I don't..." Hinata was silent for a moment. Somehow his voice got even lower. "I don't want to make them cry anymore."

Kageyama sighed. He slumped over, falling onto the bed on his side. "You're not the one making them cry. It was the punk bastard who hurt you."

"Yeah, but..." Hinata's voice was wavering badly again. He sounded like he was about to lose it. "I still don't like it. I feel like I'm making things bad for them."

"You aren't. You're their precious son and they would do anything for you. You make things better for them, every day, all the time, just like you make things better for everyone else you know."

Hinata breathed shakily into the phone for a moment. "Do you really mean that?"

"Yeah, I do." Kageyama yawned and pulled his legs up into his bed, under the covers. Now that the crisis had passed, he was getting sleepy again. "Now go ask them to hold your hand so you can feel safe and get some rest."

"Just for tonight, right?"

"Right. I'll come spend the night tomorrow, okay? Tell your parents."

"Okay."

Kageyama kept listening until he heard the sliding of another door, more soft footsteps, then Hinata's hesitant voice, his father's sleepy mumbles in response. Then he turned off the phone and went to sleep.


	11. Chapter 11

Kageyama stepped out of the car, hauling his heavy bag with him, and stared up at Hinata's house. It was nice-looking, not shabby but not fancy, comfortable and lived in. The plants in the front were well-tended and green, and the late afternoon sunlight bathed it all in golden light. He could easily imagine Hinata and his parents and little sister filling this house with their lives, their happiness and warmth and love for each other.

The car honked and Kageyama turned to wave good-bye as it drove away, then stepped to the door and rang the bell. The door opened almost immediately, and Mrs. Hinata gave him a big smile and welcomed him into the house with a sweeping wave of her hand. "Kageyama-kun! Come in, come in! The kids are in the main room—I'll show you there."

He bowed a polite greeting, but her back was already turned as she hurried into the house. Kageyama toed off his shoes as quickly as he could and followed, half-jogging for a few steps to catch up. He could hear voices, faint at first, then louder as they approached. Natsu-chan's high little voice was easy to recognize, and the other...

Kageyama's eyes widened as they reached the wide opening to the main room and he looked inside. "Tanaka-senpai?"

Tanaka grinned at him from where he sat cross-legged on the floor, surrounded by toys and coloring books and brightly colored markers and crayons. Natsu had climbed up on his back as if he was a jungle gym and was currently hanging from his neck with a monkey's grace, and... Kageyama had to blink, unable to believe it. Tanaka's face sported several vivid stickers and marker drawings clearly created by Natsu's hand, vaguely resembling butterflies and rainbows.

"Bald nii-san!" Natsu commanded, tiny bare feet digging into Tanaka's back as she tried to climb higher up his body. "Hold still! You're too wiggly!"

Tanaka grunted as her forearm threatened to cut off his air, but he was still grinning. He reached up and grabbed her hands, providing leverage, and bent his back to make it easier for her to climb on him. She guffawed in approval and walked up the inclined surface, then settled herself on his shoulders and raised her fists, crowing in triumph. "I climbed the mountain! All by myself! Did you see, nii-chan?"

This was directed at Hinata, who lay on the sofa against the wall. He was lounging on a pile of pillows and blankets, one leg thrown up over the back of the sofa, arms akimbo and head cushioned securely against the sofa's arm. He even had the stuffed stegosaurus from Tsukishima hanging out with him, which made Kageyama blink yet again.

Hinata looked tired, his eyelids heavy and his body limp, but he still had a grin for his little sister and her antics. "Yeah, I saw. Great job, Nacchan!" He gave her a big thumbs up and a look of extreme big-brother pride.

Then he waved at Kageyama. "Hi, Kageyama. Good to see you."

Kageyama nodded back, still not sure what to make of all this. Natsu kicked her feet against Tanaka's chest, glorying in her defeat of the "mountain." Mrs. Hinata smiled so wide and sweet that Kageyama was surprised that an entire flock of birds did not immediately appear and begin singing in chorus.

At least she saw fit to explain the situation to Kageyama. "Tanaka-kun has spent the entire day here, entertaining Nacchan so Shouyou could get as much rest as possible. Wasn't that kind?"

Kageyama nodded mutely. She reached for his bag, tugging on the strap. "Let me take that to Shouyou's room for you. Supper will be ready in about twenty minutes. Will you be staying for the meal, Tanaka-kun?"

Tanaka nodded eagerly. "Yes, please. My sister will pick me up afterward. I'll text her and let her know." He looked at Kageyama. "Mrs. Hinata's cooking is _amazing."_

Kageyama nodded again. He let Mrs. Hinata take his bag.

Once she was gone, he moved over to Hinata's sofa and sat at his feet—there was plenty of room, seeing as it was an enormous sofa and Hinata was not an enormous person. Natsu bounced on Tanaka's shoulders, demanding a ride, and he reached up to grab her legs so she wouldn't fall. Kageyama watched them carefully.

"You've been here all day, huh?" Maybe Hinata hadn't had a chance to feel scared and lonely, then.

Tanaka shrugged, bouncing Natsu on his shoulders. "I'm suspended. Might as well take advantage of the time."

"That makes sense."

"Nii-chan can't play with me," Natsu declared, almost pouting. "But bald nii-san came, so it's okay!" And she hugged his head.

_Good grief._ Kageyama's heart flew into about a hundred pieces. Hinata and Tanaka didn't look much better. Natsu bent over and rubbed her nose on the top of Tanaka's head.

Dammit, _no._ Kageyama was _not_ going to be jealous of Tanaka for managing to befriend Hinata's little sister with such ease. It wasn't Kageyama's fault that she met him in horrible, terrible circumstances that were practically guaranteed to ensure she didn't like him. He'd win her over eventually. Somehow.

"Oi, Kageyama." Hinata stretched out his bare foot and nudged Kageyama in the side to draw his attention. Kageyama did his best not to recoil in disgust. "What's with the grumpy face all of a sudden?"

Kageyama whipped his head around to stare at him. "...Grumpy?"

"Your face was all 'geeehhh' and 'bwah' and 'ugu' and stuff."

"Speak Japanese!" Hinata's foot stretched for him again, toes wiggling repulsively, and Kageyama slapped it away. "That wasn't a grumpy face, anyway. It was determination."

"Hah? Determination, you say?" Hinata's tone was disbelieving, but his eyes were sparkling. And his gross foot was making another play for Kageyama's side.

"Ugh, yes!" Kageyama turned sideways and grabbed Hinata's ankle to fend him off. His toes kept wiggling in the air. "It's not my fault if you can't recognize determination when you see it."

"I think it's your fault for being bad at facial expressions."

"Of course you think that! You're an idiot!" Hinata's other foot was now coming after Kageyama, too. Kageyama grabbed that ankle with his other hand and held on, bending his head back to avoid any accidental touches. Hinata was wiggling all ten toes at him now. Furiously.

"Kageyaaamaaa," Hinata whined. "Don't call me an idiot. I have a head injury, it's not faaaiirrrr."

"You were an idiot before the head injury and you'll be an idiot after the head injury, so of course it's fair!"

"Kageyaaammaaaaa. Be niiicceee to meeee."

"Idiot!"

A sudden peal of high-pitched laughter interrupted the insanity, and Kageyama whipped his head back around to the middle of the room. Natsu was bent over Tanaka's head, helpless with giggles, and Tanaka was shaking hard with his head bowed, trying to contain his own mirth. Kageyama's eyes widened. He had completely forgotten that he had intended to make Natsu like him, instead instantly starting the stupidest fight that had ever been fought with her big brother.

Natsu didn't seem at all bothered or frightened, though. Instead, she was laughing hysterically. As Kageyama watched, she slid limply off Tanaka's shoulders and down into his lap. Tanaka cradled her there, bent halfway over her as if in protectiveness, but it was just because he was laughing so hard, himself.

"Grumpy!" Natsu gasped out between giggles, pointing a shaking finger at Kageyama. "Grumpy nii-san!"

"That's right, Natsu-chan!" Tanaka scooped her up in his arms and rubbed his face on her belly for a moment as if she were a kitten. She squealed even more. Tanaka then freed one finger to point at Kageyama, too. His eyes were actually tearing up from laughing so hard. "It's grumpy nii-san! You should never, ever call him anything else!"

"Grumpy nii-san! Grumpy nii-san!"

Kageyama let go of Hinata's ankles and just stared at them in astonishment.

Well, at least Natsu didn't hate him anymore.

X

After supper (which was, as promised, incredibly good), Tanaka, Kageyama, and Hinata went outside and sat on the stoop to wait for Saeko. Kageyama hadn't been sure it was a good idea at first, but Mr. and Mrs. Hinata both said that Hinata should get some air and they were happy to clean up the meal. The sun was setting and long, thick shadows were beginning to stretch across the landscape, and the three of them sat there and enjoyed the air and the sounds of the birds and the breeze.

Hinata had perked up with the meal, and he was sitting relatively upright on the stoop, his elbows on his knees, his back only slightly bowed. Kageyama and Tanaka mirrored him, one on either side. They hadn't said a word as they came out here and sat down, choosing their positions naturally, but Kageyama didn't have to talk to Tanaka to know what was going on. It was silly, maybe, to be worried out here in the cool and the quiet of a lovely evening, but neither of them was going to let anything get at Hinata while they were there. Anything that tried would have to go through them, first.

But now that Hinata's energy was up, Tanaka's seemed to be draining. His weariness from the day before was returning, his quiet tension, the way his shoulders were too tight and his hands too still. Kageyama found himself watching Tanaka as much as he watched the road. Words nudged at his lips, wanting to spill out, but he couldn't seem to find the right ones. He wished Suga was here.

There was a heaviness in the air, suddenly, a feeling of portent, of grief. They had all lost something when Hinata's head hit the wall, and they were never going to get it back. A kind of innocence, wrenched from their hands and shredded before their eyes. Some sense of invulnerability and youth, some sort of trust that the world was on their side. It had shattered, it had crumbled, it was gone.

"I'm sorry, Hinata," Tanaka said.

The others both turned their heads to look at him, though they didn't otherwise move.

"What for?" Hinata asked, completely baffled. Kageyama didn't have to ask. He knew. He felt it too.

"For not stopping it." The words were heavy, and they hung in the heavy air, sinking slowly toward the earth.

"Stopping…" Hinata stared, the words dying his lips.

"I'm your senpai. It's my job to look out for you. How many times have you hid behind me from some scary dude we happened to meet? It always made me happy to be strong for you, to be your senpai. But the one time it really mattered, I wasn't there."

"You were… Tanaka-senpai…" Hinata held still for moment. Then he reached out and put his hand on Tanaka's arm.

"I don't blame you."

"I know you don't." Tanaka looked at Hinata for a moment. His eyes were moist, and he looked away, staring toward the road. "Somehow that almost makes it worse."

"It was like an earthquake," Kageyama said. They both looked at him, and he did his best to meet their eyes. "No one could have stopped it."

"Maybe so, but…" Tanaka swiped at his eyes with his fingers and looked away again. "I can't stop thinking about it."

Right. Kageyama knew this one, too. He nodded decisively. "That's because your brain is allergic."

They both stared at him again. This time neither one looked away.

Kageyama flushed. Words! Why were they so difficult? "You don't… It's just… Wind," he said. "It's wind and you have to let it go through."

"Wind…" Tanaka echoed blankly.

"Bad wind," Kageyama clarified.

They blinked at him, almost in unison.

Kageyama threw his hands in the air in frustration. "Just... Ah!" He reached across Hinata toward Tanaka, beckoning with his fingers. "Give me your phone."

"My phone?"

"Yes, your phone."

Tanaka fumbled in his pocket and drew it out. Kageyama took it and scrolled through the contacts. As he expected, it was there. Why wouldn't it be?

"There." He selected the contact but did not hit the dial button, then handed the phone back to Tanaka. "When your sister picks you up, call him."

"Suga-san?"

Kageyama nodded vigorously. "Yes. Call him. Talk to him." He considered for a moment. "Maybe Takeda-sensei, too. He understands stuff."

Tanaka stared at his phone for a moment, then put it back into his pocket. "All right."

He sounded like he was humoring Kageyama, not like he meant to do it. Kageyama reached over Hinata's head and punched him in the upper arm. "I mean it! Call him!"

Tanaka actually recoiled slightly, then rubbed his arm where he'd been hit. "Okay, okay! I will!"

Hinata laughed at it all, bright and sparkling. Kageyama pointed a finger at him, half-rising to loom over him. "You should, too!"

"Okay, fine!"

Kageyama sat back down, huffing in satisfaction. He could still see Tanaka rubbing his arm in the corner of his eye.

And Hinata continued to giggle. "Wow, Kageyama, you're such a bully. And you're so bad at speaking reassuringly! Last night, too."

Kageyama grunted. "I was right though, wasn't I?"

Hinata made a noise that could have been assent. Kageyama was willing to take it.

Tanaka shook his head. "You are both such weird kouhai."

"But we're _your_ kouhai, right?" Hinata asked.

Tanaka paused. He really looked at him, then, really met his eyes. "Yeah."

His voice was soft. And strong. And more like himself.

Hinata sort of launched himself at Tanaka. Not very hard and rather awkwardly, since they were sitting next to each other at the time. But Hinata's arms wrapped around Tanaka's torso and held on tight, and after a second Tanaka put his arms around Hinata in return, and Kageyama sat there and felt stupid, but also kind of nice about it all.

"And you were there," Hinata mumbled into Tanaka's shoulder.

Tanaka went still. "Hah?"

"You were there." Hinata drew back and looked up, meeting his eyes. "You said you weren't there, but you were. I remember. I remember your voice. Everyone was upset, but you were the most. And even though, even though I knew that something was wrong and something bad had happened to me, I felt safer because I knew you were there and you were looking out for me."

Tanaka shook his head, not like he didn't believe him, but like he didn't understand. "That's not what I…"

"It's true, though," Kageyama interrupted. He didn't like to think about that time directly after the incident (didn't like to think about any of it, but some things he didn't have a choice over), but he remembered. "When I ran to Hinata. Right after… Right after. I heard you behind me, and I knew I didn't have to worry about that bastard who did this. I knew you were going to take care of it. So I went straight to Hinata and I didn't even look at that guy until much later. Because you were there, and you were looking out for us."

Hinata nodded. "You were there."

After a moment, Tanaka nodded in return, accepting. Then he looked to the road, squinting his eyes against the dying light as he watched for his sister. The three of them sat there in comfortable silence, enjoying the breeze.


	12. Chapter 12

It occurred to Kageyama much too late—when he was already deeply into the heart of it—that he didn't know the etiquette for a proper sleepover. He vaguely remembered a couple of birthday sleepovers from grade school, the kind where the birthday boy's mother had made him invite all the boys in the class, but those had been a kind of carefully controlled chaos and didn't have much bearing on having a sleepover with a single high school friend. He maybe should have thought it through more carefully before he invited himself over to Hinata's house, but at the time he had only been occupied with setting Hinata's mind at ease so he could finally hang up the phone and go back to sleep.

Fortunately, even an injured, exhausted, somewhat unstable Hinata had no difficulties at all with social situations that should be awkward. He just powered through them with a sunny grin and a bounce in his step, leading the way for those who were a little slower to adapt. And so it was tonight.

Not long after Saeko picked up Tanaka, Hinata's energy started to flag, and his parents suggested that the boys should retire for the night. So Hinata grabbed Kageyama's arm and dragged him off, chattering cheerfully about nothing at all, carrying the stuffed stegosaurus under his other arm. Kageyama let himself be dragged, both because he didn't know where Hinata's room was and because it was refreshing to see Hinata acting so much like himself.

"I'm sorry my room's such a mess," Hinata said as they traveled down the hallway. "You'll see when we get there but...ah, here it is. Also I didn't get out a futon for you yet, but we'll take care of it."

Hinata slid open the door and stepped inside, turning on the lights to augment the last rays of the sun still slanting in the window. Kageyama stood in the doorway and blinked around for a moment. The room was, as promised, an absolute disaster area. The bed looked like it hadn't been made in weeks, blankets and pillows bunched up in a series of mounds and hills, and clothes and volleyball equipment littered the floor. Most eye-catching was the rather large pile of stuffed animals against one wall. Kageyama recognized most of them from Hinata's hospital room. The only areas of the room that looked tidy were Hinata's desk in the corner and the futon that occupied the middle of the floor.

"Oh, my mom or dad must have set it up for us already," Hinata said, nudging the futon with one foot. "That was nice of them." He gave Kageyama a somewhat anxious look, which Kageyama didn't get at all. "I usually take care of my guests myself, I promise."

Kageyama couldn't prevent a tiny snort. "It's fine. I don't care." He found it dumbfounding...and also maybe a bit endearing...how Hinata still hadn't seemed to figure out that his parents were all but tripping over themselves to make things easier for him. Doing chores Hinata usually did, setting up a futon for a guest, welcoming a bunch of high-strung volleyball-playing teenagers into their home just on the chance that they would help their son feel better—it was all rolled up in the same big ball of parental love and concern.

Maybe Hinata didn't notice it because it was normal for him, though. His parents always cared for him a great deal, so an extra level of devotion did not make him sit up and take notice. It was good, if that was the case. It made Kageyama's chest feel warm all the way through to know that Hinata had such excellent parents.

"Oh, but I can get your bag for you!" Hinata noticed the bag where his mother had left it at the foot of the bed and moved over to pick it up. Kageyama reached out to stop him, but wasn't quite fast enough. He had to watch where he was going, for one thing, while Hinata pranced through the mess on his floor without looking, obviously familiar with the placement of every dropped shirt, every loose knee pad.

Hinata grunted as he dragged at the bag's strap. "Urgh, this is heavy. Did you pack a bunch of bricks in here? Planning to help my dad build that patio he's been wanting?"

"I packed for the weekend, dumbass." Kageyama picked his way through the mess and took the bag from Hinata's hands before he had quite succeeded in lifting it off the floor. Hinata's weakness was a little troubling, but Kageyama did his best to ignore it. Surely he would strengthen as he healed. "It's Friday. I'm going to stay over tomorrow night, too."

Hopefully two nights would be enough. If Hinata was still having trouble after that, Kageyama would talk to the rest of the team about setting up some sort of rotating schedule. After seeing Tanaka today, and knowing that others planned to visit over the weekend, he was sure there would be no shortage of volunteers.

"Oh." Hinata flexed his hands in the air, squinting at them as if befuddled by his inability to lift the bag when Kageyama picked it up so easily. "I guess I lost track of which day it is. Being out of school is weird."

"Yeah." Kageyama backed up a step, his bag bumping against his leg almost hard enough to throw him off balance. Well, he had stuffed it really, really full. He hadn't known what he would need, so he brought almost everything just in case.

"Usually I would ask if you wanted to watch a movie or play a video game," Hinata said, staring absently out the window. "Or we could play cards or a board game or something. Or...you know, sleepover stuff, especially on a Friday night when we can sleep in tomorrow. But I'm not supposed to do any of that right now. Sorry."

"Hinata…" Kageyama started. _You don't have to apologize,_ he was going to say. _This isn't a normal sleepover so it's not going to follow the normal rules. You want to be a good host because that's how you are, but I'm not here to be entertained._

He'd forgotten. Proper etiquette really didn't apply in this situation. They were going to have to make it up as they went along. But Hinata and Kageyama did that a lot, so this wasn't new.

Hinata straightened. "But just because I can't do anything fun doesn't mean you have to join me!" He turned sharply toward Kageyama, so suddenly that Kageyama started a bit. "You can…"

Then he reeled, stumbled, and almost went down. Kageyama reached out and grabbed his upper arms, wincing when the bag he'd dropped landed on his foot. Hinata was pale and shaking, his knees bending beneath him. Kageyama pushed him back to the bed and made him sit, then crouched next to him, still holding onto his arms.

"Hinata…" The word was uttered in an entirely different tone, now. Kageyama had never heard his own voice sound quite so high.

"I'm...I'm okay." Hinata's head was bowed, wavering to and fro like a reed in a breeze. He lifted one hand and fumbled for Kageyama's sleeve, sliding off several times before he managed to snag a corner of fabric in his fingers. "Just...dizzy. I got dizzy. It happens. I'm okay."

Kageyama knelt there silently, listening to Hinata struggle to even his breathing, feeling the way his skinny arms trembled in Kageyama's grip. He wanted to scold Hinata. He wanted to yell at him for being a dumbass, for taking stupid risks with his body when he was barely out of the hospital, when he was supposed to be letting himself recover from a serious injury. If they were talking over the phone or something, maybe he would.

But kneeling here as he was, so close that he could feel every shiver that rocked Hinata's frame, hear every puff of strangled breath, see every droplet of clammy sweat breaking out on his skin… Kageyama didn't feel like yelling at all. He kind of wanted to cry, if anything.

Hinata's head was bowed so far over that even kneeling next to him, Kageyama couldn't see his face. All he saw was a bit of his forehead. The dark purple of a livid bruise, fading to red and yellow on the outside, mottled and ugly, with a tiny scab in the middle where it had bled. The place where Hinata had hit the wall. Hinata's grip on Kageyama's sleeve failed, and his hands fell to his lap, half-curled and empty, shaking like the rest of him.

Kageyama glanced around the room. The stuffed stegosaurus was on the floor a step or two away from the door, dropped there when Hinata had decided that something else was more important. It was easy to see how the room had reached its current state of disorder. Kageyama let go of Hinata long enough to take three steps over, grab the dinosaur, and bring it back.

He put it in Hinata's lap, compelled by some urge he didn't quite understand. Hinata's empty hands rose, accepting, curled around the plush figure, and squeezed tight. Somehow it seemed better that way.

Kageyama sat next to Hinata on the bed, close enough to grab him if he started to collapse or anything. He waited until the shaking had subsided, until it seemed like most of the dizziness had passed. Even then, Hinata remained where he was, head bowed, hands clutching that dumb stuffed toy.

"Hinata..." Kageyama spoke softly and slowly. He wanted this to be very, very clear. "You don't have to take care of me right now. I can see that's how sleepovers usually work for you—you invite a friend over and you come up with activities and the two of you have fun all night long until you can't keep your eyes open anymore. Someday when you're better maybe we can do that. I've never had a sleepover like that and I'm sure it's great.

"But that's not why I'm here. You don't need to take care of me. I'm here to take care of you."

Hinata chuckled, wet and choked and harsh, not much like laughter at all. "Kageyama. So embarrassing."

Kageyama scuffed his foot on floor. So what? It was the truth. "I'm sorry you feel like I'm making things awkward for you," he offered as a compromise. It wasn't much of an apology because he really didn't feel apologetic about this. "If you weren't such a wimp about asking your parents for help the whole thing could have been avoided."

"Kageyama! So embarrassing!" Hinata flopped carefully onto his back, sideways across the bed, and raised the stegosaurus to cover his face.

Kageyama simply turned his head to keep watching him. "How did it go last night, by the way? Once you finally became manly enough to ask your dad to hold your hand?"

"It sounds...so weird when you say it like that," Hinata said. "So, so weird."

"Well?"

"For one thing, I didn't straight out ask my dad to hold my hand," Hinata said, a touch of belligerence in his voice. "That's the weirdest. You're the weirdest for wanting me to do that. But I did tell him that I was scared and I couldn't sleep, so he got up and made me tea and we sat on the sofa in the living room. And yeah, eventually he ended up hugging me to his side and I fell asleep like that."

Kageyama grunted. Yeah, that would probably work even better than just holding hands. He hadn't thought of that. Hinata's parents really were amazing. "Your father is a great man," he said, because it seemed like something Hinata should know, and he wasn't sure Hinata did.

Hinata lowered the stegosaurus from his face and hugged it to his chest, looking an awful lot like a little kid seeking comfort from a favorite toy. Kageyama decided that he would never, ever comment on it. Hinata was having problems with feeling constantly scared, maybe because of a chemical imbalance in his brain, maybe just because someone had hurt him out of the blue with no reason. If carrying around a stuffed animal made it easier for him, Kageyama would do his best to make sure Hinata was never embarrassed by it.

Hinata was looking at Kageyama, though, his eyes thoughtful. "What are your parents like? I don't think I've ever met them."

"Um." Kageyama looked away, blinking. He hadn't expected that at all.

After a moment, he lowered himself down to lay next to Hinata, sideways on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. This was what people did at sleepovers, right? They stayed up late talking about stupid things until they were tired enough to sleep. Kageyama could participate in this particular tradition, if it would help. "They're...you know. They're my parents. They work really hard and they take care of me. Lately they've been extra kind to me, too."

Hinata turned his head to look at Kageyama's face. "Extra kind? What does that mean?"

Kageyama kept looking at the ceiling. "My mom drove me to the hospital that one night I showed up late to visit you. She did something amazing in the hallway that kept people from bothering us and kicking us out, too. And just now, my dad drove me over here to your house. I thought I might have to bike or something, but they wouldn't let me."

They had spent the entire drive talking, Kageyama's father asking questions about his school, his club, his friends, and Kageyama doing his best not to stammer all over the place as he replied. It had all been a bit of a shock. He couldn't remember the last time he'd had such a long conversation with his father. With either parent. But his dad had seemed genuinely interested, so Kageyama did his best to answer all of his questions.

"Giving you rides is being extra kind?" Hinata was staring at him.

Kageyama flushed and looked away. "It is when you're as busy as my parents are. They're taking time to do things for me. It's really nice."

Hinata made a thoughtful noise. Then he stroked his hand over the stegosaurus's head as if petting a small animal. It was Kageyama's turn to stare.

"Why do you like that stuffed dinosaur so much?" Kageyama asked, suddenly curious. "You got lots of other stuffed animals from people. Why that one?"

Hinata shrugged. "I dunno. It's...a good size."

Kageyama eyed it assessingly. It did seem to fit in Hinata's arms as if made for the purpose, neither too large nor too small. "But it's from...Tsukishima," he couldn't help pointing out.

"It's from the team," Hinata said. "I got a lot of stuffed animals from people—which is weird by the way, and I'm not sure how it happened, I think one person started it and it snowballed from there—but most of them were from my family and my friends from before Karasuno. And some of the neighbor ladies. And a couple from shopkeepers in the area. And…"

"Okay, I get it."

"But this was the only one from the team. So...I like it a lot. That's all."

Kageyama nodded and stared at the ceiling. From Hinata's perspective, that made sense. Kageyama didn't understand it, but he wouldn't complain about something that was helping.

"Speaking of being extra kind…" Hinata poked his shoulder with one finger, and Kageyama looked over to meet his eyes again. "Why are you being like this? Giving me your phone number and telling me to call and threatening to come to my house and hold my hand—oh, and _actually_ holding my hand in the hospital—and inviting yourself over for a sleepover so you can 'take care of me...' What's with that, huh? This entire thing has been extremely weird, but you are definitely the weirdest. I thought you hated me."

Kageyama frowned. "I never hated you. I thought you were annoying and loud and wasting your potential, and you pissed me off and made me crazy, but I never hated you."

Hinata rolled his eyes. "Yeah, okay. But 'not hating' someone doesn't automatically lead to all of this."

Kageyama squinted at him. Was he really going to force him to lay all out like this? Whatever. He could say out loud. It wasn't a big deal. "You're my friend, Hinata."

Instead of reacting like this was already obvious, though, Hinata gaped at him. "I am? When did that happen?"

"I don't know." Kageyama sighed. Hinata suddenly seemed uncomfortably close. He put his hands by his side and pushed himself upright, turning sideways so he sat cross-legged on the bed, looking down at Hinata. "It's weird for me, too, okay? I don't…" He had to look away, flushing again. The sun outside was almost gone, twilight seeping in to cover the day. "I don't have a lot of friends," he admitted. He looked back to Hinata. "But you are one, somehow, and that means something to me, so I have to make sure you stick around."

Hinata's stared at him, wide-eyed and silent.

Kageyama's shoulders slumped. "And also because we need you on the volleyball team," he muttered. "You're the best decoy."

But that wasn't the first thing he'd said. It wasn't the first thing that had come to his mind. If it was only about volleyball, sure, Kageyama could have convinced himself that he was doing all of this for the team, because they needed Hinata, because they were better off with him than without him and Kageyama would do anything for volleyball, up to and including holding the hand of another high school boy when he was scared. But that wasn't why, honestly. He had thought of that reason last, and only because he was trying to come up with something more than just _You're my friend._

It seemed to satisfy Hinata, though. He grinned suddenly, wide and bright and true. It was the first smile Kageyama had seen from him since the incident that seemed real, that seemed broad enough to match the grin he'd given to his little classmate right before that bastard hurt him.

"Okay," he said.

And that was enough.


	13. Chapter 13

_Bzzt. Bzzt._

Kageyama lay on his stomach on the futon, pillow tucked under his chest, trying to read the book from his literature class. The room was dim, Hinata's desk lamp brought down to the floor to light only a small area in front of him. He hadn't been ready for sleep as early as Hinata had been, but he was getting really close, since he was still worn out from his over-practice the other day. And the book was definitely helping to put him to sleep. He'd been stuck on the same paragraph for several minutes now, reading it over and over, comprehension never quite sinking in. What a dumb book.

_Bzzt._

"Kageyama."

Kageyama glanced up toward the bed. Hinata was leaning over the edge of the mattress, looking down at him. Kageyama scowled. "Go to sleep. You're supposed to be asleep already."

"I kind of was, but I woke up." Hinata lifted the cellphone in his hand, waving it gently back and forth. "Kenma is texting me."

Oh, that's what those annoying buzzing noises had been. "Tell him you're supposed to be asleep."

"I was gonna, but looking at the screen is making my head hurt. Would you read the texts to me and answer back? It's been days since I texted him. He's probably worried."

"How much do you guys text?" Kageyama asked, a note of wonder in his voice. He couldn't imagine voluntarily spending minutes on end staring at that tiny screen, tapping out messages one character at a time. That would be even worse than talking to someone over the phone.

"Um. Kind of a lot, actually. Almost every day, at least to say hello." Hinata wiggled the phone in the air, still holding it out to Kageyama. "Please help me?"

It was the weariness in his voice that did Kageyama in. He was asking for help, and he was also fully prepared for Kageyama to refuse. It twisted something up in Kageyama's chest. So he reached out and grabbed the phone, though not without a low growl of irritation. "Fine! But you'll have to tell me how to do it."

Hinata blinked at him, too tired to have more of a reaction. "Don't you ever text?"

"Not if I can avoid it, no. And your phone is probably different than mine anyway." Kageyama opened the phone and hit a few buttons at random, hoping something would happen.

"No, don't, that's the power button—"

A little pop-up appeared on the screen.

Hinata's head thumped down face-first into his blankets, only his tousled hair now visible over the edge of the bed. "Hit cancel," came his muffled instruction, the weariness in his voice now increased tenfold.

Kageyama did what he said, then followed Hinata's further directions—still muffled in his bedding—to find the text screen, then the messages from Kozume Kenma. He scrolled upward through them, eyebrows raising at the number and variety. Finally he found the texts from the day of the incident. "Okay, I got it."

Hinata turned his head enough to uncover his mouth. "Read them to me?"

"Fine. But then you go back to sleep."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever you say."

Kageyama squinted at the screen. The too-bright light and fuzzy characters were probably going to give him a headache, too. "Okay, Tuesday afternoon: 'Today at practice Kai dared Yamamoto to eat a beetle Yaku found in the club room. He did.' Then, later that night, 'Beat the new Mon Hun. How's your run going?' Wednesday: 'Inuoka says to say hi. So hi.' Then later, 'Did you lose your phone again? Answer when you can.' Then on Thursday, 'You're not answering emails either. What's going on?' And..." Kageyama scrolled through the messages. "Yeah, the rest are just him asking where you are and if you're okay."

_Bzzt._ A new message appeared. Kageyama squinted at it. "This one says that he'll send Kuroo out here on the train to check on you if you don't answer."

Hinata giggled, fuzzy with weariness, half-muffled in his blankets. "Kuroo would do it, too, just because it might be fun."

Kageyama shook his head. The Nekoma team was really weird. "Okay, what do you want me to answer?" _And how do I use these little buttons?_ he didn't add. Surely he could figure that part out on his own.

"Well, you should probably let him know that you're not me, and that I'm not gonna be able to use my phone for a few days. The doctor did say I could start reading and stuff a little at a time, as long as it didn't make anything worse, so I'll be able to text him soon."

It. Took. Forever. But Kageyama finally finished tapping out the last character in the ridiculously long message and hit the send button. He huffed out a sigh of relief and let the phone drop next to the book forgotten in the lamplight. "Okay. Got it. You can go back to sleep now."

Hinata's only response was a muffled wheeze. Kageyama looked at the bed and found him sprawled out, one hand hanging over the edge of the bed, the rest of his body lost in the dimness. Sounded like he was already asleep, though, so it was all fine.

_Bzzt._

"Oh, what now?" Kageyama picked up the phone.

_WHAT DO YOU MEAN DOCTOR WHAT HAPPENED TO SHOUYOU AND WHO IS THIS WHY DO YOU HAVE SHOUYOU'S PHONE_

Kageyama groaned and dropped his face into his hand, then started tapping again. His thumbs were beginning to hurt. He sent the answer in a quick series of short texts, hoping to get them out before Kozume interrupted again.

_Im kageyama the karasuno setter_

_Hinata is okay but has a head injury_

_Thats why he cant use the phone_

_I have his phone because im at his house_

A brief pause, then: _WHY ARE YOU AT HIS HOUSE_

_Im spending the night because_

_HOW DID HE GET A HEAD INJURY? Did someone spike a ball in his face again?_

Kageyama stared at the phone. Kozume seemed to be calming down, using punctuation Kageyama hadn't even figured out how to find yet, but that question... He didn't want to answer it.

He didn't want to hurt yet another person with this.

_Was it you, Kageyama? Did you serve into his face?_

_NO_ At least that one was quick to send.

The answer was impressively quick for being so long and involved. _He thought it was funny to tell me about all the times he got hit in the face. We were keeping a tally. It doesn't seem funny now._

Kageyama closed his eyes for a moment, scrunching his face up in pain. Not telling the truth wasn't really going to help, either.

This message was even harder to tap out than the others had been, and it wasn't just because his thumbs were aching abominably. _A bastard attacked him not anyone on the team just a damn bully from school_

The phone was silent for a long time. Kageyama massaged his thumbs and stared at the tiny screen, wondering if this was the end of the conversation. He tried to imagine what Kozume was doing on the other end of the line. Looking off into space, trying to absorb the news? Pacing around his room? Staring at his phone, too?

_Bzzt._ This message was much shorter. _I'll call tomorrow._

Kageyama's chest hurt. Yeah, this was too much for texting. And he understood that Kozume would want to hear Hinata's voice for himself. _Okay ill tell him_

_All right. Take care of Shouyou._

Kageyama stared at the last text for a long time. Why did everything have to _ache_ so much? It was all so massively unfair.

Much too late, he answered. It didn't matter if Kozume was even going to see it or notice it in his phone. He needed to send it.

_I will._

Now it was a promise not only made to himself.

X

Kageyama woke in the middle of the night, and for a moment he didn't know where he was. The room was dark and quiet, and his muscles ached everywhere. His bed didn't seem as comfortable as usual and...it wasn't in the usual place? What...

Ah. He was sleeping on a futon in Hinata's room.

Kageyama looked around the room, wondering what had woken him. His body definitely wasn't rested, and he didn't need the toilet. He hadn't had a nightmare, either, not that he remembered, anyway, and he tended to remember those. So why did he feel tense and on-edge? Some sense of danger must have woken him, some feeling that there was something he had to do...

A tiny, almost inaudible whimper cut through the quiet of the darkened room. Hinata. Kageyama sat up, looking toward the bed. His eyes had almost adjusted to the pale light coming in the window, but all he could see on Hinata's bed was a confused jumble of limbs and disarranged fabric. Kageyama got up on his knees and moved closer, trying to see.

Hinata had kicked off his blankets, and his pillow had landed on the nightstand above his head. He was curled up in a tight ball, clutching that stegosaurus to his chest, his eyes squeezed shut, his expression screwed up into a grimace. As Kageyama watched, his entire body twitched as in the grip of a relentless dream, and he whimpered again.

"Hinata." Kageyama reached out to shake his shoulder, but held back at the last second. He'd done some reading about concussions since that day, and he knew you weren't supposed to shake someone with a head injury. Instead, he laid his hand flat on Hinata's trembling upper arm, pressing as insistently as he dared. "Hinata, wake up. It's just a dream."

Hinata just shivered, refusing to wake. Kageyama reached out with his other hand and carefully patted the top of Hinata's head, hoping that might have an effect. Hinata's hair was damp with sweat. "It's a dream," he said again. "You're having a dream. I'm sure it's scary and lonely, but it's not real. I'm here, and your parents are in the other room, and you're absolutely safe. I promise. Nothing bad will happen to you as long as we're here. No one gets to hurt you again. Never. It's just a dream."

Instead of coming out of it, Hinata squeezed himself in even tighter, shivering harder. The next whimper turned into a small, choked sob, and a couple of tears leaked out of his eyes. Kageyama's heart seized up in his chest. For a second he couldn't breathe.

"Oh, don't do that," he said when he could talk again, his throat tight, his voice a low plea. "Don't do that, Hinata."

It was no good. Hinata couldn't hear him. The dream that had hold of him was too strong, too overwhelming. Kageyama's mind was a blank white void, and he was coming close to panicking over his inability to fix this. He wanted to fix it so, so much.

He wasn't equipped for this. What would Sugawara-san say? Perhaps more importantly, what would Hinata's dad _do?_

Probably hug Hinata. A lot. Kageyama wrinkled his nose and narrowed his eyes, staring at the Hinata-ball on the bed. He wasn't sure how that solution would work right now.

Well, first things first—Hinata was definitely cold. Kageyama could fix that. He retrieved the pillow from the nightstand and carefully lifted Hinata's head to slip it underneath, then fetched all of the mussed-up blankets that had been tossed about. He stood up to flap each blanket in the air, then drew it up over the Hinata-ball and smoothed it out over Hinata's shoulders, one at a time. He was slightly tempted to go fetch a glass of water, just so he could cover all of the actions he had told Hinata he couldn't do on the phone last night.

With the new warmth, Hinata's shivering slackened. But he was still crunched up in a ball, still clinging to that stuffed animal, and still letting out little whimpers and sobs. Kageyama tried patting his arm and talking to him again, again with no effect. He was starting to get a little angry at Hinata's unwillingness to listen to him.

He was close to admitting defeat at this point. He could go wake up Hinata's parents and have them deal with this. Surely they would know what to do. But a corner of his heart rebelled at the idea of surrender.

He had told Hinata that he was here to take care of him. He had promised the same to Kozume. Hinata didn't want to "bother" his parents, especially at night, and though Kageyama was sure that they wouldn't mind, it was exactly for this reason that Hinata had accepted his self-invitation. This was why he was here, and the idea of failure troubled him much more than his reluctance to implement the only solution he saw.

There was only thing to do. Kageyama lifted a corner of the blankets and crawled in next to the Hinata-ball. And he put his arms around his friend and pulled him in as close he could with Hinata's knees and elbows and dumb stuffed stegosaurus in the way.

Kageyama was stiff at first. He felt like his own elbows and knees were all over the place, jutting awkwardly. But the warmth and the closeness relaxed him quickly. Hinata was small and compact in his arms, and Kageyama felt large and sprawling and immensely protective. Was this what it was like to have a sibling? Kageyama had never thought about it before, content with his life as an only child, but suddenly he wondered.

"It's a dream," he murmured, and he had never heard this tone in his voice before, low and soft and soothing. He hadn't known he was capable of such things. Hinata was still teaching him new skills every day, it seemed, pushing him to new levels of experience and understanding. "It's a dream, Hinata. You're safe. I promise."

Slowly, quietly, little by little and bit by bit, Hinata calmed. The tears stopped first, then those awful, wrenching sobs. After awhile, he quit whimpering, too. His hunched shoulders relaxed, and his trembling limbs fell still and limp in the circle of Kageyama's arms. Even the stegosaurus seemed to relax, as Hinata's tight grip loosened and it expanded to its usual size.

Kageyama was enormously, incandescently, almost smugly pleased with himself. He'd done it. He'd figured it out. It had been one of the most perplexing, overwhelming, and all-around awkward problems he'd ever faced, and he'd fixed it all by himself. If it wasn't too embarrassing to talk about, he'd probably tell everyone exactly how great it was, how wonderful it had felt to find a solution to this.

As it was, no one would have to know. He would just wait until he was sure that Hinata was deeply asleep, untroubled and calm, and then he would crawl back to the futon and spend the rest of the night there. Yep. That was the plan.

But... He would stay here for just a little while longer. It was warm and comfortable, and it was relaxing to listen to Hinata's steady breaths, peaceful and at rest, and to know that he had made that happen. Just a little while longer.


	14. Chapter 14

**AN: **This chapter is slightly shorter than the last few have been, but it was this or not getting it posted today, so I hope you will accept this humble offering.

Also, if you're interested, I made a playlist of music I listen to while working on this story. Eventually I'll have a downloadable file for you, but for now there's YouTube. Google maychorian youtube split second, and it's the first result.

* * *

Kageyama woke slowly, luxuriating in the leisurely atmosphere of a Saturday morning with no weekend practice. He was warm and relaxed and so comfortable that it almost felt like floating, no pressure, no pain. Even his sore muscles weren't bothering him for the moment. For the first time in days, he felt completely rested and at peace.

Then Hinata cleared his throat, and it all shattered like a fragile reflection. Kageyama's eyes widened and he turned over onto his back from where he'd been lying on his side, half-curled into the warmth of the bed. Oh no. Oh no. He was in Hinata's bed. He hadn't crawled back to the futon last night. He'd...he'd _stayed there all night._

Slowly, agonizingly, with dread tightening every muscle in his body and reducing every movement to a sluggish crawl, he turned his head and looked toward where the noise had come from. Hinata was kneeling in his desk chair just on the other side of the futon, watching Kageyama with raised eyebrows and an expectant smile. His hands were folded neatly in front of him, and he gave off the impression that he'd been waiting patiently for quite some time.

"Good morning, Kageyama! You've been quite the sleepyhead. Are you feeling all right? Did you sleep well?"

That voice. That stupid...cheerful...voice. Hinata sounded like a perky parent trying to chivvy their child out of bed on a school day. He sounded like a kindergarten teacher encouraging his charges to behave for once. He sounded like...

Well, he sounded like Hinata on a normal day, in all honesty. Kageyama blinked at him and decided that it would be probably best just to pretend that nothing weird was going on at all. Maybe Hinata would be kind and pretend along with him.

"I slept very well, thank you," Kageyama said, his voice utterly calm and polite.

Oh, please let Hinata go along with it, please let Hinata go along with it, please let Hinata go along with it...

Hinata held his pleasant, neutral expression. For about ten seconds. Then he suddenly burst into laughter and bent double at his waist, head almost touching his knees. Another centimeter and he would topple right out of the chair. Kageyama eyed the floor in front of him worriedly, but the rumpled futon and blankets were still there from last night, so Hinata would probably be okay if he fell. Kageyama looked back to Hinata, his face already tightening into a scowl.

"Hinata..." He tried to put a warning in his voice, but even he had to admit that the attempt was pretty weak.

Hinata waved a hand in the air between them, still bent double and laughing into his knees. "Sorry, sorry, I'm sorry, it's just... You could have told me if you were cold. I would have fetched you more blankets or something."

Heat flooded Kageyama's face. "I wasn't cold..."

"Or if you were homesick or lonely, I mean, I certainly understand, since you said you've never had a sleepover before. It must have been strange! I'm glad that you were able to find consolation, honestly, I'm happy to have kept you company, but I might have appreciated a word about it, that's all."

"Hinata. Stop laughing."

The words were coming in garbled strings, rushed out between choking fits of laughter. Hinata grabbed onto the sides of his chair to hold himself steady. "Or if you...if you just needed...to hold my stegosaurus for awhile...you could have asked...I would have been glad to lend him to you..."

Wait, what? Kageyama's glance darted around the room, unable to absorb this one. Then he glanced down at himself, and for the first time noticed the large lump on his chest under the blankets. What...what the...

Oh no. He was holding the stegosaurus. Not only had he fallen asleep next to Hinata when he'd meant to escape back to the futon, but in his sleep he must have somehow shifted his grip so that he was no longer holding onto his friend, but to his stupid freaking idiotic _stuffed stegosaurus from Tsukishima **oh my GOD.**_

Kageyama bolted upright in a whirlwind of covers and limbs. Somehow the stegosaurus ended up flying across the room. Kageyama would not pretend to have even a guess as to how that happened. He ended up scrambling backward on his hands and heels to press his back to the wall, breathing hard, the bedding in disarray around him. Hinata reached up into the air and casually snagged the stegosaurus as it sailed by, then hugged it down to his stomach. His laughter had finally stopped, but he was still grinning. Hard.

Kageyama clutched at his chest with both hands. He couldn't believe this. He'd heard of people saying that they were so embarrassed that they wanted to die, but he'd never in his wildest dreams thought that he would ever experience such a feeling himself. His face was so hot that he was concerned that it might burn up in a puff of steam.

Then he caught the twinkle in Hinata's eye. The sly little upturn of the corner of his mouth. His eyes were still wide and innocent, of course. _Too_ wide and innocent.

Kageyama let go of his chest with one hand and pointing a trembling finger at Hinata. "You...you..."

Hinata's grin did not falter. "Me...me?"

"You...you _set me up!"_

"Tch." Hinata shook his head in gentle disapproval. "How could you accuse me of such a horrible thing?"

"You did, I know you did! You woke up first so you put that thing in my hands and then you went and sat in your chair and you _waited._ You _waited_ for me to wake up so you could do that whole little performance. Are you...are you _trying_ to kill me with embarrassment? Because you almost succeeded, you little turd!"

Hinata shrugged, pulling his mouth down in an innocent little circle. "Eh, I'm not saying that's how it happened..."

"But it's how it happened, isn't it?"

Hinata shrugged and hugged his stuffed animal, affording Kageyama soft little smile. He seemed genuinely pleased with himself, that little snot. Kageyama groaned and dropped his still-burning face into his hands. "Just...just kill me," he pleaded. "It would be faster."

"But I like you alive," Hinata said. "You're much more fun that way."

"You're cruel," Kageyama said. "You're the worst."

"No, I'm not," Hinata said with utter confidence. "You don't even believe that anymore, if you ever did."

Kageyama calmed a bit, his breathing and facial temperature slowly returning to normal. "I never did," he said after a moment, compelled to be truthful.

An easy quiet fell. Hinata rocked gently in the desk chair, making it squeak. Kageyama could hear movement and voices in other parts of the house, and he could smell food cooking. It seemed that Hinata's family liked to have a late start on Saturdays. That was good. Kageyama's stomach was starting to alert him to the fact that it was empty.

"But really, though..." Hinata's voice had lost all of its teasing and good-natured cheer. He sounded truly serious for once. "Did you have a nightmare or something? I don't mean to make you feel bad, if it was something like that. Suga-san told me you've been having a hard time lately, and I don't want to make it worse."

Kageyama froze for a moment, then lowered his hands from his face and looked up to meet Hinata's eyes. Hinata looked back at him with no guile, only curiosity and friendly concern. "You...you don't remember?"

Hinata frowned. "Remember what?"

"It was you," Kageyama said slowly. It occurred to him that it might be good if Hinata didn't remember, just like it seemed to be a good thing to Kageyama that Hinata couldn't remember the exact moment Isao hurt him. Surely that would be too much for even Hinata's expansive spirit to absorb. Still, he wanted to set the record straight.

"Me?"

Kageyama nodded. "You were having a nightmare. I tried to wake you up, but I couldn't. It seemed...it seemed really bad. I tried to figure out how to help you, but nothing seemed to be working. So finally I did...that."

Hinata's eyes widened and widened.

"And it worked," Kageyama went on, in a rush to justify his actions. "After a little bit you stopped crying and shaking."

"I was crying?" Hinata raised a wondering hand to his face, as if he might find evidence there, but any tear-tracks must have worn away during the night.

Kageyama nodded. "But you stopped. You relaxed completely and seemed to be deeply asleep again. And now you don't even remember it, so... I think it worked. I was going to go back to the futon afterward, but I guess I fell asleep, too."

Hinata's eyes were starry and his mouth had dropped open a bit. It wasn't unlike the look he gave Nishinoya or Tanaka when they did something truly amazing on the court. "You...you did that for me?"

Kageyama flushed again, though for an entirely different reason. His feet shuffled restlessly in the bedding, knees knocking against each other. "Well...yeah."

"Thank you very much!" And Hinata burst into one of his huge, face-splitting grins, eyes closed, teeth showing, wide and childlike and utterly unafraid. "You really are taking good care of me, aren't you?"

"That's...that's why I'm here."

"Uwaaa... You're kind of amazing, Kageyama."

Kageyama coughed roughly and stood up from the bed, suddenly unable to sit still anymore. "Yeah... All right. We should...um...probably get ready for the day now."

Hinata nodded easily. "Yeah, sure. I think Mom will have breakfast ready soon."

"Can't wait." Kageyama kicked through the futon bedding for a bit, then found what he was looking for and leaned down to pick it up. He put the cellphone in Hinata's hand. "Uh, Kozume said that he would call today. So be ready for that, I guess."

Hinata eyed the phone in puzzlement. "Call? Why would he do that? I don't think we've ever actually talked on the phone, just texted and emailed each other."

Kageyama shrugged, reflexively beginning to gather the scattered blankets on Hinata's bed. He always made his bed tidy at home and he saw no reason to break the habit just because he was in someone else's house. "Well, he wasn't satisfied with that first text I sent him. He wanted to know exactly what was going on. I told him a little, but not the whole story. I'm sure he just wants to hear the whole thing from you. And he probably wants to hear your voice and make sure you're really okay."

"But I don't even know the whole story." Hinata clutched the stegosaurus a little tighter. He didn't seem to notice he was doing it, and it kind of made Kageyama's chest hurt to see it. "Maybe you should talk to him, too."

"Maybe." Kageyama finished smoothing the covers over Hinata's bed, then turned to deal with the mess of the futon on the floor. "If you want me to, I can do that." He wasn't really paying attention to what he was saying, too busy cleaning up. He was just making noises that Hinata seemed to like.

Hinata grinned and nodded vigorously. "You're a good friend, Kageyama."

Kageyama paused where he knelt on the floor, folding up the futon. He looked up and met Hinata's eyes for a moment. "I'm glad you think so." He wasn't sure that was true, but it was nice to hear.

"I don't think so. I know so." Hinata reached out and poked Kageyama's shoulder with one hand. "Yeah, it was kind of weird waking up with you hanging all over me like Natsu when she's scared of storms, but it was kind of nice, too. I didn't really mind it. Plus it gave me that great opportunity to mess with you! You're an awesome friend, Kageyama."

Kageyama groaned and hid his face, once again burning bright as the sun, in both of his palms.

He should have known. He should have freaking known that that wouldn't be the end of it. Hinata was never, ever going to let him forget this.

Hinata laughed brightly and jumped out of his chair, trotting over to his dresser to gather his clothes. "C'mon, let's get ready! I'm sure today is gonna be great."

"Yeah, okay." Kageyama trailed after him a little more slowly, but no less optimistically.

Hinata was happy and bouncy and full of energy. It was a little hard to believe that just a few hours ago he'd been crying and trembling in his sleep, clutching desperately at an inanimate object for comfort he couldn't seem to find. So the day had started with a joke at Kageyama's expense. That didn't mean it was a bad beginning to set out from.

In fact, all things considered, it was looking pretty wonderful.


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N:** Extra long chapter to make up for short one last time. And could that be...gasp...the hint of a plot? Maybe!

* * *

Breakfast was a cheerful, chaotic affair. None of the Hinatas seem to have much use for formality—after a sincere, "Thank you for the food!" at the beginning, it was pretty much a free for all. Kageyama, used to a quiet house and leftovers from the fridge or convenience food from the cupboards since his schedule almost never synced with his parents', found it a bit disconcerting. Fortunately, Mr. Hinata noticed that he was a little slower on the uptake than his own kids and made sure that Kageyama's plate was well-filled. Otherwise there was a serious danger of it all disappearing before Kageyama figured out what to do.

Hinata's cellphone rang toward the end, when everyone had slowed down to nibbling and his parents were chatting and Natsu was already wanting to be excused so she could go play. Hinata had set the phone on the table near him while he ate, and he snatched it up the instant it began to sound, his eyes widening in delight as he looked at the ID.

"It is! It's Kenma!" He looked to his parents, and they nodded in permission. He snapped the phone open with one hand, the other still holding chopsticks for his tomago kake gohan. "Good morning, Kenma!"

Kageyama watched him sideways, still slowly working his way through his food. He could hear Kozume's voice faintly, though he couldn't make out the words, the same leisurely tone he remembered from their practice matches and training camp, but with an edge underneath it. Yeah, the guy was definitely worried about Hinata.

"No, I really am fine," Hinata said. "Honest. Or I will be, you know, eventually. I'm just not allowed to do anything that will make my brain work too hard for a few days." Kenma said something else. Hinata blinked. "I don't know, really. I think the doctor said it was a moderate concussion."

More talking, a little more lengthy this time. Hinata's chopsticks dropped toward the table and his eyes were beginning to glaze over. "You...read up on it?" he asked eventually. "Okay, no, I get that it's easy to find information online, but you really don't have to worry about it. You don't have to worry about me." Kozume interrupted, and Kageyama narrowed his eyes at the change in tone. It sounded like he was getting more upset as the conversation went on, not less. If he'd wanted to talk to Hinata to reassure himself that everything was all right, that plan did not seem to be working out.

"Kenma..." Hinata tried to stop the flow of words, but they just went on. After a moment he moved the phone away from his ear and held it out in his hand, staring at it in astonishment. Then he put it back to his ear. Kozume was still talking.

Kageyama had never heard Kozume talk at such length. It was obvious that Hinata never had either. His mouth was beginning to hang open and he was clearly getting overwhelmed. Kageyama knew Kozume was laid-back to the point that he never seemed to get worked up about anything at all, and it was one of Hinata's goals to do so well when playing against Nekoma as to finally provoke some sort of reaction from his friend. It seemed that he had finally found a way to get that reaction, but it had nothing to do with volleyball.

Kageyama set down his chopsticks and held out his hand. Hinata looked at his hand, then to his face, his expression blank and confused. Kageyama beckoned with his fingers. "C'mon. Let me talk to him."

Hinata nodded in relief and gripped the cellphone a little tighter. "Kenma," he said again, with a touch of urgency in his voice, and the deluge of words finally cut off. "I'm gonna give the phone to Kageyama, okay? I think he actually knows more about what's going on than I do. I'm sorry, I just... I didn't pay all that much attention to what the doctor said. My head hurt too much."

After a brief moment of silence, Kozume made an affirmative noise. Hinata smiled brightly. "Okay! I'll talk to you later if you want. Call anytime. I like hearing your voice."

He handed the cellphone over to Kageyama with a tiny sigh and slumped in his chair, his forehead wrinkled. Kageyama squinted at him for a moment, hoping he didn't have another headache. Then he noticed Mrs. Hinata approaching the table with a bottle of prescription medicine in her hand—the painkillers Hinata was supposed to take whenever he needed them. Kageyama wasn't the only one who had noticed how overwhelmed and uncomfortable Hinata was getting.

With that potential problem covered, Kageyama looked back to the cellphone. He put it to his ear and turned sideways in his chair to face away from the table, creating a polite distance from the family still sitting there. "Kozume? It's Kageyama."

"Kageyama." Kozume's voice had reverted to the slow, slightly lazy, mostly shy voice Kageyama remembered. "Is Shouyou really going to be all right? I'm not sure I trust his word. He's always very optimistic about things."

Kageyama rubbed his forehead with his hand. The truth was that this was a question that he also worried about. He didn't have a satisfactory answer. "If all goes well," he chose to say. It seemed to strike a good balance between realism and positivity.

"I read about post-concussive syndrome," Kozume said. "I read about all the mental and emotional difficulties that can come from a head injury. Shouyou said it was a moderate concussion—is that right?"

"Yeah. That's what the doctor said."

"Then it could have been worse. But it could have been better, too."

_It could have not happened at all,_ Kageyama thought, but didn't say. That was useless thinking.

"He didn't have any bleeding in his brain. He didn't have any damage to his neck or spine. He might not have even passed out. Those are all good signs."

Kageyama looked toward the table. He wasn't sure he wanted Hinata to be listening to this. Sure, it was all about his own body and he deserved to know the truth, but Kageyama didn't want to freak him out with listing all the things that could have gone wrong. He knew that Kozume was also going to want to talk more about potential problems in the future, and Kageyama didn't want Hinata worrying about those, either. He should just concentrate on resting and getting better, that was all. This conversation was the very definition of "too much strain."

Fortunately, Hinata didn't seem to be paying attention. He was poking his chopsticks listlessly at the rest of his rice and egg, his elbow on the table, cheek resting on his hand. All of that energy from earlier had vanished as suddenly as it appeared. His mother was crouching next to him, patting his head very gently, keeping her touch far away from the big bruise on his forehead.

As Kageyama watched, she glanced up and met his eyes, then gave him a sad smile, knowing, agreeing. She nudged Hinata to get up from the table, guiding his sluggish steps out of the room. She said something about going to the sofa in the main room so he could lie down. Across the table, Mr. Hinata gave Kageyama a nod. They understood, they knew what he wanted before he asked, because they wanted it too. Kageyama blinked, then nodded back.

Kozume had been silent on the phone, absorbing Kageyama's words. Now he spoke again. "Why do you say that Shouyou 'might not' have passed out? How can you not know one way or the other?"

"He doesn't remember the exact moment it happened. And none of us were close enough to see if his eyes closed."

"You said..." Kozume's voice was still slow, but demanding and forceful in its own way. "You said he was attacked. By a bully. Please tell me what happened."

A shiver passed over Kageyama's shoulders. He stood up, restless, his appetite gone, and paced over to a corner of the kitchen. He faced the wall with his head down, his free arm wrapped around his abdomen. He didn't want to talk about it. He didn't want to think about it. But Kozume and Hinata were close friends, and he could not refuse him this. So he told the story in as few words as he could manage, then fell silent, staring at the floor.

"You called this person a bully," Kozume said after another moment to take it in. "Does that mean he's harassed Shouyou before?"

Anger was laced into that laconic voice now, and Kageyama's fingers tightened on the phone in response. Even the idea of Hinata being bullied was unbearable, unthinkable. "No," he said, and he was fairly confident that it was true. Surely someone on the team would have noticed if Hinata had odd bruises or any other sign of being picked on. All of the senpai doted on him unreasonably, and even Tsukishima was not such an asshole as to be silent if he noticed something like that. "I don't think he knows who did it, even now. He never saw the bastard's face, not while he was aware of his surroundings. It was...it was a random act of violence from a thug. Hinata was in the wrong place at the wrong time. At least, that's the best explanation anyone's been able to give."

"But you know who did it, don't you? You'll have to tell Shouyou eventually."

"When he's stronger. He's having...too many issues right now."

"I see." Kozume's voice sharpened. If they'd been speaking in person, Kageyama was sure he would have seen a spark of fire in Kozume's eyes, might have seen him straighten up and face Kageyama more fully. "Please explain. Tell me what is going on with Shouyou right now."

Kageyama closed his eyes for a moment. He hadn't even told the rest of the team about all of this, hoping to take care of it on his own. But he'd already come this far with Kozume, so he might as well finish the job. "He's having some post-concussive symptoms, of course. Dizziness, headaches, weakness. He needs a lot of sleep. And he's also been...afraid."

"Afraid?"

"Almost constantly." Kageyama turned and leaned on the wall with his shoulder. Talking about it seemed to make his heart heavy and his limbs ache. "He knows he was attacked, even if he doesn't know who did it. He knows someone hurt him on purpose. And...you must have read that concussions can cause chemical imbalances, mental problems, personality changes. I think that might be part of it. I don't know. But I do know he's scared and he can't handle being alone. That's why I spent last night here, and I'll be here tonight, too. And if that's not enough, I'll do whatever it takes to make sure someone is always with him and he doesn't have to be afraid."

Kozume hummed thoughtfully. It was a pleasant sound, almost soothing. Kageyama closed his eyes and leaned on the wall.

"All right. Thank you for telling me all of this."

"Sure."

"I think...I might have to come and visit, after all." Kozume sounded uncomfortable but determined. "Just...to make sure. It's not that I don't believe that you can take care of Shouyou and that you're doing your best, but..."

"I understand," Kageyama said, and he truly, honestly did. Some things you had to see with your own eyes. "In a few days, or a week, maybe? I know he'll be happy to see you."

"Mmm." Now that the important information was out of the way, Kozume seemed eager to end the conversation. "I'll call again. And next time I'll...keep the conversation, um, light. I'm sorry for the way I overwhelmed Shouyou earlier. I was..."

Of course Kozume was aware of what he'd done. This was probably the single most observant opponent they had ever faced on the court. Even without visual input, he was highly aware of other people and everything going on with them.

"I was afraid, too," Kozume finished.

"It's okay," Kageyama kept his voice low, just between the two of them. "You're not the only one."

It felt good to admit it to someone. Kozume was far away so it was safe to tell him, but Kageyama didn't want Hinata to know. Not until his own fear was under control. When this was all over, maybe, someday far in the future, he'd tell Hinata exactly how scared he'd been, how much he hadn't wanted to lose Hinata and how glad he was that he'd made it through everything. For now, though, and for as long as he had to be, Kageyama would be strong.

Kozume puffed out a breath that might have been a sigh and might have been a laugh. "Yes. All right. I'll talk to you again."

He hung up before Kageyama could say good-bye. Kageyama moved the phone away from his ear and looked at it for a moment, then closed it and went to the main room to check on Hinata.

X

They had a lot of visitors over the course the day. Nearly the entire Karasuno team came, though just like in the hospital, they staggered their visits to be less overwhelming. Kageyama didn't know who had been wise enough to set up such a schedule, but he suspected Sugawara. Suga, Daichi, and Asahi were the first to visit. They came in late morning, while Hinata was still napping from his morning exertions, so they waited around until he woke up.

After staring at the visitors in astonishment for a few moments, Natsu seized on "giant nii-san" (as she dubbed Asahi) and demanded that he play with her, tugging his huge hand with both of hers. He blushed and stammered for a moment, then gracefully folded himself down to the floor to be on her level. She squealed with delight and declared her intention to make his hair "all pretty!"

Daichi and Suga snickered behind their hands, and Asahi bit his lip to keep from laughing, then nodded his assent. She rushed off to get her tools, and they all looked at each other, then at Hinata sleeping on the sofa, amused at all of the cuteness despite the embarrassment factor. Kageyama could see Suga sneakily palming his phone, so he was pretty sure there would be pictures.

It got worse when Natsu returned with a basket of hairbrushes, combs, ribbons, and clips, and decided to also recruit "grumpy nii-san" to sit next to them and hand her materials. Kageyama sighed, but he could not refuse this little girl anything. Anything at all. He'd tried. It hadn't worked. So he sat next to them on the floor with the basket in his lap, dutifully finding and holding out whatever she asked for. He felt a little like a surgeon's assistant—she was certainly taking this task as seriously as if it were something life and death.

He could hear the tell-tale camera sounds from Suga's phone. They made him blush every time. Asahi reddened, too, but he also seemed ridiculously pleased with the entire affair, smiling shyly whenever Natsu told him how pretty he looked. Considering how much it distressed Asahi to be taken as a thug because of his appearance, it must be nice to get an entirely different reaction, especially from a child. It was just too bad Hinata was asleep for the entire thing.

At last Natsu announced her work to be complete—a mass of braids, twists, clips, and ties—and ran off to get one last thing for the finishing touch. Kageyama set the basket aside with a huff of relief and pushed himself to his feet, walking around the room to relieve the stiffness of being still for so long. Asahi stayed where he was, as serene as any monk deep in meditation.

Suga and Daichi were leaning over Suga's phone, shoulders pressed together, scrolling through the pictures. After making a couple circuits of the room, Kageyama moved over to join them, craning over Suga's shoulder to view the screen. Suga gave him a grin, then scrolled back to the beginning to show him everything. Daichi straightened with a slight grunt and stretched out his arms, one paw batting at the back of Kageyama's head in rough but friendly contact.

The pictures were really cute, Kageyama had to admit. "You should show Hinata when he wakes up," he said. Suga nodded as if that had been the plan all along.

"Kageyama." Daichi's voice was serious. Kageyama looked up and met his gaze, eyebrows raising. Daichi tipped his head toward the opposite corner of the room. "I need to tell you something."

Kageyama nodded and went with him to the corner, where they stood with their backs to the room. Daichi put his arm around Kageyama's shoulders, his presence firm and comforting. "Listen," he said. "I don't want you to worry about this, but I think you ought to know."

Kageyama hadn't been nervous before, but he was now. He watched Daichi's face without blinking. "What is it?"

Daichi's face was grim. "Someone vandalized our gym last night. They painted graffiti and tore up the plants outside, and they'd tried to force the lock but couldn't get in."

For a second Kageyama couldn't breathe. What the hell?

Daichi squeezed his shoulders. "I think we both have the same idea of who might have done it."

Kageyama nodded numbly. "But...why…?"

"I don't know. To get back at us. To scare us. To keep us from trying to do anything else to seek justice for what they did. Because they could. It's hard to know with people like that."

Kageyama straightened and backed off, unable to bear the weight of Daichi's arm anymore. Daichi let him go. "We can't tell Hinata," he said, urgency beating in his chest, his temples. "He's already…" He cut himself off.

"He's already scared. I know." Daichi watched him steadily. "Like I said, I don't want you to worry about this."

Kageyama laughed bitterly. Too late.

Daichi's lips flattened into a straight line. "The rest of us are going to take care of this. We'll clean everything up. The police are going to send a patrol at night for a while. By the time Hinata comes back to school, everything will be normal."

But suddenly, Kageyama wasn't so sure that he wanted Hinata to go back to school. Not if things like this were still happening. Not if those thugs were still a threat. If anything else happened…if anything…

"Kageyama." Daichi grabbed his arm. Only then did Kageyama realize that he was shaking. He jerked his arm back in a vain attempt to break free. Daichi just held on harder.

Instead of letting go, he stepped in closer, bending his head to look in Kageyama's bowed face. His voice was low and soothing and utterly firm. "Kageyama. Don't be afraid. We're going to take care of this. You and Hinata are safe, and you're going to stay safe. I swear it."

Kageyama stood still for a long moment, struggling for breath. At last, he nodded. It was shaky and uncertain, but he did mean it. He trusted his captain to take care of them. It was just...difficult right now, in this moment, with fear pouring ice water through his veins and squeezing his heart in a cold fist. He stared at the floor, unable to look Daichi in the eyes.

"All right." Daichi pressed his forehead to Kageyama's, solid, supportive, there. "I'm sorry. Maybe I shouldn't have told you after all. I didn't realize you would take it so hard."

Kageyama trembled. He wasn't sure why he was reacting this way, either. It was just...yet one more blow. Another sanctuary violated. He'd been trying...so hard...to be strong for Hinata, to be reassuring and comforting, to take care of everything so Hinata could rest without fear. He hadn't realized the toll it was taking on him.

And now this. It hadn't been just that one split-second of violence. Now there was more, more to contend with, more to fear. Kageyama had never even thought to worry about those bastards coming after their gym. He'd thought at least volleyball was safe, their sport, their passion. But now those damned thugs were trying to mess with that, too.

"It's going to be all right," Daichi murmured. "Don't be afraid. All you have to worry about is taking care of yourself and Hinata. We're watching out for you. It will be all right."

Kageyama breathed, in and out. He nodded again, unable to speak.

"I'm back!" Natsu burst into the room, and they broke apart and looked up. She was waving a page of stickers in her hand, making a beeline for Asahi. "Finishing move!"

She launched herself at him, and he caught her in his huge hands and held her up, her bare feet digging into his thighs as she stood on his legs. Natsu giggled and began taking stickers off the page and putting them on Asahi's face. "Final glory!" she declared in a low, growling voice, probably quoting one of Hinata's video games, and used her entire hand to push a particularly large sticker of a basket of kittens directly in the middle of Asahi's forehead, beneath the point where she had tied her biggest, sparkliest ribbon into his hair.

Kageyama chuckled breathlessly, and then he started laughing, and then he couldn't stop. He started to slide toward the floor, his knees buckling. Daichi tried to grab him and hold him up, but only succeeded in getting dragged down, too, and they sat on the carpet and laughed. Daichi patted his shoulder, and Suga giggled on the other side of the room, and Hinata finally, finally woke up, blinking at them all from the sofa in sleepy confusion.

And Asahi just smiled and blushed, as happy as Kageyama had ever seen him.


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: **Another short chapter for the mid-week! But I have a three-day weekend coming up (yay American holidays), so you can expect a much longer one on Monday or so. Or earlier! Who knows. Might also get another missing scene done. Or that Tsukki-Yama meta I've been meaning to finish!

...I'm always very optimistic about weekends.

* * *

Things got easier after Hinata woke up. This was often the case, Kageyama had noticed. He laughed at Asahi's new hair-do and face decorations, and he oohed and aahed over the pictures Suga showed him on the phone, hugging Natsu in his lap as she giggled and squirmed. He talked to their teammates with his usual cheer, happy to see them, happy to have them, happy to be alive. And Kageyama sat in the corner and watched, still trembling faintly, trying to pack everything away where it wouldn't show.

He walked the upperclassmen to the door when they were ready to leave. Asahi had reluctantly allowed Natsu to remove all the ribbons and clips and ties, but he still had the stickers on his face. Kageyama wondered how long he would wear them. Wasn't he embarrassed? He imagined Asahi walking down the street, people staring at him in astonishment with his little decorations of kittens and sunbursts and peace signs, the wide, goofy grin on his face and the relaxed bounce to his step. No one would ever mistake him for a thug like that.

Suga hung back as the other two went out the door. He put a hand on Kageyama's shoulder, and Kageyama turned to face him, not sure what to expect. Suga's face was lit up with a warm smile. "Hey, I just wanted you to know that I'm really proud of you."

Kageyama's eyebrows rose into his hairline. "What?"

"Hinata is much, much happier and more relaxed than he was the last time we visited him. I know part of that is from being at home with his family, but I think it's also because of you. Spending the night, being there for him... I know it's a lot of pressure on you, but I want you to know that it's working. I can tell."

Kageyama folded his hands over his suddenly churning stomach. Yeah, Hinata felt safe right now, but part of that was because they were keeping things from him. How would he feel if he knew the name of the guy who attacked him, if he knew that there was a whole gang of them out there and some of them had messed up their gym just last night?

Suga's hand moved from his shoulder to ruffle his hair. "Hey, don't look so worried! You're doing a great job. Hinata is lucky to have a friend like you."

Kageyama swallowed thickly. He hoped that was true.

A shadow of worry crossed Suga's face, and he pulled back his hand. "Are you all right, Kageyama? I don't mean to put more pressure on you. I know you're doing everything you can. I just wanted you to know that it's working."

Kageyama drew in a breath. "I know. Thank you. It's not that. It's just..."

A flash of understanding. "Oh." He lowered his voice, leaning in a little closer. "The gym?"

Kageyama felt his forehead wrinkle. He nodded stiffly. Yeah, that was...part of it.

Suga gave him an encouraging smile and patted his head again, firm and reassuring. "We're going to take care of it. I know it's hard to switch off the worrying part of your brain, but...try to. Just keep telling yourself that your teammates have it covered. Same way we talked about, right? Let it pass. We have your back. Everything will be okay."

Kageyama breathed, slowly, then again. He nodded, a little more certainly this time. "Daichi said so," he said in a low voice.

Suga laughed brightly. "That's the one! I'm glad you remember."

"Yeah."

Still the warm smile, the pride in Suga's eyes. "You're doing well, Kageyama." His voice was soft and sweet and knowing, so knowing. "I'm very happy. And if you ever want to talk, you have my number. Call me anytime."

Kageyama nodded. One of the tight bands around his chest loosened a little, teased away by Suga's kindness and warmth, his light touches and friendly smiles. Sugawara-san had taught him so much in the few months they had known each other. Kageyama never wanted to stop learning from him.

"All right." One last pat to Kageyama's head, and Suga put his hand on the door. "I'll see you at school. Have a good weekend!"

"Thank you."

Kageyama saw him out and waved good-bye to the three of them as they set off down the road toward the nearest bus stop. Then he stepped back into the house and closed the door carefully behind him. One visit down. How many more to go?

Hinata made it seem easy. He didn't view having visitors as a responsibility or an event to be endured, but as a pleasure and a joy. So throughout the day, Kageyama mostly just hung out in the room and let Hinata handle it, occasionally intervening when Hinata's energy started to drop. The visitors were all very understanding and respectful, bowing out graciously when Kageyama indicated that it was time to go. Even Nishinoya, usually bursting with energy and oblivious to nuance, seemed to notice instantly when Hinata lost power. Since he and Tanaka had only been there for a little while, they went to the yard and tossed a volleyball back and forth. Hinata watched them through the window, a sharp look of longing on his face that slowly softened until he tumbled quietly into a nap.

The pattern continued throughout the day. Hinata napped, a few people showed up, they visited for a while, and then Hinata napped again. Kageyama hadn't been here yesterday so he couldn't compare, but Mrs. Hinata told him—when he went to the kitchen to fetch tea for another group—that Hinata was actually staying awake more than he had yesterday. He didn't get another headache after that first one in the morning, and Kageyama didn't catch any dizzy spells, either. Hinata might have been concealing any moments of weakness like that, but Kageyama didn't think so. Hinata wasn't really the type to hide when he wasn't feeling well, and even if he'd tried, Kageyama was watching very closely.

It astonished Kageyama to remember last night, the boy shivering and crying in the grip of a terrible dream, only gradually calming down once Kageyama wrapped him in his arms. And the night before that, when Hinata was too scared to sleep, hiding under his covers, so frightened that he considered calling Kageyama for help a good option. He'd been so worked up that he hadn't been able to sleep until his father cuddled him for a while. And before that, the hospital, where even in a room full of light and people and gifts from everyone who cared about him, he'd needed to hold onto someone's hands to fight back his fear.

As closely as Kageyama watched him now, he saw no more signs of fear from Hinata. Had it really passed so quickly? Was it just the constant activity keeping it at bay? Or was Suga right, and Hinata really was happier and more relaxed now?

It occurred to him, again, that Hinata might be hiding it. But he dismissed that idea quickly. Hinata wasn't the one who hid things, who concealed and buried and told lies by omission. Kageyama folded his arms over his stomach and tried to pretend that he didn't feel like throwing up. Hinata didn't do that. Kageyama did.

He tried to forget it. Tried to just enjoy the company, the beauty of the day, the happy smiles on the faces of his friends and teammates. Everyone was very kind and concerned. It would have been impossible not to be cheered by all of the attention, and Hinata bloomed like a flower in the sun.

It was especially nice to see Yachi—she lit up the room she was in almost as brightly as Hinata did, and with both of them in one place it took some effort to not be overwhelmed by it all. When Hinata's eyelids started to drop, instead of stepping out of the room the way almost everyone else did, she went and sat next to him and started humming a slow, soft melody. Hinata fell asleep on her shoulder, and Kageyama fetched his phone and took a picture, because he knew Suga would want it.

Yachi blushed when he held up his phone, holding a finger to his lips to ask for silence. But she didn't move, and once the blush faded he took a couple more for good measure. She stayed the longest of any of their visitors, just warming the room with her presence and her smile.

Even Tsukishima and Yamaguchi came, near the end of the day when late afternoon light slanted in the windows and the house was beginning to smell wonderful with the preparation of an imminent meal. Kageyama was pretty certain that it had been Yamaguchi's idea, but at least he wasn't physically dragging Tsukishima in behind him. When Tsukishima saw the stuffed stegosaurus hanging out on the sofa next to Hinata, he turned a very interesting shade of red. Yamaguchi glanced between him and the stegosaurus, then turned away and hid his face in his hands, stifling his laughter.

Kageyama didn't quite get what was so hilarious about this. Yamaguchi had laughed like this in the hospital when Tsukishima first gave Hinata the gift, and Kageyama still wasn't sure why. But he did have to admit that Tsukishima's face was pretty amusing.

Hinata just blinked at him, his face blank and oblivious. Tsukishima stuffed his hands in his pockets and rocked back and forth on his heels and toes, obstinately silent. "Um, hi, Tsukishima, Yamaguchi," Hinata said politely. "Thanks for coming."

Yamaguchi finally pulled himself together enough to face Hinata. He gave him a little wave. "Hi, Hinata. I'm glad to see you're enjoying Stego-chan's company."

Hinata's forehead wrinkled. He looked at the stuffed stegosaurus under his arm as if he'd forgotten it was there, which he very well might have. "Stego-chan?"

Yamaguchi nodded easily. "That's what Tsukki calls him!'

Tsukishima growled. He literally growled. His face was even redder than before. "Shut up, Yamaguchi."

"Sorry, Tsukki." Yamaguchi did not sound sorry at all. He gave Tsukishima an innocent look. "It's what you call him, though."

"Shut up. I do not."

"You do! I remember!"

"I d... But..." Tsukishima's head pulled back, as if he were trying to escape a terrible smell, and his entire face wrinkled up. "That was _years_ ago. I can't believe you remember!"

"Of course I remember, Tsukki! It was so cute, how could I forget?"

"What the hell!" Kageyama finally interjected, unable to take it any more. "Just how long have you guys been friends?"

They paused in mid-argument, glanced at Kageyama, then looked at each other.

"Elementary school?" Tsukishima asked.

Yamaguchi nodded. He looked to Kageyama. "Elementary school. Karasuno went to nationals around that time."

Hinata gaped at them. "Uwaaa. Did you ever see the Small Giant play?"

Tsukishima shifted uncomfortably and looked away, but Yamaguchi nodded. "Yeah, we did."

"None of that has anything to do with Stego-chan," Tsukishima muttered. Yamaguchi looked back to him, grinning, and Tsukishima reddened again. "I wasn't even playing with it anymore by the time we started hanging out. When did you ever hear me call it Stego-chan?"

Kageyama narrowed his eyes. Tsukishima had deliberately changed the subject away from the Small Giant back to something that embarrassed him. Why would he do that?

Yamaguchi didn't seem to notice, too busy grinning at Tsukishima in unadulterated delight. His eyes had narrowed mischievously, which was a very strange expression to see on their usually shy and awkward teammate. "I don't know, Tsukki. Maybe it was yesterday, when you were complaining about how you'd given away your precious childhood toy to a hyperactive idiot who probably wouldn't even appreciate him. 'Stego-chan deserves better, I can't believe I did that to him,' I think those were your exact words."

Tsukishima held still for about one second, face utterly, utterly red. Then he just sat down on the floor, just like that, and bent over with his flaming face hidden in his hands. "Shut _up,_ Yamaguchi!" he wailed.

Yamaguchi laughed and laughed. After a moment of shock, Hinata did too, though more in puzzlement and confusion than genuine hilarity. Kageyama stared, unable to take it in.

All in all, it was probably the most ridiculous and most interesting visit they'd gotten that day. Afterward, Hinata was even more taken with "Stego-chan" than he had been before, cuddling it under his arm and petting its head at odd moments. Kageyama let him do his thing, though he did eye the creature a bit askance.

Stego-chan. Really.

Tsukishima and Yamaguchi were such weirdos.


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: **Did I say I might get this done before Monday? HAHAHA, WHAT AN IDIOT PAST ME WAS. Present Me laughs at Past Me quite frequently.

(I did finish that meta about Tsukishima and Yamaguchi, though. If you'd like to read it, you can visit my tumblr. Maychorian is my name there as everywhere.)

A note on the timeline: This story takes place in the future from where even the manga is right now, after the Spring Tournament preliminaries. Whether they're going to nationals or not, I leave to your imagination, but they're continuing to have matches and the third-years are sticking around because I want them to, dang it. Screw continuity. I wanted that Lucifer Dogfish thing in my story, so it's here. That's all.

Having it set slightly in the future also leaves room for some bits of character development, such as Yamaguchi being more confident around Tsukki and things like that. I should have written Ennoshita much more awesomely than I did, though, I know that now.

Anyway, let's see what adorable shenanigans Hinata and Kageyama are up to, huh?

* * *

"Hey," Hinata said as they were setting up for sleep that night. Kageyama fussed around with his futon, placing his blankets to his exact specifications, and Hinata sat cross-legged on the edge of his bed, watching him. "Is something going on?"

Kageyama paused with his pillow held in both hands and looked up at him, his eyes narrowed in distrust. "What are you talking about?"

Hinata watched him with eyes wide and innocent, Stego-chan hanging out casually in his lap. "You've been really quiet today. More quiet than usual, I mean. I don't think you called me 'dumbass' more than once or twice. You looked more confused than usual when anyone tried to explain something to you, and you didn't even talk much to our teammates. It was weird."

Kageyama carefully placed his pillow in the optimum position and patted it once or twice as if to make sure it would stay still. "I'm just not a chatty guy, that's all. You talked plenty for the both of us."

"Yeah, okay. But still. Is something going on?"

Kageyama shook his head. He kept his eyes on his futon, unable to meet Hinata's eyes. "No. Nothing's going on."

"Oh, come on!" Hinata kicked out one of his bare feet and almost popped Kageyama in the nose. Kageyama reared back, highly insulted, teeth bared in a grimace.

"Would you please _stop_ attacking me with your feet?" he asked, his jaw clenched.

Hinata huffed in exasperation and threw Stego-chan at him instead. Kageyama caught it reflexively, then froze there, kneeling on the floor with that stupid stuffed animal in his hands. He had looked up into Hinata's face without meaning to do it, and now he was staring, taken aback by the genuine hurt there.

"I thought we were friends now," Hinata said. "Come on. I know something's bothering you. Why won't you tell me?"

Kageyama swallowed. Guilt churned in his stomach. Yeah, they were friends, and it felt really, really bad keeping things from Hinata, even though he kept telling himself that it was for his own good. But at the same time, he really, _really_ liked seeing Hinata not being afraid. He didn't want that to go away. He didn't want the scared, vulnerable version of Hinata to return, the one who cried in his sleep and trembled at shadows.

"I… I..." He could feel his cheeks heating up. Hinata watched him expectantly. Kageyama blew out a breath and threw Stego-chan back. Hinata caught it easily.

"I don't want to talk about it," he muttered, unable to come up with anything else. It was true, anyway.

Hinata bounced triumphantly where he sat. "So there _is_ something bothering you." He leaned forward, almost doubled over his crossed legs. Even though there were still a couple of feet between them, Kageyama leaned back. "You might as well just tell me. I'm not going to stop asking until you do."

"You'd better!" Kageyama picked up his pillow, destroying the perfect arrangement he had made, and threw it at Hinata. Hinata deflected it before it hit his face—Kageyama hadn't put much force behind the throw, and it made a soft _paff_ sound as it hit his hands, then fell down to the floor beside the bed. Still, Kageyama felt that he had made his point. "When I say I don't want to talk about something, that means I don't want to talk about something."

Hinata pouted. "Aw, don't keep secrets. Secrets are no fun."

"It's not a secret. It's just not worth talking about." Kageyama sat up straighter. "And besides, if I told you a secret, it wouldn't be a secret anymore, would it? You'd blab it to everyone."

"That's hurtful, Kageyama." Yet Hinata's eyes were sparkling in pleasure with their banter. "You're a hurtful person. You say cruel things."

"I only tell the truth."

"Sometimes the truth hurts!"

Kageyama crossed his arms across his chest, scowling fiercely. "And whose fault is that? If you don't want the truth to hurt, then you have to be a different person, so the truth is only good things!"

Hinata's eyes had begun to glaze over. "What are we talking about again?"

"I don't know." Kageyama deflated suddenly. He'd lost track, too. But at least Hinata wasn't pestering him about why he'd been so quiet anymore.

A sudden crack of thunder sounded in the distance, muffled and ragged, torn on the edge of the oncoming night. Kageyama started and jerked around to stare at the window, suddenly on-edge again. Dark gray twilight outside had deepened with the navy blue storm clouds rolling in above, and a scent of rain and was beginning to seep in. The light from Hinata's lamp, still on the floor, suddenly seemed entirely inadequate.

"Um, hey..." Hinata said hesitantly, and Kageyama turned back to look at him. "I was just teasing this morning, but are you really afraid of storms?"

Kageyama shook his head. He stared out the window again. Storms usually didn't affect him in the slightest, but tonight... Yes, the loud noise had startled him, but that was all. It was just...so sudden and deep and booming and dark. But it had been nothing...it had been nothing like the sound of Hinata's head hitting the wall. It was just loud, that was all.

A thought occurred to him and he turned to Hinata. "Are _you_ scared of storms?" It would be just their luck if he was, yet another thing to make the poor guy's life difficult right now.

But Hinata shook his head easily, no hesitation, no tension in his shoulders or his face. Rather, he lit up with a grin. "No, I like them! I love the sound the rain makes on the roof, and the PEH-KOWWW of the lightning snapping down, and the GRUUUM-SHU-BUM of the thunder booming through the mountains..." He had let go of Stego-chan and straightened his back, gesturing with his hands in broad sweeps of his palms and sharp bursts of fingers, imitating explosions. "It's like fireworks! So cool!"

"Heh." Kageyama slumped, the corner of his mouth turning up in amusement. It figured. "That's good, then."

Hinata settled down again, watching Kageyama earnestly. "It's true that Natsu doesn't like storms, though. She's still little."

"So she comes and crawls in with you?"

"When it's real bad, yeah. It's easy to make her feel better, though. I just hug her and tell her stories about how the thunder is just the gods of the clouds playing volleyball and slamming the lightning into the ground too hard, and then the captain tells the ace, 'Good job! You really smacked that one!'" Hinata's voice deepened in an...interesting...imitation of Daichi. "And the setter gives the ace a high-five, and then they do it again, BANG BOOM BAM, so really it's awesome and nothing to be scared of at all."

Kageyama knew his befuddlement was showing on his face, flattening his expression and wrinkling his eyebrows. "That's...that's really…"

"Awesome? Hilarious? Best big bro ever?"

"...dumb," Kageyama finished. "That's really dumb, Hinata."

"Psh." Hinata grabbed Stego-chan's tail and smacked Kageyama's head with the fluffy body, then pulled the toy back into his lap before Kageyama could react. "You're just jealous that you don't have an adorable little sister to be awesome with."

"Yeah, okay. You can believe that if you want to."

"Hmph."

Hinata was pouting again, but Kageyama could tell that he was faking. He looked down at the floor, trying to suppress a smile. The story Hinata told his little sister was...charming. And even though Kageyama wasn't afraid of storms, he had somehow found it comforting, as well. His heart had settled, no longer beating hard and uneven in his chest, and the queasy swirling in his stomach had calmed.

Maybe Hinata really was the best big bro ever. Maybe there was some kind of magic in his silly stories and over-the-top gesticulating.

"Ahhh..."

Kageyama looked up. Hinata was bent over on the bed, all but teetering on the edge of the mattress as he stared into Kageyama's face. His eyes were wide and sparkling. When he caught Kageyama looking at him, he smiled widely. "You don't look so upset anymore!"

"Wh... What?"

Before Kageyama could react, Hinata bounced off his bed and out the door. "I'll be right back!" trailed behind him as Kageyama struggled to his feet.

"Hey, w-wait a minute! Dumbass!"

Dammit, Hinata! What if he fell and hurt himself? Or he could get dizzy again, like he had last night. He shouldn't be darting around like an idiot, he was still recovering, dammit, and why had he been in such a hurry, anyway? What was so important?

Kageyama scooped up Stego-chan, lying abandoned on the bed, and stalked toward the door, his arms swinging back and forth with the force of his irritation. Before he made it out of the room, though, Hinata appeared in the doorway. Piled in his arms was a messy jumble of another futon. It looked like he had grabbed it from a cupboard with one hand and only gathered it into his arms when he was already racing back.

Kageyama froze in the middle of the room, Stego-chan hanging from one hand. "What the heck?"

Hinata beamed at him. "I'm gonna fix it!" He pushed past Kageyama and started spreading the futon on the floor beside his bed, pushing Kageyama's futon toward the desk to make room. Kageyama stood there, watching, still completely confused.

Hinata's bedroom wasn't quite spacious enough to accommodate his desk, his bed, and two futons on the floor in between, so even after quite a bit of pushing and shoving and rearranging, the two futons still overlapped each other. Still, Hinata grunted in satisfaction, then hauled all the bedding off his mattress and piled it on top of the new futon, sort of spreading it out in a way that might cover him once he crawled under it. He topped it off with his pillow, then turned to Kageyama, took Stego-chan from his hands, and gleefully plopped down in the middle of it all.

"There!" he declared, beaming up at Kageyama from the floor. "It's all settled now." He patted the futon next to him, where all the work Kageyama had done carefully arranging his blankets had been thoroughly mussed. "C'mon, Mr. Grumpy, have a seat."

"Don't call me that," Kageyama grumbled, but he went. He sat cross-legged on his futon, facing Hinata. This close he could see the rings of fatigue around Hinata's eyes. They should really be getting to sleep, soon.

Hinata wrinkled his face at him, eyes squinting shut.

"Why did you do this, idiot?" Kageyama looked around at the messy pair of futons. "Why would you abandon a perfectly good bed to sleep on the floor?"

Hinata giggled. Then he reached across the (now very small) space separating them and..._touched Kageyama gently on the nose._

Kageyama reared back, hands flying to his face to protect his nose as he glared at Hinata in stunned displeasure. "What...what was _that?"_

Hinata shrugged. "I dunno. You're just reminding me a lot of Natsu right now, with the storm and the way you're being all moody and argumentative and picking fights for no reason. When she's too tired she gets that way, and sometimes she throws a temper-tantrum and we'll have to leave her alone to calm down, and then she cries and cries and gets a headache and leaves snot everywhere, and it's just very unpleasant for everyone. So I thought maybe I should try to fix things before it went that far."

"I'm not Natsu!" Kageyama was highly affronted. "I'm not argumentative and picking fights, and I'm definitely not _moody!"_

Hinata's face went completely serious for a moment. "Kageyama, you are the moodiest person I've ever met."

Kageyama growled, but he did feel secure enough to let go of his nose, slowly lowering his hands to rest in his lap. Hinata...kind of maybe had a point.

Another crack of thunder sounded in the distance, but it seemed much closer and more immediate than before. Kageyama shivered lightly, feeling the approach of the storm across his shoulders and upper back. It wasn't an unpleasant feeling, but something like a charge of electricity, powerful and moving, right on the edge of an adrenaline response but not quite there. The smell of rain was stronger now, and Kageyama imagined that he could hear the hiss of raindrops hitting the ground steadily drawing nearer.

Yet here in the room with the two of them sitting on futons on the floor, it seemed cozy and warm. The walls of this house were strong and sturdy, sheltering them with no effort, and so they had no need to be anxious of the rain. They could burrow into their little nests of blankets and cushions, completely at ease, watching the storm from within their comfortable den.

Hinata obviously felt the same. He yawned and toppled gently over onto his side, wiggling down into his mess of blankets and tugging Stego-chan in against his chest. After a moment, Kageyama followed, creeping under his covers and lying down on his side, still facing Hinata. Hinata's eyelids were heavy, but his eyes seemed clear and calm.

"Please explain to me again," Kageyama said, as smoothly as he could, "why exactly you decided to move down here for tonight?"

Hinata blinked, long and slow. "So you won't be scared, of course."

Kageyama scoffed. "Oh, of course. Are you sure it's not so that _you_ won't be scared?"

Hinata laughed. "I told you, I like storms."

"Yeah, and they really don't bother me, either. So you don't have to worry about me."

"Hah. Okay." Hinata smiled, soft and sleepy. His eyes started to drift shut, and he nuzzled down into his covers, ducking his nose underneath his top blanket.

Kageyama was quiet for a long moment. He could almost feel Hinata drifting on the edge of sleep, about to slip over but not quite gone yet. He reached out to turn off the lamp, then settled down into the futon again. Though he could no longer see Hinata's face, just a vague pale shadow in the dimness, he knew he was still awake.

"Hinata?" he asked, quiet and careful.

"Eh?"

Rain started to sprinkle down on the roof, lightly at first, but soon it would be a pleasant roar.

"Are you still scared? Not of...the storm. I mean...the other stuff that's been happening. You were scared for a long time. Do you still feel it?"

There was a warm silence, stuffed full of thought. The rain hissed and pattered, and then began to pound heavily on the roof, on the walls. And still they were safe and cozy, and the noise all around them meant nothing, for there was silence in the center.

"No," Hinata said, his voice slow and thoughtful. "It was...it was… For days, it was this constant low hum underneath everything, never going away. It made everything so...so hard. This morning, that was gone. I was really happy. It's really, really nice, not being scared all the time.

"But I know… You were there. The whole time. This whole time I haven't been scared, you've barely left my side. I know my brain is...kind of broken right now. Things aren't working right. It gets stuck on stupid things and I can't push it out on my own.

"So maybe you're kind of...smoothing over the broken parts. My brain decided that you're okay, and when you're around, I'm safe. I don't know why it's doing that, and I'm sorry to be such an inconvenience to you, but that's what it feels like. So I don't know what will happen when you go home tomorrow. Maybe I'll get scared again, or maybe the patch job will hold for a while. Who knows."

Kageyama grunted. "Okay. You should probably quit thinking so hard now. You might hurt yourself."

Hinata chuckled softly. His form was still in the dark, no hint of movement.

Kageyama stared sightlessly into space. He hoped Hinata would sleep now. He hoped he would rest peacefully through the night, unbothered by the noise of the storm, and that he would wake the next morning still with no fear beating in his head, no constant undercurrent digging out the foundation beneath him, flooding in and eroding his peace, his security, his health. He hoped that when he went home, Hinata would continue to be okay, that he would sleep soundly the next night as well and heal quickly and wholly from the wrong that had been done him.

He hoped a lot of things.

Hinata stirred sluggishly, not quite asleep yet, and Kageyama's eyes flitted to the pale shadow of his face again. His eyes had adjusted to the night enough for him to see that Hinata's eyes were half-open, watching him.

"Kageyama?" The word was barely audible above the sound of the rain, but Kageyama heard him easily.

"Yeah?"

"Will you tell me now? What was bothering you before?"

Kageyama went still. Part of him longed to unburden himself. He hated keeping secrets. He was terrible at it. Even Hinata, one of the most oblivious people Kageyama had ever met, was aware of how much it bothered him. But still...

"I don't want you to be afraid," Kageyama said. "It makes me very happy to know that you're not scared right now. And the thing that's bothering me... I think it will make you afraid again."

"Ah." Hinata was quiet for a long moment, considering this. Then, "It might not, though."

Kageyama blinked. "Hah?"

"It might not scare me. You won't know until you tell me." Hinata lifted his mouth above his top blanket to speak more clearly. "What I do know is that it bothers me to see you having trouble and to not be able to help you. It makes me feel weak and useless, and I hate that. You're my friend, and you're in pain, and I want to make it better. So please, do me the honor of trusting me, just a little. Please."

Kageyama's eyes stung, sharp and unexpected. He turned over on his back and stared up at the ceiling. His throat was tight, and his head felt hot.

He couldn't refuse this request. He wasn't able to. He didn't want to.

But he couldn't tell him everything, either.

Kageyama turned back on his side to face Hinata again. He could see a dim sparkle in the darkness: Hinata's eyes, watching him closely. Kageyama blew out a breath, gathering his thoughts.

"I never..." he began. He breathed in sharply and tried again. "I never told you about the guy that hurt you. I think about him a lot."

Hinata twitched in a way that was somehow interested and attentive. Kageyama almost smiled, amazed as usual at the way Hinata managed to communicate easily and effectively even when he wasn't trying hard at all.

"I don't even know what the guy did," Hinata said. "No one will tell me. I mean, I know he hit me in the head, that's obvious, but what did he do? Was it a brick or something?"

Kageyama's hands clenched into fists under his blankets. He breathed, in and out, slowly forcing his hands to relax. It hurt to remember. It hurt to picture it happening again, no matter how many times the images returned unbidden to his mind, forcing him to stop, to once again accept it and let it through.

"It was a wall," he said, his voice so low and choked that he could barely hear himself. "He grabbed your head and slammed you into a wall."

Hinata was silent. Perhaps he was as shocked as Kageyama still was every single time he remembered that moment.

"It happened so fast," Kageyama said. "Less than a second. You were talking with your classmate, and then it happened. We had no warning. Just...one second you were standing there, and then you were on your knees and there was blood and... And Tanaka and I ran to you. That's it. That's what happened."

Another long moment of silence. Then Hinata shifted under his blankets, his eyes still fixed on Kageyama. "This has been bothering you. A lot."

Kageyama held still, trembling. Then he nodded sharply, a grunt emphasizing his feeling. "It sickens me and maddens me. It comes back at odd moments all throughout the day. Suga-san says they're flashbacks. All I know is that I can't stand them. I remember the moment your head hit the wall, and it's like someone has punched me in the lungs, every single time. I hate it. It hurts like hell. And it won't go away."

"Oh, Kageyama." Hinata's voice was...so, so sad. Sad and soft and shaking. "I'm sorry. What a terrible thing to have to deal with."

He reached out from under his covers, his hand crossing the small distance between them again. Kageyama held still, making no move to stop him, nor to meet him. Hinata's hand reached his face...and once again gently touched his nose. Then he pulled back and tucked his hand under his covers again. In a sudden flare of lightning, his eyes were too bright.

"I think I'm fortunate," Hinata said, "that I don't remember that moment."

"Yes."

"I found it frustrating. I wanted to know what had happened. It seemed crazy and stupid that everyone else knew what had happened to me and I just...couldn't remember that one important second in my life."

"I'm glad you don't remember. I hope it never comes back. I don't want you to have to live with it, too."

"But I'm sorry that you have remember it, instead. I'm so sorry, Kageyama. What a horrible thing."

They fell still and silent, listening to the rain.


	18. Chapter 18

Hinata woke first on Sunday morning, too, but he didn't pull any pranks this time. He just woke Kageyama by gently clubbing him in the face with Stego-chan, then laughed like a lunatic when Kageyama bolted upright, snarling, and only barely refrained from going for his throat. "Good morning, Kageyama," he sang, cheerful as a bird in spring. "It's a beautiful day!"

Kageyama blinked about ten times in a row, slowly remembering where he was and what was going on. His eyes, twitching in confusion and irritation, found the window, and he peered out at the damp outdoors, a light drizzle still falling from the sky. "You call this beautiful?" he finally asked, incredulous, and his eye twitched harder when Hinata nodded complacently.

"Best kind of day," he said. "Nothing to do, nothing to worry about, I'm feeling better, the two of us are friends now... Everything's good!"

Kageyama gaped at him for a moment, then slowly forced his mouth to close. Hinata was feeling good. This was a good thing. He was not going to mess with it.

When he stopped to catalog how he was feeling (muscle aches gone, body completely rested at last), Kageyama was a bit startled to realize that he was in something like a good mood, too. Despite the low thrum of unease and guilt he still felt because of the secrets he was keeping, he felt better than he had yesterday. Sharing some of his burden of memory with Hinata must have been healthy for him. And Hinata didn't seem bothered by it, apparently just as happy and relaxed now as he had been yesterday. So maybe, for once, things had worked out well.

After a moment to contemplate all this, he smiled at Hinata in return. Hinata's eyes widened in astonishment, and then his grin grew impossibly bigger, taking up his whole face. "Amazing!" he gushed. "A smile from Kageyama that's not scary! The universe has truly blessed us today."

That was a bit too much to take. Kageyama shoved Hinata's shoulder, pushing him out of his personal space, and Hinata flailed at him with Stego-chan again, and Kageyama hit him with his pillow, and so they started the day with a sort of wrestling match. They kept it low-key, both avoiding jostling Hinata's head too much, but it was fun and friendly and it almost felt normal, like things were going back to the way they used to be, but better because they knew each other more now.

Overall, it was a good day. Despite the rain, which continued in fits and starts into the middle of the afternoon, a number of folks came to visit Hinata—neighbors, grannies, local shopkeepers who knew Hinata because he talked to them every morning during his commute to school. Kageyama had been right to think—when he saw all the gifts in his hospital room—that a lot of people knew Hinata and cared about him, but it was still gratifying to see just how many there were and just how much they cared.

Kouji and Izumi, Hinata's two closest friends from middle school, also came by. The visit was a bit tense at first. They were both just as short as Hinata, and they eyed Kageyama with distrust until Hinata put them at ease by insulting Kageyama ferociously and laughing happily when Kageyama insulted him in return. Then they relaxed and asked Hinata about his school and how volleyball was going and "What's with the stegosaurus, anyway?" and the visit passed easily and smoothly.

Later Hinata told Kageyama that the two had been on his team in that first volleyball match between Yukigaoka and Kitagawa Daiichi. Kageyama hadn't recognized them at all. Their faces must have flown right out of his memory the second the game was over. Unlike Hinata, whom even then he had known he would never forget.

"Well, Kouji actually plays soccer and Izumi plays basketball," Hinata said. "They only played volleyball with me that one time because I begged them, and they didn't even know the rules very well. They're good friends."

Somehow Kageyama didn't find it at all difficult to believe that Hinata had been able to persuade his friends to play a game they didn't know and didn't care about, just because he needed them. If Hinata asked Kageyama to play some weird game like water polo or American football, Kageyama would probably do his best, just because it was Hinata. He did not say this aloud, though, because Hinata was having enough problems with his head without it swelling from pride.

Hinata didn't nap as much as he had the day before, and once again he didn't seem to get any headaches or dizzy spells. No fear, either, as far as Kageyama could tell, and by now he was fairly certain that Hinata would tell him if things got bad again. If anything good had come out of this horrible, terrible week, it was that Kageyama and Hinata knew that they were friends now and they could both share things with each other. Even if Kageyama was still keeping a lot to himself...

Sometime in the afternoon, Kageyama asked permission from Hinata's for another guest, then made a phone call. The two of them were doing all right, but getting backup would not be a bad idea. Of course, Tanaka was willing and eager to provide it. He showed up an hour later with an overnight bag, ready to spend the night and take up the guard where Kageyama left off. Hinata accepted his company as if he had expected nothing else. Hinata's parents were just as gracious, and Natsu ambushed Tanaka the minute he stepped in the door, squealing in delight. He dropped his bag and swept her up in his arms, then piggybacked her around the dripping garden, laughing uproariously, until Mrs. Hinata made them stop.

Tanaka's arrival was like a gush of fresh air sweeping through the house, blowing out the staleness and bringing new life to everyone. Hinata perked up immensely and insisted that they should have some fun before Kageyama had to go.

Kageyama eyed him doubtfully. "What about your head?"

"It's fine! I haven't had a headache for a long time. The doctor said I can start doing things slowly, as long as nothing gets worse. So let's play a game or watch some TV. C'mon!" He pushed his fist into Kageyama's side, hard and insistent. "You've never had a sleepover, poor Kageyama. We have to do something to make up for that before you go home."

Tanaka made a tragic face at this revelation, and Kageyama's cheeks heated instantly. "I...I have too!" he sputtered. "It was just...a long time ago..."

Hinata turned sideways where he sat on the sofa and peered into his face. He leaned forward, his eyes narrowing, and Kageyama leaned back in an attempt to escape. "Oh really? When?"

"Well, you know..." Kageyama's voice fell to a disgruntled mutter. "Elementary school...birthday party..."

Hinata scoffed and waved a hand. "That doesn't count!" He turned to Tanaka for backup. "Does it, senpai?"

Tanaka shook his head, his expression gravely serious. He'd been sitting cross-legged on the floor, facing the sofa as the three discussed what to do, but now he was on his knees with his shoulders squared and his arms crossed over his chest in an almost military stance. "Absolutely not. We must take all necessary steps to remedy this terrible gap in our teammate's education."

Hinata nodded firmly. "Agreed." He grinned at Kageyama. "So! A card game first, then Truth or Dare!"

Kageyama recoiled. "Forget it! I am not playing Truth or Dare with you two! Not today or any other day."

Hinata made a face. "Ugh, fine, you big baby. At least Buta no Shippo, then."

Kageyama considered. It was a simple game, so it shouldn't hurt Hinata's head, and it was based on reflexes and eyesight, so he had a good chance of winning. After a moment, he nodded. Tanaka cheered, and Hinata popped off the sofa and went to a cupboard to get a deck of cards. He knelt on the floor and started laying out the circle, and Kageyama and Tanaka took their places as well.

They played several rounds of the game, and the winner changed each time. All three of them were quick and observant, and though Kageyama was sure that given enough time he would eventually pull ahead in the tally, he was fine with the way it ended up. It was especially satisfying to see Hinata moving swiftly and easily, slapping his hand down on the cards with no hesitation, no hint of weakness or stiffness from his injury. Kageyama was willing to concede, though, that there might still be some lingering effects, and they should probably play again when Hinata was fully healed to get an accurate assessment of who was really the best.

After another delicious dinner, which all three of them enjoyed, they watched an episode of Hinata's favorite anime. Then, at last, it was truly time for Kageyama to go. He'd previously arranged the time with his parents, and when the car arrived, he stood reluctantly and fetched his bag (repacked and extremely heavy) from Hinata's room.

Kageyama stood in the doorway of the main room, bumping the bag awkwardly against his shin, watching Hinata and Tanaka as they sat on the sofa and talked about the show they had just watched. Now that the time had come, he really didn't want to leave. It wasn't that he didn't trust Tanaka to take care of Hinata, but... Something in him wanted to be here, himself. What if Hinata got another headache or dizzy spell? What if he got scared again?

Hinata noticed him standing in the door and bounced over, leaving Stego-chan leaning against Tanaka's leg. "Hey, you got everything?"

Still trying to be a good host, even now. A corner of Kageyama's mouth twisted upward. "Yeah, I got it."

"Well, have a good trip home." Hinata fidgeted where he stood. His eyes were big and mournful.

He didn't want Kageyama to leave any more than Kageyama wanted to go. Kageyama looked down the hall, where he could hear his mother's voice, talking to Mrs. Hinata in the kitchen. "I could…" He looked back to Hinata and shrugged helplessly. "I could stay tonight, too, and just go to school from here."

Hinata shook his head and backed up a step, his hands wringing in front of him. "No, you should go! You didn't do any of your homework all weekend, even though you packed all those books. You'll feel better for sleeping in your own bed, too."

"Yeah, I guess." Kageyama glanced down at his bag. It was true that he had accomplished basically nothing over the weekend, at least when it came to schoolwork. Usually he wouldn't mind much, but he was close to failing a couple of classes and he _really_ didn't want more remedial lessons.

He looked at Hinata again. "You're not... You're still..."

"I'm fine." Hinata offered up a smile. "And if something happens, I have your number."

"Don't worry!" Tanaka called from the sofa, giving Kageyama a cheerful wave. "Your senpai is on duty! Hinata will be safe with me."

"I know." Kageyama forced himself to nod, then did it again, more decisively. Tanaka was an excellent senpai, and he cared deeply about Hinata. Even if those thugs should attempt an attack—a ridiculous fear in itself, yet he couldn't quite get it out of his head—Tanaka would beat them back. There was nothing to worry about.

And yet he couldn't help worrying.

Hinata made an exasperated noise and shoved Kageyama's shoulder, spinning him around, then put both hands on his back and pushed him a step down the hall. "Go on, go! Your mom is waiting for you."

"All right, all right. I'm going." Yet at the edge of the doorway he paused and leaned back to peek into the room again, watching Hinata settle down next to Tanaka on the sofa. Tanaka wrapped an arm around his shoulders, ruffling his hair, and gave Kageyama a thumbs up when he saw him watching.

Hinata waved both hands as if pushing him out the door. "Go!"

With a last nod, Kageyama went.

It was slightly terrifying to enter the kitchen and find both of their mothers chatting comfortably over tea as if they had known each other for ten years instead of just the last ten minutes. What were they even talking about? Kageyama hadn't been paying attention to their voices as he walked, his head full of other things, and once he entered the kitchen they both fell silent and gave him smiles. Mrs. Hinata was much better at the sweet-gentle-motherly-smile thing than Kageyama's mom was, but he liked his mom's face better, somehow, as disconcerting as her smile could be, because she was his mom.

"Ready to go, Tobio?"

"It was so good to have you visit, Kageyama-kun. Feel free to come back whenever you like."

Kageyama nodded in answer to both voices. His mother drained her teacup and said her goodbyes to Mrs. Hinata, and they made their way out into the cool evening, the world still damp and fresh with the recent rain. Kageyama's mother took his bag to stow it in the trunk, grunting a bit when the full weight hit her hand ("Good grief, Tobio-chan, did you bring everything you own?"), and they were off.

Kageyama stared out the rear window as they drove, watching Hinata's house disappear into the distance, then sat forward with a sigh. He let his head relax against the seat behind him as a wave of weariness washed over him. As much as he had wanted to stay with Hinata until everything was fixed and settled and completely healed, he had to admit that it would be nice to sleep in his own home again. Caring so much about someone else, focusing every moment on their needs and health and emotions… It was exhausting.

"How was your weekend, Tobio-chan?" his mother asked. "Hinata-kun's mother told me that he's doing much better already. It must have been a relief to see that."

Kageyama nodded. His shoulders relaxed a little more. "He said he hasn't gotten a headache or dizziness for a long time. We kept him asking him over and over, though."

She chuckled. "Yes, Mrs. Hinata also made it clear how very kind and devoted you've been in taking care of your friend. I'm proud of you. I had no idea that my son was such a mature and caring person."

Kageyama scowled out the front windshield. It wasn't really true. Before this awful week, he'd never been particularly mature and caring at all. It had taken Hinata almost being _murdered_ for him to even realize that Hinata was his friend. He was doing his best to make up for lost time, but he didn't feel like he deserved any praise for it. Especially since he wasn't even being completely honest with the guy he now considered his friend.

He glanced at his mother, considering her strong profile and firm jaw. Here was someone he could tell. He felt now that he could tell her anything and everything.

"Something bad did happen, though..." he started slowly. She gave him a sharp, intently listening look, then turned her attention back to the road. Kageyama pulled in a breath and sat up straighter. "The guy that hurt Hinata...he has friends. Thugs. Bastards, the lot of them. I guess you might call them a gang, though I have no idea if they consider themselves one, if they have a name for themselves or anything like that. Friday night, someone vandalized the gym where me and my friends play volleyball. I'm sure it was them. They're trying to intimidate us, I guess. And..."

He paused, swallowing. His voice fell, low and rough, struggling to push out this last confession. "I think it worked, a little, at least on me. We haven't told Hinata. He has enough to deal with."

His mother sighed. She lifted one hand from the steering wheel and rested it on his arm for a moment, warm and solid, assuring him of her presence. "I knew about the gym," she said. "But I didn't know it was bothering you this badly. I'm sorry to hear that. Please try not to worry. Everything will be all right."

Kageyama blinked. "Wait... How did you know about the gym?"

The side of her mouth lifted in a grim smile. "I've been talking to Takeda-sensei and Coach Ukai. I can't take on the case myself, of course, because there is a very obvious conflict of interest, but I can act as an advisor, so I've been doing that. I can't really share the details and I doubt you'd be interested in them, but..."

"Wait, what?" Kageyama sat up straighter and turned slightly in his seat to stare at her. "What are you talking about? Advisor? For Takeda-sensei and Coach Ukai?"

Her fingers tightened around the steering wheel, but her voice was deliberately light. "That's right. I finally listened to that message and called back the number Takeda-sensei had left. It was late, but I did it. Now I'm involved, and I will stay involved until everything has been concluded satisfactorily."

Despite the lightness of her voice, Kageyama heard the current of grief and guilt underneath it. He didn't know how to respond to it, didn't know how to take it in. He pressed a hand to his chest, trying to contain everything. "I...I don't understand," he said after a moment. "You...there's a case?"

"Well, of course there is!" A note of bitterness crept in, though she tried to make it sound like a joke. "Someone almost killed your friend, a fifteen-year-old child. That's assault, perhaps even assault with a deadly weapon. But it's far more complicated than we would like it to be, unfortunately. The juvenile justice system in this country is not, perhaps, as straightforward as we might want. And Hinata-kun's parents…" She stopped and drew in a deep breath. "Never mind. It's not my place to criticize."

She looked sideways at him, and her face melted open at the expression of confusion and hesitation on his face. "But don't worry," she said firmly, her voice strong and in control again. She looked to the road, her hands steady on the wheel. "We will find a way through. In the meantime, Coach Ukai has been circulating a petition to have the school hold another hearing. That might yield more immediate results."

"R-really?" Kageyama looked forward, blinking, his heart beating hard. He hadn't realized...he'd been so caught up in his trauma, his guilt, his terror and determination and utter resolve to everything he could to help Hinata, that he hadn't even realized that the adults were trying, too. They were all working hard.

He wasn't alone after all.

"Everything will be all right," his mother said, her voice gentle and soothing as it rarely, rarely was. The last time he'd heard this tone in her voice, he'd been eleven and almost delirious with a terrible fever.

Kageyama nodded. He believed her.

She pressed her foot to the floor as they accelerated over a hill, around a curve. Kageyama's stomach lifted with the moment of anti-gravity at the crest, and his heart thumped loud. His mother faced forward and drove like a demon, like a warrior, like a samurai charging into battle.

He'd never felt safer in his life.


	19. Chapter 19

Family angst, yeah, let's do it.

Mm, btw, gonna try to do updates Tuesday and Friday. Friday updates might be missing scenes instead of main chapters, though. It took me a long time to figure out what this chapter was supposed to be about and I'm not sure the next one will be faster.

* * *

Kageyama sat at his desk. He was not working on equations. He was staring at his phone.

His phone was stubbornly silent.

No. No, he had work to do. Kageyama resolutely turned his head away from the phone and looked down at the page in front of him. Math. Math that made no sense. Math that made his head hurt.

He looked back to his phone.

It had been a mistake setting the phone so close to him. Only a few centimeters away from his homework was not enough distance. Kageyama stood and picked up the phone, then marched over to his dresser, opened the bottom drawer, and dropped the phone into it. He pushed the drawer shut with his foot and walked back to his desk.

He stared at the math. He would be able to hear the phone if it rang. It was on top of a pile of winter clothes, not buried in the earth. If Hinata needed him, or if Tanaka had a question, or if something else happened, he would be able to hear the ring and he could abandon his homework immediately and go find out what was going on.

But what if someone texted him? That alert was much quieter. The winter clothes might muffle it, in that case. He might miss it. He might be late.

This wasn't working. Kageyama stood up again, crossed to the dresser, and retrieved his phone. He stared at it for what felt like a very long time, his face so tense and wrinkled that before long his forehead started to hurt a little bit. No, he didn't need to open it and check his logs again. For the dozenth time. Nothing had happened. Everything was fine.

He took the phone back to his desk and sat down. Then he opened it and looked at the messages and voicemails.

Nothing. He hadn't missed anything.

Kageyama set the phone on his desk and buried his face in his hands, his elbows digging into the hard surface with enough force to sting. Math. He had math to do. He'd been avoiding it for two full days now.

Not to mention the English vocabulary.

And...all the others.

Damn it.

The sudden knock on the door was startling but infinitely welcome. Kageyama jerked his head up from contemplating his imminent doom and looked to the door. "Come in." Whatever this was about, it couldn't be more distressing than what he'd already been doing.

His mom slid the door open and gave him a hesitant smile. "Am I interrupting anything? I want to talk to you for a moment."

Kageyama looked at the open textbook and silent phone, then back to his mother. He shook his head. "Please come in."

She moved gracefully to the bed and sat on the edge, facing him, her hands folded in her lap. Kageyama turned his desk chair to face her in return, his heart thumping dully in his chest. This seemed like it was going to be a very serious discussion. Had he done something wrong lately? He couldn't remember. If he had, it had all been buried in the insane pressure of this horrible week.

His mom cleared her throat and attempted a smile. He did not find it reassuring. Then she squeezed her hands together in her lap, and he just stared. Wait, was she...nervous? What on earth did she have to be nervous about?

"I know you have a lot of homework," she began slowly, "so I'll try to keep this brief..."

He nodded jerkily. "I know my reports haven't been the best..."

She raised a hand. "That's not...that's not what I meant." She looked down at the floor, then back into his face, meeting his eyes steadily. "Just... I've been bothered by something you said during the car ride home."

Kageyama blinked. "What?" Had he been rude or something? He'd been somewhat in shock and had not been terribly careful with his words.

She shook her head lightly, not at him but at herself. "No, not by something you said. It was the way you said it. You were just...so very, very surprised when I told you that I was talking to Coach Ukai and Takeda-sensei. I wanted to ask you why."

"Why?" It was the last question Kageyama had expected. He looked at the floor between them, his mind utterly empty. He had thought it would have been obvious.

She was silent, waiting patiently with her eyes trained on his face. Her posture had the solidity of someone ready to wait a long, long time.

"I...I hadn't realized..." Kageyama swallowed. "I hadn't realized that the adults were working too." He looked up and met her gaze, unable to refuse the earnest request there. "All I was thinking about was Hinata and...I never stopped to think about what everyone else was doing. I knew the rest of team cared about him and wanted to fix what had happened but... I don't know. I guess I felt like I was fighting alone. But I know now that that was very silly. I should have known better to think that."

She nodded gently. "It's easy to get caught up in the moment and lose sight of the bigger picture, especially when you're young and something this terrible and all-encompassing happens. I don't blame you for that, and I know your teachers wouldn't, either. What I meant was...something different, though. I can't help but feel like there's more to your reaction."

Kageyama's forehead wrinkled. "What do you mean?"

His mother hesitated, then sighed deeply, leaning down with her hands on her legs. Then she straightened up and faced him straight-on again. "I mean your reaction to the news that _I_ am involved now. You were so...so very shocked. Why?"

Something like terror stopped Kageyama's lips and sealed them shut. He stared at her with wide eyes, frozen where he sat, his breath stilled in his lungs. He just...didn't understand why this was a question. It seemed so fundamental, such a basic underpinning to their family, to his life, to the way things worked, that he couldn't even articulate it. Why...why was she asking this?

Again his mother became the very picture of patience, steady and waiting, watching him and listening silently until he was ready to speak. But as the seconds ticked by and Kageyama remained frozen, her eyes grew sadder, and sadder, until he could have believed that she was about to melt where she sat.

"I..." He felt compelled to speak, even though he didn't know what to say. He sucked in a breath and tried again. "You...you're...busy."

The single word didn't seem enough to explain it. His mother wrinkled her eyebrows and remained where she was, unspeaking.

Kageyama lifted a hand and waved it ineffectively in the air. For the hundredth time, he wished that he had Hinata's facility for words, for explaining himself, for telling stories and compelling everyone around him to listen and understand. "You and Dad..." he said, still not comprehending why he needed to spell out this principle of their family life. "You're busy. You both have so very many important things to do. You work very, very hard. You're gone from early in the morning to late at night, and sometimes more than that when you have to go on a trip, and even when you're home you have emails to answer and papers to read and all sorts of things you have to catch up on. Your jobs are just...very important. What you do is important. You are important. And you're always tired and you never get enough sleep and there's never enough _time_ and it's just the way things _are."_ He fell silent, unable to think of anything else to say to describe it.

His mom pressed her mouth into a thin line. Her voice had become very quiet, almost choked. "And what does that have to do with us being involved in your life?"

Kageyama blinked. Oh. He thought he finally understood the question. And the answer. "You're too busy for that," he said, with a faint pulse of victory at figuring it out.

"Ah. I see." And his mother lowered her face into her hands and wept.

Shock once again jolted through Kageyama, turning him to stone in his chair. His mother cried quietly, stoically, muffling the sounds against her palms. But he was sitting right across from her. He couldn't avoid it. It was like an icepick chipping away at his heart, drawing blood one thick, stifled sob at a time.

"Mom, Mom..." His voice was high and terrified. His feet were moving before he knew what he was doing, taking him over to the bed to sit next to her. He patted her shoulder with a shaking hand, completely at a loss. "Mom. Mother. Please...please don't do that. What should I do? Should I go get Dad?"

He'd been reading in the study, Kageyama remembered, but he had come out to greet them when they arrived at home. He had looked as tired and stressed as ever, and Kageyama had given him his usual polite greeting before carrying his bag to his room and attempting to do his homework. He was probably still in the study, or he might have moved to his office by now. Kageyama could get him, he could...

He started to rise, and his mother's hand shot out and clamped down on his arm. "Tobio."

Even through the tears, the command was clear. Kageyama settled back down next to her. His extremities felt numb. He didn't know what was happening and he didn't know how to fix it and it was...it was too much.

"Sorry..." he whispered.

"Don't apologize." Another command, clear and unmistakable even surrounded with sobs on both sides. She pressed her hand to her face for a moment longer, then raised her head to look at him. He'd never noticed the wrinkles beside her eyes before. The tears caught in her eyelashes and streaking her cheeks seemed to accentuate them.

"Tobio." She squeezed her eyes shut for a moment, then looked at him straightforwardly again. "Can you ever forgive us?"

His mouth opened and closed. "For...forgive you?"

She nodded, a sharp jerk of the head. "I beg you to forgive us. I'll bring your father in to ask for your forgiveness, too, but first I must ask if it's even possible, if there's anything we can do to earn it."

"I...I don't understand." His lips felt thick and clumsy. The words didn't want to come. "Wh-what do you need me to forgive you for? I mean, of course I forgive you, of course, you don't even have to ask, but... For what?"

His mother drew in a shaky breath. She let go of his arm and pressed both hands to her stomach for a moment, clenching them in the fabric of her shirt. Then she took his face in her hands, her still-damp palms gently pressing his cheeks. "For making you believe that you weren't important. For making you believe that you weren't important to us."

His vision wavered. He wanted to pull away, to escape her hands and her eyes and her trembling voice. He shivered where he sat, and she pressed a little tighter, holding him still.

"You didn't do that," he heard himself say. "You didn't make me believe that. That...that's ridiculous."

"Tobio." Her thumbs stroked his cheekbones, gliding gently along the length of them. "You are such an honest boy. You always have been. Don't start lying now, not even to yourself."

His lips trembled. "But I know you care for me. I've never doubted that. You don't have to feel bad, Mom, please don't feel bad, I've always known that you care about me."

"But you didn't know you were important, did you? You thought our work was more important to us than you were. And we made you believe it, because that's how we acted."

He closed his eyes. It was the only thing he could do to make this a little more bearable. "Don't...don't be silly."

"Oh, Tobio." One hand lifted from his cheek and began to card through his hair, brushing it back from his heated face. "Oh, my sweet child."

He swallowed and said nothing. His mother sat there and kept holding his cheek and petting his head, and slowly, gradually, he felt himself leaning into the touch. He didn't want her to feel bad. He didn't want to make her cry. But this...this, at least, he could accept.

Her voice was steady and strong again, though he thought he could still hear tears surging underneath. "You don't have to protect me from the truth, Tobio-chan. I know what we did. What I did. How different your life has been from that of your kind little friend. I knew the moment I stepped into the Hinata household and saw how different it was from ours. How warm and lively and comfortable. Our house might be larger, but it's not better. I'm a lawyer. It's part of my job to observe, to analyze and understand, to make judgments if they are needed. I can see the discrepancies between our two homes, our two families, and I have the clarity and soundness of mind to find ours badly wanting."

"No." Kageyama opened his eyes and looked to her face again. Her eyes were clear and calm, the tears hidden away. "You're judging yourself too harshly."

She smiled, slow and sad. "Somehow I thought you might say that. You forget that I also talked to Mrs. Hinata. I learned things about you from her that I had never dreamed to imagine. She's spent only a few days with you, less than a week, and she knows you better than I do. It's a shameful thing for any mother to admit, but it's the truth, and I must face my faults."

Kageyama's breath hitched. "Please stop talking about yourself like that."

"I'm sorry." She passed her hand over his forehead, his eyes, prompting him to close them again. "It's painful for you to hear me say such things, even though they're true. I'm sorry. Forgive me for this, too."

He sat still, just breathing, feeling her touch and her presence. He didn't know what else to say. He didn't know how to make her see…

"I...I forgive you," he said eventually, the words dragged one at a time. It didn't seem right, but it was what she'd asked for, so it was all he could do. "But, Mom…"

He opened his eyes and and looked at her. She looked back at him, strong and unwavering.

"I know I'm important to you," he said, "because I feel safe when I'm with you."

She smiled. Then she started to cry again. But these tears were different.

That was, unfortunately, not quite the end of it. Kageyama was forced to endure several more uncomfortable conversations before the night was done, all of them held sitting on the edge of his bed, a parent on either side. He couldn't remember the last time he'd had even one of his parents in his room, let alone both of them.

At least his father didn't cry. But he did look incredibly sad and disappointed in himself, which was just as bad. His mother also apologized for not keeping things brief, as she'd promised in the beginning, and all Kageyama could do was shake his head and say those awkward words once again.

"We were fools," his father told him solemnly. "Once you started middle school and became so involved in school activities, and we both took on more responsibilities at our jobs… Somehow we forgot that you were still a child and still needed guidance from us as well as food and clothes and a bed to sleep in."

Kageyama tilted his head. "I never asked for anything else."

"You shouldn't have had to," his mother said. "It was our responsibility to notice, and we failed."

Kageyama tried to disagree, but they wouldn't let him. It was starting to get irritating.

"We've missed out on a lot," his father said. "And we know you've been dealing with some very difficult things lately. But, if you have the time, we'd really like to get to know you again."

And then Kageyama cried, a little, the tears catching him off guard and spurting out before he could drag them back, and it was just horrifically embarrassing.

"About your homework…" his mom said when that part was dealt with.

"I should really get back to it," Kageyama said, starting to rise. "My reports have not been great."

She grabbed his wrist and held him back. "Not what I meant. What I was trying to say is that if you need any help…"

Kageyama's eyes widened. "I don't need you to hire a tutor."

She smirked. "Actually, I was thinking that your father and I could do it."

His father nodded, nudging his glasses back up his nose from where they had slipped. "I'm an accountant, after all. It would make me happy to teach my son math. I also like history."

"And I deal with international contacts sometimes, so I can work with you on English, and I've always loved literature," his mother said.

Kageyama nodded, but he didn't think they really understood what kind of time commitment they were making with that offer. "I study with friends sometimes," he said. "A couple of my teammates are really smart, and Hinata and I begged them to help us. Plus the new manager…"

His parents smiled, proud at this evidence of his effort, and Kageyama flushed under their silent praise. It was all very overwhelming.

"Tobio, you've certainly been looking toward your phone a lot," his mother said eventually. "Are you expecting a call?"

Kageyama started guiltily. "Eh, not really. I mean, I keep thinking that Hinata or Tanaka might call. Or text. But I'm not...really...expecting it." Not really hoping for it, because if they did contact him that meant something had gone wrong, didn't it?

She patted his head, and somehow that seemed proud, too. "If you're that worried about your friend, why don't you go ahead and text him first? Then he can let you know that everything is all right and you won't have to worry about it anymore."

He looked up at her, eyes wide. It had never occurred to him to text first. She laughed warmly and nudged his arm. "Go ahead. And we'll let you get back to your homework. But let us know if you need anything. Anything at all."

"We mean it," his dad said firmly.

And that was finally that.

Kageyama wavered for a bit between texting Hinata or Tanaka before finally choosing both. If Hinata was feeling well enough to use his phone, he'd be upset if Kageyama didn't send the message to him, and if he wasn't, Tanaka would answer. Kageyama glanced at the clock, but once again, it wasn't actually as late as it felt. He was worn out again, though this time it wasn't because of over-practice.

With the message sent, strangely, he was finally able to concentrate on his homework. At least for a few minutes at a time. When his phone buzzed, though, he snatched it up immediately and flipped it open.

From Dumbass Redhead: _i'm fine! don't worry about me, idiot! I'll see you soon, right?!_

From Loudmouth Senpai: _EVERYTHING IS UNDER CONTROL! I AM ON GUARD AND ALL IS WELL! DO YOUR HOMEOWKR!_

Kageyama smiled and closed his phone.

He had a feeling that he was going to sleep well tonight. And, hopefully, so would Hinata.


	20. Chapter 20

Kageyama had never had a problem with wanting to use his phone in class before. It had always rested in an obscure inner pocket of his bookbag, forgotten and unnecessary. He charged it at night and made sure it was with him in case of an emergency, but that was all.

A lot of things were different now. Kageyama had learned an astonishing number of things over the last few days, including how to text. His mother had even taught him that it was okay to contact someone else first, something that would have never occurred to him without her prompting. Now, it was like a seal had been broken, and all of the ridiculous and overwhelming outpouring of communication that had been bottled up between he and Hinata was suddenly happening all at once.

Hinata was texting him _all the time._ It wasn't even anything important. He'd texted him last night when he and Tanaka had bedded down for the night, and again when they woke up in the morning. He texted Kageyama about what they had for breakfast and what Natsu was doing. He texted him weird facts from the shark book Tsukishima had given him, he texted him funny things Tanaka said, and he texted him a picture of a cool bug he saw in the garden.

Kageyama had thought this would be annoying. When he'd impulsively given Hinata his number and told him to call if he needed to, he had figured a time would come when Hinata would contact him about all sorts of things. He had expected such messages to be irritating and distracting, much like Hinata's chatter in person could be.

Maybe it would get annoying in the future, Kageyama didn't know. But today...it wasn't. He looked forward to Hinata's texts. He found them interesting, reassuring, and sometimes amusing. Even though he didn't respond much, except to occasionally ask if Hinata was still feeling okay, Hinata kept communicating with him. And yeah, he told Kageyama when he got a little headache after lunch _(it went away really quick, promise!)_, which made it more believable all the other times he told him that he was still feeling fine, he didn't hurt, he wasn't scared, he was having fun, Tanaka was a great buddy for hanging out with, don't worry, just _pay attention in class for once and don't fall asleep, idiot!_

So, yes, Kageyama had never wanted to use his phone in class before, but now he did. He conscientiously tucked it away in that same obscure inner pocket whenever a lecture began, pulled it out when the teacher was finished speaking, and in between tried very hard not to think about it. He mostly failed.

Maybe it was because something was still a little broken in his brain. Or "wounded," as Sugawara-san would say. Kageyama was not over the bad experience of witnessing a violent crime being committed against his friend, not even remotely, didn't know if he would ever be. He still had flashbacks, though they weren't as bad as they had been before the weekend. His body still started trembling at random times and for little reason, forcing him to sit still, grit his teeth, and wait for the reaction to pass.

He was still amazed that he'd managed to complete most of his homework last night. Fortunately, none of his teachers called on him in any of his classes, so he didn't have to stammer and blush his way through a failure of an answer. A distant corner of his mind was aware of the sympathetic looks his teachers occasionally sent his way, and he was grateful that they were all giving him some breathing room. The adults cared, too, he knew that now. He would be a better student later, when this was all over. If it was ever over.

When classes were done for the day, Kageyama made his way slowly through the halls to the second gymnasium. His head was down, bent over his phone as he reread Hinata's texts, scrolling through them with his thumb. The latest text had been sent just before his last class ended. _buta no shippo is no fun with just two people! we're going to teach natsu, though, that will be interesting. have fun at practice!_

Kageyama looked up to find that his feet had taken him to the correct doorway, the correct walkway leading out to the gym, though he'd been paying very little attention to where he'd been going. Here was the concrete pillar where Isao had slammed Hinata's head into the wall. The hand holding his phone slowly lowered to his side, his other hand clenching on the strap of his bookbag, and Kageyama stood still and stared at the pillar, that spot on the wall.

Up until today, he had consciously chosen routes to the gym that avoided this spot. He hadn't looked at it, kept his eyes turned away. His mind's eye saw it supremely clearly without his willing it to, kept bringing the images back, the sounds, the horror and grief and overwhelming panic. He had not wanted to see it with his outer eyes again. But now his feet had betrayed him, and here he stood.

The painted concrete was clean and blank. No stain, no blood, no imperfection or divot to show where Hinata's forehead had struck it. The vomit had been cleaned up from the floor, leaving no trace, no scent. Other students walked behind and around Kageyama. None of them paused, none of them faltered at the sight or murmured to each other in uneasy awareness that something horrible had happened in this spot. It was just a place, a small point in a world full of small points. It meant nothing to them. A boy had almost been murdered here, and it meant nothing to them.

Kageyama dragged his eyes away from the wall, forcing himself to look up and out. At the gym. His breath halted in his throat. He had forgotten about the vandalism. Somehow, at morning practice, he'd managed to keep himself sleepy and fuzzy-minded enough not to notice. But he saw it now.

Someone—probably his teammates—had tried to scrub away the graffiti. The words were faded, but they were still legible. Someone would have to paint over them to make them disappear entirely. They had to do it before Hinata came back to school, they had to...

Most of the scrawls were insults and obscenities, fully expected and not particularly alarming. But...the longer messages... _This was just the beginning. We're not done with you._ On the door: _Don't come back. This place is ours now._ Beneath the window: _Next time we'll kill him._

Kageyama couldn't feel his fingers. He slowly lifted the phone in his hand and carefully closed it, then tucked it away. His chest started to hurt, and then he realized that he'd quit breathing.

A few frantic gulps of air, burning in his throat and his lungs. Kageyama stumbled out into the walkway and bent over with his hands on his knees, staring at the concrete sidewalk and breathing, breathing, breathing. He had to get ahold of himself. He had to figure out some way to deal with this.

They were just empty words, empty threats. They didn't mean anything. The people who put them there were just teenagers, students like themselves. They wanted to scare Kageyama and his team, wanted to make them back down and leave them alone. Kageyama had to be strong. He had to be brave.

A hand touched his back, large and firm. A deep, calm voice was speaking to him. Kageyama startled, abruptly jerked out of the endless circle of his thoughts, and looked up to find Captain Daichi looking down at him.

"...Kageyama...Kageyama..." His voice faded gradually into Kageyama's awareness. Kageyama blinked. "Kageyama, it's okay, everything's going to be all right. Calm down, now. Take a deep breath. That's it. Now another one."

Kageyama slowly straightened up, his eyes trained on Daichi's face. The captain breathed in and out, slow and steady, exaggerating the movements so Kageyama could follow him. When Kageyama was upright, Daichi's hands folded around his upper arms, warm and strong, holding him firm. A couple more deep breaths, following Daichi's lead, and Kageyama felt much better. The buzzing in his head faded, then vanished. He could feel his fingers again.

He had to look down, heat rising in his cheeks. "Sorry," he murmured. "That's never happened to me before."

"It's all right." Daichi squeezed his upper arms. "I'm sorry you had to see that. The school said they were going to paint over the graffiti today, but I guess they haven't gotten to it yet."

Kageyama's eyes strayed back over to the gym. Surely...surely he had misread it. Surely those _bastards_ hadn't truly made a death threat. It had to have been a trick of his mind, finding monstrosity in what was just some aggravating but ultimately harmless vandalism.

Beneath the window… It said, _Next time will be worse._ The characters were completely different. His fear had filled in something that wasn't there.

The reality was bad enough, though. Kageyama clenched his fists, forcing himself to stand steady, and looked back into Daichi's face. "Are the police taking this seriously?"

A frown pulled Daichi's lips down into a sharp curve. "They say they are. Those bastards seriously injured Hinata, after all. But don't worry. _We're_ taking it seriously."

Kageyama lifted his chin.

Daichi nodded, a proud gleam in his eyes. "We're taking it seriously," he repeated. "We will be careful. We will look out for each other. We will keep Hinata safe. And we will not back down."

Kageyama nodded. But his eyes slipped over to the gym again. He couldn't stop staring at those words, at this evidence of mindless hatred. He didn't understand. What had they ever done to these people? What was the origin of this hostility, this cruelty? It made no sense.

But none of this situation had ever made sense. It wasn't really a new problem.

Daichi's arm wrapped around his shoulders and tugged him toward the gym, drawing his attention away the vandalism, back to his captain's face. "Are you still up for practice? Do you need to go home?"

Kageyama shook his head, letting himself be ferried into the gym. "No, I'm...I'm fine. I was planning to visit Hinata after practice. I don't want to go home. I want to play volleyball."

Daichi nodded. "I thought you might say that. C'mon, let's go hit some volleyballs as hard we can."

Kageyama was off-balance through the entire practice, though, and he was pretty sure the rest of the team could tell. No one else seemed as thrown as he had been by the recent attack, and, in fact, most of them were back to their usual form after the disruption of last week. Kageyama had spent most of the school year learning to pay attention to his teammates, so he couldn't help but be painfully aware that, once again, he wasn't meshing well with his team.

They all tried to act as normal as they could, even Coach Ukai, who had them doing a regular practice after the somewhat easier drills they'd done last week. Kageyama didn't know whether that made him feel worse or better. No one was treating him like he was defective, which was comforting in a way, but it also made him wonder, a little, if it was all in his head.

At least that question was definitively answered when Yamaguchi, of all people, confronted Kageyama in the club room. Well, "confront" was putting it a little too strongly. He just hung around, looking uncomfortable, until he and Kageyama were the only ones left in the room. Kageyama had been moving slowly, still trying to get himself together. He was tired, too tired for just the aftermath of another volleyball practice, and the entire world seemed lightly misted in fog.

He'd been aware, in a dim way, of Yamaguchi in the corner of his eye, but he still halted in confusion when he turned toward the door and found Yamaguchi standing there, waiting, his arms hanging awkwardly at his sides. "Uh, hello…" Kageyama tilted his head, eyebrows wrinkling up as he tried to decipher this new anomaly in his life.

Yamaguchi smiled hesitantly and grabbed his left elbow with his right hand. "Hey, do you have a minute?"

"Sure." Kageyama glanced at the phone in his hand. Hinata wasn't really expecting him at any particular time. (His latest text had just been, _see you when you get here!)_ He set his bag down and faced Yamaguchi, trying to be open to whatever his usually timid teammate had to say.

Yamaguchi drew a breath, then seemed to find some resolve, his stance steadying. "I just...I couldn't help noticing that you weren't like yourself during practice. It was the graffiti, right? That's what's been bothering you?"

Kageyama blinked. "How did you know?"

"It's bothering all of us." Yamaguchi shrugged. "You just have it the worst, I think."

Kageyama narrowed his eyes, which Yamaguchi seemed to take as a sign of offense. He hastily waved his hands in front of him. "Not that there's anything wrong with that! They wrote some pretty awful things..."

Kageyama looked down at the floor, shoulders slumping, then met Yamaguchi's eyes again. "You're right," he said slowly. "I think I have it the worst. I didn't realize that it was bothering anyone else at all. I thought everyone else was... I thought everyone else was fine. I know you're all handling it better than I am. I've been..." His scuffed his foot on the floor. "I haven't been handling anything very well lately."

Yamaguchi nodded, shoulders loosening as he relaxed. "No, we really are pretty upset about it. You're not alone. And...um...it's okay, you know."

The corner of Kageyama's mouth twitched in something like a smile. "You sound like Sugawara-san."

"Thanks." Yamaguchi smiled sweetly at that. It lit up his whole face. He was really a nice guy. Kageyama didn't get why he hung out with Tsukishima so much.

"It's okay to be upset," Yamaguchi said earnestly. "Everything that's happened has been awful. I cried my eyes out that first night. And trying to clean up this mess yesterday was far from fun, even though we all did it together and it was nice to be with the team. I'm sorry we didn't do a better job erasing those awful words. We'll make sure they're gone before Hinata sees them."

"Daichi said that, too." Kageyama shifted slightly, beginning to wonder if there was a point to this whole conversation. Maybe Yamaguchi was the kind who had to ramble about obvious things for a while before he could get around to what he'd actually wanted to say.

There was a small silence. Yamaguchi stared at Kageyama with wide eyes. Then he finally sucked in a breath and opened his mouth again. "You were never bullied, were you?"

"Eh?" Kageyama was so shocked that he actually rocked back his heels. Yamaguchi stared at him with eyes wide and earnest and searching, waiting for his response. Kageyama rubbed a hand over his chin, considering the question. He didn't think one incident where a senpai almost struck him and another senpai protected him counted. He'd never been picked on or harassed, not that he could recall. He'd mostly just been...ignored.

"No," he said at last, hoping that Yamaguchi saw how seriously he was taking this. He didn't know where this conversation was going or why Yamaguchi had started it, but he was doing his best to listen and understand.

Yamaguchi nodded like he'd expected nothing else. "I thought not. But I...I was."

Kageyama's eyes widened. Suddenly a lot of things began to make sense. "That's… Wait… Did, did Tsukishima…?"

"Tsukki stood up for me." Yamaguchi's smile was small and self-deprecating, this time. "He didn't know me at the time. I don't think he even remembers it. But I learned something about bullies that day: They don't like it when people stand up to them."

"I probably could have figured that out on my own."

Yamaguchi nodded calmly. "They don't like it. It messes with their view of the world. They're used to being in charge, you see, and when someone defies that, their brains short-circuit. At first they try to strike back, to make the threat go away so they can return to being in charge of the world. But if that doesn't work, they break. They scatter like leaves. School-age bullies are worthless. They have no substance to them at all."

Kageyama was silent for a long moment, staring off into the distance. Yamaguchi's voice was the most certain and self-assured he'd ever heard it. He believed this very firmly, and he was doing his best to help Kageyama believe it, too.

Something bothered him about the entire premise, though. Kageyama returned his gaze to Yamaguchi, who met him squarely, his expression smooth and calm. "That's if all we're dealing with is school-age bullies, though. The way...the way that guy hurt Hinata, the way he sneered afterward, the cold in his eyes… That felt like something else."

Yamaguchi considered this with the same gravity and care that Kageyama had treated his question earlier. "You could be right," he said slowly. "Isao especially...there was something wrong with him. He didn't seem much like a teenager at all. He was an entirely different creature. But still, I'm willing to wager that most of those guys are just as pathetic as the kids who bullied me in elementary school were."

"Yeah," Kageyama said softly. "You might be right."

"In any case, it's easier when you're not alone. These kinds of people are cowards. They like easy prey. We have an entire team on our side."

Kageyama nodded. They had their team, and several wise, caring adults, and probably a good portion of the town. He bent down to pick up his bag, suddenly not tired anymore. The fog had lifted from the world. He was looking forward to seeing Hinata.

Yamaguchi gave him a smile and a nod, friendly, companionable, and walked with him out of the club room. Tsukishima was waiting at the foot of the stairs, half-sitting on the railing and listening to his music with his eyes closed. When they descended the stairs he opened his eyes, lowered the headphones to his neck, and gave Yamaguchi a welcoming nod. They turned and walked off together, but not before Yamaguchi turned and gave Kageyama a little wave of farewell.

Kageyama gripped his bag tighter and turned his body far enough to see the gym. He stared at the faded words on the wall. They didn't scare him anymore. They made him wary, made him cautious, made him aware that this wasn't over and there was still a lot of work to do before they could feel safe and secure again. But they didn't scare him.

He and Hinata had a good team.


	21. Chapter 21

Tuesday night, like Monday night, found Kageyama at Hinata's house again. The atmosphere was lively, not only because Nishinoya and Tanaka were both there as well, but because Hinata was returning to school the next day. "Just for a few hours!" Hinata kept reminding them, but that didn't prevent all four of them from being unreasonably excited at the prospect.

"It's gonna be in the afternoon so you can come to practice, right?" Noya asked, not for the first time, as he bounced all over the room picking up the cards from their latest round of Buta no Shippo. Kageyama didn't understand how Noya managed to ask a question, listen to the answer, then forget it immediately, but it seemed to be one of his many gifts.

"I want to, but Mom's not sure it's good idea," Hinata said once again. He was cross-legged on the floor, still somehow managing to bounce along with Noya even though he seemed to be sitting still. "I'm not supposed to play yet and she thinks it will be too tempting just to watch." Strangely enough, he also did not seem disappointed to be repeating the same information for the fourth or fifth time. He was just happy to be here with all of them, talking about a return to some kind of normality, even if it hadn't happened yet and it wouldn't even be that good.

"No faaaiirrrr," Noya groaned, dumping the messy pile of cards in Tanaka's hands, since it was his turn to deal next. "We miss you! It would be more fun with you there, even if you can't play."

"At least Tanaka-san will be back!" Hinata gave Tanaka a brilliant grin.

Tanaka smiled wolfishly, sloppily shuffling the cards on the floor in front of him. "I'll hit a bunch of spikes for you, promise." Noya thumped him on the back, overcome with joy, and Tanaka grunted and fell forward, scattering the cards again.

Kageyama leaned back against the sofa behind him and watched their antics, his eyes falling half-shut with contentment. It was good to see his teammates back to their usual high spirits. Tanaka and Hinata and even Noya had all been sadly subdued by the recent events, like puppies dampened by a sudden storm. Now they were fluffed up and jumping about again, and it felt like a piece of the world had clicked back into place.

He was still waiting for a chance to catch Tanaka alone and have a discussion with him, though. He wanted to ask how the last two nights had gone, if Hinata had had any more nightmares or bouts of fear. Tanaka was sharper than he appeared, especially when it came to how his teammates were doing mentally. Kageyama was sure that if anything like that had happened, Tanaka had noticed.

In the meantime, it was good to be together. Noya was going to take the watch tonight so Tanaka could go home and get ready for his return from suspension. Noya was just as eager and excited for the opportunity to have a "sleepover with Shouyou" as Tanaka had been, so all was well on that count. Kageyama would do his best to trust him with his important task, though it was strangely difficult.

Hinata's phone buzzed, vibrating loudly on the floor next to him, and he scooped it up and opened it with a ready grin. Kageyama opened his eyes a little wider to watch his face. "Who is it?" Every so often since he'd gotten here he had noticed Hinata's fingers start to twitch toward his phone before he restrained himself and brought his attention back to whatever they doing. It was fun to see his glee at having his anticipation finally realized.

"Kenma!" Hinata's eyes flicked back and forth as he read the message, his grin only growing. Kageyama felt a small, involuntary smile appearing on his own lips. Happy Hinata was ridiculously infectious. He didn't know how he'd never noticed it before.

"Must be good news, huh?" Noya asked, watching Hinata as well. They exchanged a glance and a smirk as Hinata remained bent over his phone, mutually acknowledging that, yes, Hinata was hilarious right now.

Hinata just nodded, oblivious to the interplay. He looked up from the phone, beaming sunlight all over the room, and turned it around so they could see the tiny screen. "He says he and Kuroo can definitely visit this weekend! They've talked it all out with everyone's parents and everything. They're gonna come on the Saturday morning train. It's gonna be so great!"

Noya grinned in unadulterated delight. "That's so cool, Shouyou! I know how much you like Kozume. Maybe they can even join us for practice over the weekend."

Hinata nodded enthusiastically, though his face fell a bit with the knowledge that he almost certainly wouldn't be able to join in. He turned the phone back toward his face and started tapping on the keys. "Yeah! That's...that's a good idea. I'll mention it to him."

Tanaka looked up from his (still disastrous) shuffling, glancing between Noya and Hinata, who was now studying his screen as if it was the only thing that mattered in the universe. "But we don't want to take your friends away from you, Hinata. Maybe we should save that idea for another time."

Noya sat up straight as if he'd been electrified, alerted by Tanaka's worried glance that he might have misstepped here. "Oh, right! Or we'd at least keep the practice short, wouldn't we?"

"Kozume probably won't want to anyway," Kageyama put in with a small grunt. "He's not fond of extra practice."

Hinata looked up at that, trying to hide the relief that swept across his face. "Oh, that's true. But if you guys want to borrow Kuroo for a while, I'm sure that would be fine."

Tanaka snickered. "Tsukishima will probably enjoy that." They all grinned, remembering the stories that had been passed around the Tokyo training camp about how very, very much Kuroo had annoyed Tsukishima, even after Tsukishima had agreed to practice blocking with him. Many of those stories had been spread by Hinata, come to think of it.

Hinata's phone buzzed in his hand, and he glanced at, still grinning at the memories. His face lit up even further at what he saw. "You guys are totally right. Kenma just made keymashes and said NO THANK YOU." He giggled as the phone buzzed again. "Ah, and now he's apologizing for the last text and saying that he's looking forward to the trip."

"Tell him we won't make him practice if he doesn't want to," Noya said, and Hinata nodded and started tapping again.

Kageyama's smile faded as he watched Hinata text his close friend. He couldn't ignore the small, sharp needle of disappointment that stabbed through him as the news sank in. Hinata was going to have good friends over for the weekend. He wouldn't need Kageyama to come.

Not that Kageyama had _wanted_ to spend another weekend here. It wasn't like he enjoyed having his time monopolized by an injured teammate. He had plenty of things going on in his life, plenty of stuff to do and things to take care of. It was good that Hinata didn't need him so badly anymore—it meant that he was getting better, and that was what Kageyama wanted more than anything else in the world.

Hinata finished sending his text and looked up, meeting Kageyama's eyes. He was still smiling, but it was different now, aimed solely at Kageyama instead of the phone in his hand or the world at large. "You're gonna come over again, right? We have to have that sleepover, finally!"

Kageyama huffed out a breath as a huge weight suddenly vanished from his shoulders. "Of course."

Yeah, he wasn't good at lying, not even to himself.

"All right, let's play!" Tanaka clapped his hands over the perfect circle of cards he had laid out, and the next round began.

Just a couple of games later, though, Hinata's phone buzzed again, and he scooped it up immediately, abandoning the card he'd just picked up. The other groaned at the pause in their game, but waited patiently for him to read and respond to Kozume's latest text. But something different happened this time.

Hinata had grinned brightly the instantly the phone sounded, of course, but as his eyes flicked back and forth, reading, the grin slid off his face. By the time he finished, his face was solemn and still, and a tiny wrinkle had appeared between his eyes. He sat still for what seemed an unnatural length of time, then slowly tapped out a response. His teammates eyed him warily, unsure what to make of this.

Hinata finally finished and set the phone aside, then looked back to the cards on the floor. "Okay, whose turn was it again?"

"Yours!" Nishinoya piped up.

Hinata reached for a card, but Tanaka bumped his shoulder. "Hey, what was that about? Something going wrong with Kozume and Kuroo's visit?"

Hinata glanced up, the card held loosely in his fingers in the action of turning over. "Huh? Oh, no, that wasn't Kenma. It was...someone else."

He flipped the card over and put it in the middle, on top of the current stack. He was staring fixedly at the pile, as if he was unwilling to meet their eyes anymore. Kageyama observed him suspiciously, his attention on the game fading abruptly. "Who was it, then?"

"Just a friend." Hinata shook his head. "C'mon, let's play."

They played, but both Hinata and Kageyama no longer had their hearts in it. The rest of the round was mostly a battle between Noya and Tanaka, with Kageyama and Hinata trading turns being the loser. When it was done, Tanaka picked up the cards again, but made no move to lay out another circle. All three of them were watching Hinata, now, and his eyes were on the floor.

The phone buzzed again and Hinata picked it up, much more slowly than he had before. He read the new message, the wrinkle between his eyes deepening, then slowly replied. His closed his eyes, the phone drooping in his hand, and rubbed his forehead with the fingertips of his other hand.

"Okay, that's enough," Kageyama said. "You're not allowed to get headaches."

He made a move to snatch the phone from Hinata's hand, expecting him to jerk it away and glare at him. But Hinata didn't even twitch, his eyes still closed, and his fingers released immediately when Kageyama gripped the phone. Kageyama held the phone loosely in front of him in both hands, gaping at Hinata in dismay. What the hell was this?

Tanaka and Noya glanced at each other in concern. Tanaka, sitting next to Hinata, wrapped an arm around his shoulders. "Oi, Hinata. Is Kageyama right? You got a headache?"

Hinata nodded limply. He was pressing both hands to his forehead now. Tanaka pulled him closer into his side. He reached his other hand around and wrapped it around the side of Hinata's head, encouraging him to rest his head on his shoulder. Hinata did so with no hesitation. It looked like they'd done this before.

Noya jumped to his feet. "I'll find Mrs. Hinata and get his pain medicine." He walked briskly out of the room.

Kageyama sat frozen on Hinata's other side, still holding the phone. "Hinata... Is it okay if I look at your messages?"

He was torn between a strong urge to find out who it was that had given Hinata this new headache so he could go punch them in the face and an equally strong urge not to invade Hinata's privacy. There was probably a reason Hinata hadn't just told them about whoever he was texting, and Kageyama didn't want to mess anything up between them by snooping where he wasn't invited. But he couldn't deny the feeling that they probably needed to talk about this, whatever it was.

Hinata was quiet for a long moment, just leaning into Tanaka's shoulder. Then his eyes slit open, studying Kageyama warily. "Don't be mad at Kimura-san. It's not her fault."

"Kimura-san?" Kageyama stared at the phone in his hands.

"Yeah." Hinata blinked, slow and tired. "She didn't mean to give me a headache, just like Kenma didn't mean to last Saturday. It just got... It was just a little too much. I'll be fine."

"Is she the classmate you were talking to?" Tanaka asked. His voice was soft, and he was still gently cradling Hinata's head. It was a little strange to see him being so careful and quiet, but it seemed to come naturally in that moment. "Before...before you got hurt?"

"Mmm." Hinata didn't move his head to nod or move at all, which told Kageyama exactly how badly he was hurting. "When I got my phone back I texted her right away to apologize for what happened and make sure she was okay. She didn't answer until just now."

"It wasn't your fault," Kageyama burst out, sudden and fierce.

Hinata smiled. "I know. But it seemed polite to apologize. Especially after... Especially after you told me how much it hurt you to see that happen. It must have been awful for her, too. I feel bad for her. She's a kind girl. I'm sorry she saw that."

Kageyama looked down at the phone again. He could understand those feelings. He'd felt sorry for this girl that first day too, though very briefly, his concern for her quickly buried in the overwhelming terror he'd felt for Hinata. He had hoped vaguely that someone was looking after her, but had never bothered to find out if that was true.

Of course Hinata cared more, though. Hinata always cared more about other people. He had that ability, an overflow of concern and care from a generous heart. Kageyama did not have the energy for such things, had never had the energy. His world had always been very narrow. Up until recently it had consisted of almost nothing besides volleyball and the occasional concern about the next time he would eat.

Karasuno had changed a lot of things for Kageyama. He'd begun to notice how important people were to being good at volleyball, how he needed to learn to relate to his teammates, to communicate with them so he could draw out their potential the way Oikawa did. Realizing that people were important to volleyball had opened the door for Kageyama to begin realizing that people were important, period. And that had paved the way for him to finally, finally notice that Hinata was his friend and probably had been for quite some time.

So Hinata cared about this girl and the fact that she had witnessed a traumatizing incident, just as Kageyama and Tanaka had. Of course he did. Of course he cared. Kageyama had been foolish not recognize it until this very moment.

He looked up at Hinata. "Is it all right if I look at your messages?" he asked, more slowly and carefully than he had before.

The problem with caring about other people, Kageyama had instantly learned, was that it opened you up to being hurt. He had cared about Hinata, even if he hadn't noticed, so seeing Hinata being attacked and wounded had struck him to the core in a way he had never imagined. If Hinata wanted to, he could also hurt Kageyama directly, something Kageyama would have never believed possible before this insane week.

Had this girl Hinata cared about managed to hurt him somehow? It suddenly seemed all too likely.

Hinata watched him dully for a moment longer. "You're not going to let this go, are you?"

Kageyama shook his head, his fingers tightening on the phone.

Hinata sighed and closed his eyes, leaning further into Tanaka. "Okay, fine. But remember what I said. Don't be mad. She didn't do anything wrong."

Noya finally returned with a glass of water and a couple of pills. Hinata took the pills, still not moving from Tanaka's side, and the other boys settled down to wait for him to feel better. Even Noya was curbing his natural fidgetiness, doing his best to be still and quiet for Hinata's sake. Kageyama knew from experience that the painkillers would kick in soon enough. They just had to be patient, and then they could go back to having fun.

In the meantime, Kageyama opened the phone and found the text logs. It was still open to Kimura. He scrolled up to the top to read from the beginning.

Hinata's first text was very typical of Hinata, though the exclamation points were somewhat reduced. He rambled about how he was all right and getting better and how sorry he was that she'd seen something so ugly, and he hoped that she was okay and not bothered by it, and he was looking forward to talking to her again when he came back to school. It was friendly and innocuous and kind. Kageyama couldn't imagine anyone responding to it with anything but happy acceptance and agreement.

But Kimura's text in return was very short and pointed. _I'm glad you're getting better. But I don't think we should talk again._

Hinata: _What's wrong? I'm sorry, did I do something to offend you?_

Kimura: _I just don't want to talk to you anymore. Please don't bother me again._

Hinata's reply stabbed at Kageyama's heart. _Okay. Please forgive me for whatever I did. I won't bother you again._

There was no reply, and plenty of time had passed since then to allow for one. She wasn't going to explain herself. She wasn't even going to tell Hinata that he was forgiven for whatever imaginary offense he'd committed. She was just going to leave it there.

Kageyama glanced up at his teammates. Noya and Tanaka were talking quietly about something or other, but met his eyes when he looked at them, their expressions carefully blank. They kept talking, just providing some white noise to soothe Hinata, who still leaned against Tanaka with his eyes closed. Tanaka's fingers carded rhythmically through his fluffy hair, slow and careful.

Slowly, quietly, Kageyama pulled out his phone and copied Kimura's number into his contacts. He set Hinata's phone down where he would find it quickly once he felt better. Then he stood up, careful to make no scuffing noise on the floor mats, and moved over to a corner of the room. He kept his head down as he tapped out a message.

_Kimura-san, this is Hinata's friend, Kageyama Tobio. Please explain what he did to offend you. It's bothering him very much and I want to resolve it if I can._

He thought he might have to wait for a long time for a response. She probably wouldn't want to talk to him, and even if she did, she might not see the text right away. Yet he could not tear his eyes away from his phone, staring fixedly at the text log, his own words on the screen, as if he could will a response to come quicker just by wanting it to.

After only a minute or two, the phone vibrated in his hand and a text appeared. Kageyama started a bit in surprise, then narrowed his eyes as he read the tiny characters on the tiny screen.

_He didn't offend me. There's nothing to resolve._

_Then what's wrong? Why are you cutting off your friendship with him? You hurt him, and he's already been hurt enough._

Kageyama was probably being offensive himself, but he didn't care. He wanted to know what was going on. If he had to provoke this girl to get an answer, that was fine with him.

_I didn't mean to hurt him! I just can't be seen with him anymore._

_Why not? He's a good person. It won't hurt your reputation to be seen with him, will it?_

_That's not the point! Just leave me alone. I don't have to tell you anything. Stop texting me._

Kageyama frowned. If he were a good person—if he were Hinata, for example—he would stop now. He would apologize for bothering her and promise never to speak to her again if that was what she wanted.

Kageyama had never pretended that he was a good person.

_I'm sorry, but I can't accept that. Just tell me why you're doing this and I promise I'll never bother you again._

The phone was silent for a long while. Hinata finally began to stir again, lifting his head from Tanaka's shoulder and blinking around in a daze. Tanaka kept his arm wrapped around Hinata, occasionally lifting his hand to pat the back of his head. After another moment, Hinata began to join in on whatever stupid conversation Tanaka and Noya were having, slowly at first, then beginning to smile and sparkle again as the medicine finally, finally did its job.

Kageyama was considering going over to join them, or possibly sending another, even more aggressive text message, when his phone vibrated. He turned his back to the room and lifted it closer to his face, his free hand clenching in a fist.

_It's those upperclassmen. The ones who were with that guy when he hurt Hinata. They told me that it would be better for me if I stayed away from Hinata from now on. They said I would be safe as long as I stayed away. That's all they said. But they scared me. They seemed really serious. So I'm going to take their advice. Please tell Hinata I'm sorry. But I'm never going to speak to any of you again, and I beg you not to speak to me._

Kageyama's teeth clenched so tight that he could feel the muscles bunching along his jawline. This...this cowardly girl...

But then, could he really blame her? Kageyama had felt the icy cold touch of terror when he saw those words painted on the gym, even just when he heard about them. And those words hadn't even been aimed at Kageyama specifically. No one had stopped him in the hall and warned him to stay away. No one—not one, much less the two or three she must have faced—had cornered him and loomed over him, threatening him with body language and tone of voice. Even if they had, he was not a tiny female facing male intimidation. That was something entirely different.

And how long had she even known Hinata? All year if they were in the same class, but how much time had they spent talking one-on-one? Hinata had never mentioned her before, and he was the kind who talked about everyone he knew and everything that happened to him, just because he liked to share his life with those around him. Their budding relationship must have been a very recent thing.

It was no wonder that she had crumbled and fled, with so little foundation to fall back on.

Kageyama closed his eyes and breathed deeply, struggling to accept this. Hinata made friends easily, but not shallowly. Even a new relationship in first bud was dear to his heart, and having it suddenly cut off and frozen had wounded him deeply. It was no wonder that it had given him a headache. His heart must be aching, too. Whatever this girl had meant to him, whatever possibilities he had imagined for their future, all was gone now, twisted off and discarded like refuse. That was a hard thing, a sad thing, and it was affecting Kageyama as well.

Another new thing about having a friend.

After enough time to calm down, Kageyama opened his eyes and looked at his phone.

_All right. I understand. I will not bother you anymore. If you ever change your mind, I'm sure Hinata will accept your friendship easily, because that's the kind of person he is. But I will not. Do not betray him again._

After sending the message, he deleted the text log, then her contact number. And he went back to his friends and sat in their circle again and suggested that they play a different game, one that did not require quite so much slapping and yelling. The evening passed as pleasantly as it could.

Tomorrow, Hinata was going back to school. They needed to focus on that. Nothing else mattered.


	22. Chapter 22

Kageyama stood by the front gate of the school, shifting from foot to foot. He resisted the urge to check the time on his cell phone. He already knew it would be just a couple of minutes after the last time he'd checked.

Not quite eleven o'clock. He'd been fortunate to have an understanding teacher who excused him to come out here and meet his friend. If Hinata was making his own way to school, Kageyama might be worried, but he couldn't imagine Mrs. Hinata being unpunctual. He didn't believe that she was capable of being so undignified. No, she would be on time, and she would also be on time to pick up Hinata later, after school ended but before club activities began.

There were several good reasons that Hinata was not allowed to ride his bike or take public transport, not until he was fully healed. Hinata had even agreed to it, though reluctantly, aware that it would be absolutely disastrous for him to have an accident and hit his head again, which was an unfortunate possibility since he was still getting headaches and dizzy spells. It made plenty of sense, though Kageyama knew that Hinata was embarrassed about needing his mother to pick him up and drop him off as if he was a toddler again.

Then there was, of course, the reason that they weren't sharing with Hinata. Those bastard third-years were still a problem. They had intimidated Hinata's classmate and tried to intimidate the volleyball club, too. They weren't done. Under no circumstances could Hinata be allowed to travel alone, not even from the school gate to his classroom.

So Kageyama waited, trying not to fidget. He pushed his fists deep into his pockets and scowled at the ground, steeling himself to show a pleasant face when Hinata finally appeared. He didn't want to scare the guy. He didn't want him to be scared ever again, even when there were things to be scared of. Kageyama wanted to be able to fend it off on his own, so Hinata could remain happy and oblivious, grinning that bright grin of his, unshadowed and free. Kageyama wanted that more than he wanted anything else in the world right now.

Kageyama had spent a lot of time thinking about ways to make sure that today went smoothly. He'd memorized the long list of symptoms that, if they appeared, mandated a trip to the infirmary for Hinata to rest and recover. (It had been easy—Kageyama had always been good at memorizing things he actually wanted to learn.) The senpai had agreed to leave today to Kageyama and the other first-years, knowing that unusual behavior was likely to make Hinata notice and start questioning what was going on. Kageyama sticking by Hinata's side like glue would probably be accepted easily, considering how much time they'd been spending together lately. If all went well, Hinata would navigate his short school day completely unaware of the precautions they were taking, then go home and sleep soundly tonight, still oblivious. Daichi was taking the watch tonight, so Kageyama had no doubts that Hinata would feel safe in his house.

The sound of a car prompted Kageyama to raise his head and smooth out his expression. Before the car came to a stop Hinata was half-leaning out his open window, waving at Kageyama and shouting a cheerful greeting. Kageyama nodded back, then gave Mrs. Hinata a polite bow. She smiled warmly and waved to him through the windshield, much more demurely than her son, as Hinata jumped out of the car and trotted over to meet him.

"Hi, Kageyama!" Hinata bounced on his toes, adjusting the strap of his school bag on his shoulder. He turned to wave to his mom as she drove away, and she honked the horn briefly in farewell before the car vanished down the road. Hinata turned back to Kageyama with a mischievous sparkle in his eye. "Or should I call you 'grumpy nii-san?'"

Kageyama grunted. "Not at school." He reached out for the handle of Hinata's bag. "Here, give me that."

Hinata relinquished the bag without a fuss, grinning brightly. "Or I guess it should be grumpy nii-_chan,_ shouldn't it? Since I'm older than you and all."

Kageyama huffed out a breath and led the way back toward school, the bag bumping against his leg. "You'd better not."

"But what if I did? You can't use the iron claw on me while I'm recovering from a head injury."

Kageyama gave him a narrow look. "I'd figure something out. You know I would."

Hinata's steps slowed momentarily, his eyes widening. But Kageyama knew what Hinata looked like when he was scared, now, and this wasn't it. Still, he'd succeeded in instilling some caution in the brat. "Fine then, I won't," Hinata declared after a moment. "But only because I don't want to embarrass you in front of everyone at school. Not because I'm scared of you."

Kageyama smiled at that, swift and involuntary. "I know."

He was glad Hinata wasn't scared of him, after all. He was glad Hinata wasn't scared.

Hinata quickened his pace to catch up, and Kageyama matched him without thinking. "Or I could just call you Tobio-chan," Hinata said. "It's a really cute name."

Kageyama felt his cheeks heat up. He liked the way his mother said that name—something about it made him feel safe and warm and...and cherished. But it sounded really weird coming from Hinata.

"Ah." Hinata's voice went thoughtful. "I'm making you uncomfortable. Sorry. I'll stick to Kageyama, right?"

"That would probably be best." He didn't mind Hinata teasing him. It was refreshing, in a way, a return to the partnership they'd shared before all this happened, but closer and more comfortable than before. He didn't exactly want to encourage it, though. It had the potential to get very annoying, very quickly.

Hinata kept chatting about inconsequential things as they traveled through the halls, which were thankfully empty. Kageyama kept an eye out, even so, but didn't see any shady third-years hanging around corners or watching them from windows. Almost too quickly, they reached Hinata's classroom. Mrs. Hinata had indeed been punctual—they arrived at a break between classes, so they weren't interrupting anything.

Hinata reached out for his bag, but Kageyama shook his head and opened the door. "Your desk is that one in the back, right?"

"You don't have to carry it all the way..." But Kageyama was already there.

He hefted Hinata's bag onto his desk and nodded to Hinata's nearest seatmates, Koganei and Sakurai. He had sought them out earlier in the week and talked to them to make sure they understood their responsibilities as Hinata's neighbors. If Hinata had any problems during class, they were supposed to take care of him. Both had agreed to fulfill their duties, though they had looked at Kageyama a little strangely. Having secured the promises he'd set out to get, Kageyama hadn't minded in the slightest.

He paid no attention to the other students. Kimura was here somewhere—probably sitting quietly at her desk with her face turned away, pretending they weren't there. Kageyama didn't care. He wished Hinata didn't care, either, but he knew that was probably too much to ask for.

"All right." Kageyama huffed in satisfaction and turned to face Hinata, who was wandering slowly up behind him. "I need to get to class, but I'll meet you here for lunch."

Hinata smiled, the confusion that had marred his face melting away. "Okay! See you then."

Kageyama made his way toward the door, but before he got there he turned back to look at Hinata again. Hinata was settling at his desk, pulling out a notebook and nodding at something Koganei was saying. "Have a good morning, Hinata."

Hinata grinned and waved. "You too! I'll see you soon."

Kageyama's lips twitched in a smile that was almost involuntary. Then he walked back into the hall and down it toward his own classroom. He'd done everything he could. All he could do now was hope that it would be enough.

X

At lunchtime, Hinata's classroom had emptied out a bit, so Kageyama appropriated a nearby desk and dragged it over next to Hinata's. Hinata had already set his bento on his desk, though he hadn't unwrapped it, just staring at it thoughtfully. Kageyama drew out his own lunch and set it on the surface in front of him, frowning. "Are you all right, Hinata?"

"Hmm, what?" Hinata looked up, his face lightening instantly. "Oh, hello! Sorry, I was just thinking."

"Tch. Don't do that too much. You'll hurt yourself."

Hinata grinned, the flesh around his eyes creasing. He pointed at Kageyama's bento. "What did you bring today?"

"I don't know. My mom packed it." Kageyama stared down at the box, his forehead wrinkling. It had been years since his mother had made lunch for him, but she'd done it all three days so far this week. It felt strange, and he hoped she wasn't wasting time on it that she ought to be spending on other things. But it was really nice.

"Hello, Kageyama, Hinata!" They looked up at the cheerful voice to see Yamaguchi making his way to them, Tsukishima lagging significantly behind him with his customary bored expression. They were both carrying their own bentos.

"Hi, guys!" Hinata waved at them with both hands, his eyes sparkling. He hadn't seen them since Saturday, and while Kageyama wouldn't have thought that that was enough time to miss these two, apparently Hinata felt differently. He was all but bouncing in his seat. "It's good to see you!"

Yamaguchi and Tsukishima also dragged desks over to join Kageyama and Hinata, maneuvering them so that they could sit facing each other. Then Yamaguchi started pulling over another desk, and Kageyama knew who it was for, but the action seemed strange without context. He glanced at Hinata, but Hinata was happily oblivious, concentrating on unwrapping his bento and talking to Tsukishima, who answered in grunts and single words. (Hinata's bento was in Tikachu wrapping again—Natsu must have done it.)

Before Hinata could notice the extra desk and ask why it was there, the last one of their group appeared—Yachi, leaning shyly in the door and glancing around as if unsure of her welcome. Yamaguchi saw her and hurried over to greet her, easing her into the strange classroom and over to their circle of desks.

If Hinata was happy to see Yamaguchi and Tsukishima, he was overjoyed to see Yachi. He jumped up when he saw her, managing to ram his knee into his desk, which made Kageyama rise in alarm, too. Only Tsukishima was still sitting as Yachi and Yamaguchi arrived at their circle.

"Hello, Yachi!" Hinata's arms were spread in effusive joy.

Yachi's shoulders relaxed, her cheeks pink, a three-cornered smile appearing to light up the room. "Hi, Hinata! We're all really glad that you're back at school!"

Hinata looked around at the four of them, his smile turning softer, warmer. "Yeah, I can see that. I'm glad to be back, too."

Yachi had made Hinata a homemade card to welcome him back. Yamaguchi had brought him a slice of cake, carefully packed in its own special box to prevent it being crushed in his bag. ("Chocolate, right? Tsukki said that's your favorite!") Kageyama had not brought a physical gift, but he didn't think Hinata minded.

Lunch was fun, the five of them sitting together, occasionally trading items from their bentos, talking and laughing. Kageyama usually rushed through his food, keeping his head down and not talking to anyone, so he could get in some extra practice or just escape his classroom and wander around the campus for a while. This lunchtime was much more leisurely and relaxing. He could understand why most students liked doing this. With the right group of people, it wasn't a chore.

When most of them had finished their food and were just leaning back in their chairs, still chatting, Hinata made a face and stood up. "Gotta use the toilet. I'll be right back."

The others glanced at each other, and Kageyama grimaced. Before he could stand, though, Yamaguchi leaped up and said he needed to go, too, and of course Tsukishima rose then, grumbling softly and unconvincingly about what a pain it all was. Kageyama's knees froze, and he remained sitting, inwardly rebelling at the idea that he might look like he was copying Tsukishima if he stood up, too. Tsukishima gave him a veiled look, obviously understanding. He just shrugged lazily and slumped after Yamaguchi and Hinata, who were already halfway to the door.

"Are you all right, Kageyama?" Yachi asked, and he turned his attention back to her.

"Yeah. I just worry about that dumbass, that's all."

She smiled hesitantly. "I'm sure he'll be fine with Tsukishima and Yamaguchi looking after him. They both care about him, you know. Tsukishima pretends not to, but he really does."

Kageyama nodded. If nothing else, the gift of that dumb stegosaurus had proved that.

Yachi clasped her hands in front of her on her desk, fingers twisting together. "Do you think Hinata is doing okay in school?"

"He's only been back in class for an hour," Kageyama couldn't help pointing out. "But yeah, as far as I can tell he seems to be okay. I don't think he's noticed how careful we all are being, either."

"That's good." Yachi face loosened in relief.

Eventually Hinata would probably notice that something was up and ask them what was going on, and they would have to tell him. But the longer they could avoid that, the more time they could give Hinata's brain to rest and recover without the burden of fear, the better. The entire team was agreed on this point.

After a while, it felt like the bathroom trip was taking too long, and Kageyama started getting restless. Yachi was saying something, but he didn't have the attention span to listen to the words anymore. Without a conscious decision to do so, he stood up and started moving to the door, intent on finding out what the hold-up was.

Halfway through the door, Kageyama halted, paralyzed in mid-stride. Hinata was just down the hall, and there in front of him were three third-years. Third-years Kageyama recognized. They had been in the group hanging out with Isao that day.

They didn't look particularly threatening at the moment—they were just standing there, not menacing Hinata with their body language or tone of voice, as far as he could tell. He couldn't make out the words from here, but the one who was speaking had a pleasant smile on his face. Their uniforms were even relatively neat and tidy, not like Kageyama remembered from that day.

Hinata was smiling back. He had no idea. No, of course he didn't. He hadn't noticed the group of thugs before they attacked him anymore than anyone else had, and afterward he'd been too confused, and his short-term memory had ceased to function for a time. If Hinata met Isao on the street, he wouldn't know who he was.

The realization sent a jolt of terror through Kageyama, electrifying every nerve-ending. He felt like he'd been set on fire and plunged into ice-cold water at the same time. _Hinata had no idea._

Before Kageyama was able to force himself out of his paralysis, Tsukishima and Yamaguchi appeared, moving up behind Hinata. They must have been there the whole time—Kageyama just hadn't noticed them, entirely focused on Hinata and the third-years. Tsukishima moved swiftly and gracefully, interposing himself between Hinata and the guy who had been talking to him. He stood as tall as he ever did on the court, eyes narrow, lips thin, his slender figure looming like a grim-faced specter. His hands were in his pockets and his shoulders were slumped, yet he managed to project an air of pure menace that gave no indication at all that he was two years younger than the guys he was facing off with.

Yamaguchi had placed his hands on Hinata's shoulders, gently but firmly pulling him away. Hinata stared at him in confusion, the smile sliding off his face, then looked back to Tsukishima, now standing between him and the guy he'd been talking to. The third-years seemed taken aback by Tsukishima's sudden appearance—he was taller than all three of them, and his cool, blank face with its mere hint of disdain was somehow much more intimidating than anything they could have mustered.

It all happened in only a few seconds. Then Kageyama was marching out of the classroom and down the hall to stand by Tsukishima, his hands clenched into fists and a fierce scowl tightening his face. The third-years watched his approach without interest; Tsukishima had been a surprise, but they already knew who Kageyama was.

"Why are you here?" Tsukishima asked the upperclassmen. His voice was its usual apathetic drawl, but Kageyama could hear the strain underneath, carefully hidden. "The classrooms for your year are on the other side of the building."

The leader of the group attempted a smirk, but somehow it wasn't half as disconcerting—and frightening—as Isao's had been. "Just wanted to welcome little Hinata-chan back to school. We all have only the best wishes for his health."

Kageyama looked over his shoulder at Hinata. "Is that true? What did he say to you?"

Hinata blinked at him, wide-eyed and befuddled. Yamaguchi's fingers tightened on his shoulders. "Yeah, it's true. All he said was that he'd been there when I got hurt, and he was glad I was back and he hoped that nothing else bad would happen to me."

Kageyama nodded sharply and looked back to the third-years, his scowl deepening.

Tsukishima tsked, continuing to stare them down. "Ah, I see. You truly have only good wishes for our teammate?"

The leader grinned, sharp-toothed. Kageyama squared his shoulders and hoped that Hinata did not see. "That's right. Only good wishes. So many bad things happen in this world. I don't want any more of them to happen to Hinata-chan."

"Neither do we," Kageyama said.

"Yes, of course. He's your friend." The leader nodded wisely. "We understand your feelings. We care for our friend, too, the one who has been away from school since that nasty accident. We wish very much for his safe return and for his good reputation to be maintained." He shrugged, insolence in every line of his body. "So, you see, we had to make sure you understood the situation. The world is a heavy place. I'm certain that as long as nothing bad happens to our friend, nothing bad will happen to your friend, either."

Kageyama came very close to punching him, then. His fist rose in the air as if pulled by a string. But Tsukishima took one step forward, his arm overlapping Kageyama's and spoiling his aim. Tsukishima did not look at Kageyama, still facing their mutual enemy. Tension had poured into his frame, though he maintained his lazy posture, his hands still in his pockets, his eyes half-lidded.

Tsukishima tilted his head to the side, watching the third-year leader with barely-veiled contempt. "You have a very strange view of the world, senpai-san. The idea that two fates could be so entwined, connected only by what you call 'a nasty accident.' That's a very odd philosophy. I don't quite agree with it."

"No?" The leader switched his attention from Kageyama to Tsukishima. He grinned, taking some sort of perverse pleasure in this confrontation. "It seems very straightforward to me. If nothing bad happens to our friend, nothing bad will happen to Hinata-chan. What is your philosophy, then, if that one seems so odd to you?"

"My philosophy?" For the first time, Tsukishima straightened. His hands came out of his pockets and his chin lifted so that he was looking even further down his nose at the third-years. "My philosophy is exactly the opposite. If something bad happens to Hinata, something very, very bad will happen to you. All of you. Everyone you are friends with. Everyone you associate with. Everyone you know."

Kageyama wouldn't have believed it was possible, but the leader actually took a step back. Tsukishima followed him. A single step it was, only, but it seemed that a deep chasm suddenly opened in the middle of the hallway, and Tsukishima stood on the bridge between the side of their enemies and the side where Yamaguchi and Kageyama and Hinata still stood, staring and silent.

"My philosophy is that you are pathetic. You are weak, witless worms who have no strength of your own, but must crawl on the ground without spines, and so you are delighted to find a strong master to control you and tell you what to do. My philosophy is that you are worthless and a waste of my precious time, and I should not have taken even this small moment to talk to you and try to communicate these grand truths of the universe, for you are too tiny and petty and blindly ignorant to understand even a glimmer of what I'm saying. My philosophy is that you do not belong here, neither in this hallway nor in this school, and it would be wise of you to return to your rightful place immediately, this instant, before my patience and that of my friends is finally exhausted by your disgusting, draining presence and we see fit to punish your impudence."

Gradually as he spoke Tsukishima leaned forward, and forward, crowding the leader's space. The words spat from his mouth like hard, sharp-edged stones. He wielded his height and his words as weapons, cutting and cutting, endless and unrelenting. The pressure was unbelievable. Kageyama had never felt anything like it from Tsukishima before.

When Tsukishima cared about something, when he found one reason or another to put some effort into his actions, he could be absolutely terrifying. Kageyama was suddenly grateful that they stood on the same side of the net.

The third-years evidently felt it too. They had backed up several steps, struggling to maintain some distance. Tsukishima straightened again, his hands finding his pockets. A satisfied smirk settled on his lips.

"That is my philosophy, senpai-san. Whether you agree with it or not, I hope you at least found it interesting and worthy of consideration."

The leader glanced at his two companions, but found no backup there. He firmed his shoulders in an attempt to regain some dignity and scowled at Tsukishima. "You had better consider our philosophy, as well."

"I heard it." Tsukishima sniffed. "I found nothing worthy in it. But you have followed your orders. You have delivered your message. You can return now to your master and tell him what a good job you did and beg for scraps under the table like a proper little dog."

The leader bared his teeth, hands clenched and raising, but one of his buddies grabbed his arm and murmured in his ear. "Fine!" he blurted. They turned to go, but he wrenched his arm free and pointed at Tsukishima. "But this isn't over, megane-chan. You and I have unsettled business."

Tsukishima laughed, high-pitched and derisive. "If it will help you sleep tonight, you are free to believe that."

The third-years left, pushing and shoving each other down the hall. Tsukishima turned to face his teammates, shoulders loosening down into his usual slouch. "There, now that unpleasantness is finished. Let's go enjoy the rest of our lunch."

Hinata gaped at him in undisguised awe. "I don't...understand…"

"Don't worry about it," Yamaguchi tugged him back toward the classroom. "It was nothing, just a little disagreement between schoolmates."

"But...I've never heard Tsukishima talk like that before…" Hinata let himself be guided back, though he kept looking between Tsukishima, Yamaguchi, and Kageyama as if one of them might answer his unarticulated questions. "What was that all about?"

Kageyama huffed and pulled on Hinata's arm, dragging him through the door and back toward their cozy little circle, which now seemed like a haven of peace, waiting for them with Yachi blinking, her eyebrows raised. "Tsukishima is a jerk, Hinata, we've known that since the moment we met him. So he had some sort of dispute with those upperclassmen. It's no big deal, and it's none of our business."

Tsukishima nodded easily, sitting back down at his chosen desk as if nothing had happened. "That's right. It's nothing for you to concern yourself with."

"But…" Hinata let Kageyama and Yamaguchi push him down into his chair. "That seemed really serious. And you were talking about me, at least at the beginning."

Tsukishima shook his head. "It was nothing. They irritated me, that's all. Don't overestimate your own importance."

"Hinata!" Yachi piped up, and Hinata faced her, reflexively returning her friendly smile. "I meant to ask you, but I forgot. How did your class go this morning? Do you have any homework?"

Hinata laughed and rubbed the back of his head. "Eh, no… The teacher is going easy on me, I think."

"What about the rest of your classes today? Do you think you'll get assignments in those?" Yachi sat forward in her seat and perched her chin on hands, watching Hinata as if nothing was more important than her questions and his answers to them. Hinata was drawn into her intensity very quickly, letting her take charge of the conversation.

When it was clear that she had succeeded in distracting Hinata from the strangeness of the encounter in the hallway, the other three settled back in their chairs with small gestures of relief—a sigh from Yamaguchi, a grunt from Kageyama, a slight unwrinkling of the eyebrows from Tsukishima. The rest of their lunch period passed very quickly. Kageyama could only hope that the incident was behind them and would have no further effect on Hinata.

The rest of them would continue to keep watch. They would not be intimidated by such cowardly threats. If these bastard thugs really wanted to have a go at them, the volleyball club would be ready. Kageyama shared a look with Yamaguchi and Tsukishima and knew that they were all thinking the same thing.

They would not back down.

* * *

**A/N: **I owe a good chunk of this chapter to DevynRaye, who commented earlier and gave me the scenario of those bastards approaching oblivious Hinata in the hall, with Tsukki then stepping in between and Yamaguchi pulling Hinata back by the shoulders. I loved the idea so much that I HAD to make it happen. This chapter was very, very fun to write, and I hope you all enjoyed it. Your comments mean the world to me! Also, starrwinter on tumblr recently made fanart of Hinata with Stego-chan, and it's really, really cute. I'll make a ink in my profile.


	23. Chapter 23

I have received more fanart! I will put a link in my profile for a tumblr tag that will collect it all together.

I'm sorry this is late and short. I'm not sure what will happen next, so writing is more difficult now.

* * *

Before they started practice, the volleyball club circled up in a corner of the gym for their meeting. Everyone was there but Hinata—Kageyama had seen him off with his mom at the front gate just minutes before. Takeda-sensei and Coach Ukai stood on the outskirts, not leading the meeting but listening in quietly.

"All right, how was the first day?" Daichi asked, looking to Kageyama and the other first-years. "Did anything happen that we need to know about?"

Several of them nodded, and Yachi turned a little red. She knew that something had happened though she hadn't seen it, and the others hadn't had a chance to explain it to her before they had to split up for their afternoon classes. Kageyama's hands clenched into fists as the entire scene flooded back into his mind, those punks with their false smiles pasted over a pit of murky hostility, their sneering mouths and laughing eyes. He could only be thankful that their barely-veiled threats had still somehow managed to go over Hinata's head.

"Those bastards..." Kageyama growled.

Before he could go off on a rant, though, Tsukishima spoke up. His voice was smooth and unhurried. "Three upperclassmen stopped Hinata in the hall. They were with Isao on the day of the attack. Fortunately, Yamaguchi and I were traveling with Hinata, and Kageyama joined us immediately. They had no chance to cause any trouble, and Hinata still does not know that he's in any danger."

Daichi watched Tsukishima intently. "What was said, exactly?"

Tsukishima reported the conversation nearly verbatim, though he paused before he got to the part where he'd ripped the fools to shreds with his tongue. Kageyama noticed Takeda, on the edge of the group, writing notes on a clipboard. The other students probably wouldn't notice it, but Kageyama was aware, now, that the adults were probably keeping track of events for use in a future lawsuit. This ought to help with that, he thought. And they sure had plenty of witnesses to this particular incident.

Kageyama was content to let Tsukishima talk. If he tried to tell the story it would just be a lot of blurted phrases and angry gestures he'd learned from Tanaka. Tsukishima at least was able to keep his voice calm and precise, though Kageyama could hear the rage boiling underneath, well-hidden probably even from Tsukishima himself. Yachi was right—Tsukishima cared, even if he liked to pretend that he didn't.

"All right," Daichi said when Tsukishima finished what he was willing to tell. "Is that all?"

Yamaguchi nudged his friend's arm, and Tsukishima glanced at him but did not continue. Yamaguchi did it for him. "Tsukki told them off. It was amazing and really, really cool. But they're mad at him, now, too."

Daichi frowned, crossing his arms over his chest. He looked Tsukishima in the eye. "Then you can't travel alone around the school, either. We don't want any of you to get hurt."

"I'll be fine..." Tsukishima began, irritation clear in his voice, but several others were already speaking.

"Of course I'll be with him," Yamaguchi said, his voice instantly buried by both Tanaka and Noya, who leaped forward to wrap their arms around Tsukishima's shoulders, knocking him off-balance and bringing an instant scowl to his face.

"Us too!" Tanaka grinned wide and fierce. He gave Noya a high-five in front of Tsukishima's face, making Tsukishima jerk back in alarm. "If we can't guard Hinata right now, we'll take care of this bastard, instead."

"Ugh, get off me!" Tsukishima struggled out from beneath their heavy arms, stumbling back only to run into Yamaguchi, who somehow managed to keep him upright. Most of the team laughed at the tomfoolery, but Daichi's face remained grim and business-like, his arms still crossed.

"Yes, that's all right with me," the captain said when they had settled down enough to listen to him again. "Kageyama, you'll keep walking with Hinata, I assume. The rest of us will find excuses to be around, too."

Kageyama nodded. That went without saying.

Daichi watched his face carefully for moment, a speculative look in his eye. "However..."

Kageyama stiffened. He didn't know where the captain's thoughts had gone, but he already didn't like it.

Daichi was looking directly at him now, firm and steady. It was as if no one else was in the room. "I know you're worried about scaring Hinata again. It was difficult for you to deal with him in those first few days, when his fear caused him to cling to you, and I know you're glad that it's gone and you want to keep it that way. That's why we're keeping all of this a secret from him. But I'm no longer sure that that's the wisest course."

"Daichi…" Suga began, his voice worried.

Daichi lifted a hand and shut his eyes, gently cutting him off. He looked to Kageyama again, and Kageyama lifted his chin, his mouth hardening, his hands curling into fists. "What do you mean?" Kageyama asked, but he thought he might already know.

"Hinata's fear in the first few days was a problem because it was irrational and it was hurting him. None of us want him to suffer like that—that's why I'm spending the night there tonight, and Ennoshita will be with him tomorrow, and you're planning to spend the weekend again. These are wise plans and I'm happy to be part of them. But not all fear is irrational. Sometimes it's necessary. Fear is the body and brain's warning system. It tells us to be alert and aware so we can avoid trouble when it comes for us.

"Hinata is under threat right now. It's a credible threat from a group that has injured him in the past. And he doesn't know. He has no idea."

Kageyama was shaking his head, slowly at first, then faster and faster.

Daichi's face remained hard and unflinching. He continued remorselessly, though it was plain that he took no pleasure in saying this. "He's not afraid. But maybe he should be. Maybe he should be on alert and aware of what he faces. We might be doing more harm than good in keeping this from him. We need to consider that possibility."

Kageyama stopped shaking his head, but only because he was starting to feel dizzy. "You're saying…" He choked and tried again. "You're saying that you _want_ Hinata to be scared?"

Daichi shook his head, his expression almost horrified. "No, no, of course not. I don't _want_ this. None of us _want_ any of this, anything that's been happening lately. I want Hinata to be as safe as possible, that's all, and that might mean that we should tell him what's going on."

Kageyama's body was shaking, not just his head. His breath stuttered and his hands felt numb. This was that panic, that feeling of breathless, helpless loss of agency and strength that was starting to feel all too familiar. He hated it, but he didn't know how to make it stop. Daichi had already brought him out of it twice before, but now Daichi was his opposition, and he didn't know how to handle that.

"Kageyama, Kageyama." Yachi's voice. He felt her warmth and presence, smelled a faint scent of fruit and flowers like a sunlit summer garden. She was pressing herself to his side, wrapping her hands around his upper arm in a gentle, undemanding embrace. "Kageyama, don't be scared. It's okay. It's going to be okay."

Kageyama looked up, his vision clearing. Daichi's face was wrenched up, one hand reaching out to Kageyama as if to touch him, to reassure him, and Suga was pressed to his side much the way Yachi was pressed to Kageyama's. Suga was saying something close to Daichi's ear, his tone warm and urgent, though Kageyama couldn't catch the words. The rest of the team stood frozen around them, watching with wide eyes and pained expressions.

Tsukishima, of all people, broke the silence.

"We've been doing all right so far."

Everyone turned to look at him. Tsukishima frowned, color rising to his cheeks, and adjusted his glasses with a dainty touch of his fingers. "We've been doing all right so far," he said again, his voice firm. "Those idiot upperclassmen threatened Hinata in broad daylight and he still doesn't know what's going on. He was also perfectly safe the entire time, I can assure you of that. Why would he need to be afraid when he's already safe? We've taken that job onto our own shoulders. It's working so far."

There were murmurs of agreement. Kageyama glanced around, trying to take it in. His breath came smoothly again. His hands had stopped shaking. Yachi's grip on his arm steadied him, grounded him. It was astonishing, how such a simple thing could make such a huge difference.

The team looked to Daichi again, waiting for his judgment. Daichi sighed, his shoulders slumping, and looked around at everyone. "Yes, it's working so far," he agreed. Several teammates grinned, and Tsukishima settled back on his heels, tension releasing from his stance.

Daichi met Kageyama's eyes. "We'll keep trying," he said, and it was as good as a promise. "We'll keep doing our best. We all know, though, that this status quo cannot hold forever."

"No," Kageyama murmured, his voice rough. "But for a little while longer. Please."

Daichi nodded, a touch of fond exasperation tinging the resignation in his body language. "A little while longer. I'm sorry I frightened you."

Kageyama didn't bother denying it. He knew it had been obvious how panicked he'd been. He looked around at the team, taking in their relieved expressions, their gladness at having this issue resolved. A number of them had taken his side, silently in most cases, but still strongly. Against the captain. They had seen his fear and they had wanted to protect him. The thought almost made him dizzy again.

"All right, all right," Daichi grumbled, looking around in much the same way. "We have our plans. Let's start practice now." When several people hesitated, he stood straight and glared. "Am I the captain or not? Let's go!"

Some scattered chuckles as the group began to break up, heading for the nets and the volleyballs. Coach Ukai and Takeda-sensei moved to the edge of the gym, heads bent over Takeda's clipboard. Eventually the corner cleared until only Kageyama and Daichi were still standing there, staring at each other somewhat sheepishly.

"Are you all right?" Daichi asked.

Kageyama's chin jerked in a nod. "I'm sorry if I seemed disrespectful. I know you only want what's best for Hinata."

Daichi sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "I want what's best for you, too."

"I know." The words came out a little strangled, but he did believe them. It was just difficult to say aloud. Kageyama stared at the floor, then looked back up at Daichi. "There's something I want you to know, though..."

Daichi raised his eyebrows, listening silently.

Kageyama took a deep breath. "The reason I don't want Hinata to be scared is not because I don't want him clinging to me."

Daichi's eyes widened. "Of course not. I never thought that."

"Hinata can cling to me all he wants," Kageyama pushed on, determined to get this out. "If he needs me to move into his house, I'll do it. I don't care what it takes. He's my friend, and I'm not good at being a friend, but I'll do whatever I need to do. I never learned what it means to be a friend, not really, but I'm trying now. I'm learning new things every day, it seems like. Sometimes it's scary and overwhelming, just because it's all so new, but I don't care about that. I don't care how hard I have to work, or how much I have to learn, or how much time I have to spend on this. I'll do whatever it takes, because Hinata is important to me, and I...I have to..."

"Kageyama. Kageyama." Daichi's hands were on his shoulders.

Kageyama looked up and found the captain's concerned face bent near his own. He stopped talking abruptly and pulled in a breath. He'd been on the edge of getting dizzy again. Really, this was too much.

"Kageyama." Daichi squeezed his shoulders gently. "That's not what I meant when I said that Hinata's fear was difficult for you to handle. I didn't mean that you didn't care about him or that you found it annoying. I meant that it was difficult for you _because_ you care and _because_ Hinata is your friend. I know that, all right? We all know that. We could all see that very clearly. It hurt us to see you suffering, just as it hurt you to see Hinata suffering."

Oh.

Oh. Kageyama drew a shaky breath, then nodded just as shakily.

"You're important too, Kageyama." Daichi's voice was calm and soothing, the voice from the walkway, the voice from that moment in Hinata's house when Kageyama almost lost control. "You've had a lot of burdens on your shoulders since the attack. We would all like to ease them for you. I know you feel guilty about keeping things from Hinata, and I thought it might be time to take that away."

This was overwhelming in its own way. Kageyama closed his eyes for a moment, seeking some distance, trying to absorb it. After a moment, he was able to open his eyes and look at Daichi again. "Okay. Thank you."

It wasn't really enough to express what he felt in that moment, but it was the only thing he could figure out how to say.

Daichi smiled and stood back, releasing Kageyama's shoulders with a final pat. "Okay. Are you ready to play some volleyball?"

Kageyama glanced around the gym. The sounds of volleyballs smacking off hands into the floor already resounded around the room, the squeaking of shoes, the calls of eager voices bent to their tasks. Beautiful sounds, his favorite in the world. Everything seemed to fade away with that erratic music in his ears, all the anxiety and pressure and uncertainty. None of it mattered when there was volleyball to play.

Before he knew it, he was smiling at Daichi as smoothly and naturally as if he smiled all the time. Daichi smiled back. "All right. Let's go."


End file.
